Good morning all. Thank you for the posts, it is very encouraging to read them all. Getting ready to head out for our first vacation sober. Day 62 for me. I read an interesting story 4 days ago. About a mountain climber who had a goal to reach the peak. On the way the climber stopped for a break. Just below him on a ledge was a man who asked the climber to take a rope that was tied around the man’s waist. The climber took the rope and the man jumped off the ledge. The climber repeatedly tried helping the man, trying various methods to get the man to help the climber get the man to safety. Each time the man refused crying ‘don’t let go of the rope or I will die’. As the weather started to change and the sky darkened, the climber knew he would miss the opportunity to reach the goal to climb to the peak. The climber made the decision to let go of the rope. The story ended asking the reader – what is it that you are hanging onto that you need to let go of. I immediately said ‘my job’. Well, before I left work for the day yesterday, my manager basically told me things are not working out. I didn’t get laid off. My ego is hurt; however, the great news is I didn’t drink. It did not even occur to me that drinking was an option. As I commuted home I talked to Spirit and thank her for closing that door and stay close to me as the new one gets ready to present itself. Money fears are sprouting in my mind. I just keep repeating ‘All is Well’. I am grateful for my beloved supportive spouse, for all of you and your posts. And Belle. And sobriety.
Suze99 – something amazing is coming your way. I can feel it. I am so glad you posted, as life happens and gets stressful. I love how you put on your PJs to avoid going out and to get comfy. So glad you are sober during this time, it is challenging enough without adding a hangover to it all. I am looking forward to reading your future posts on how the situation turns around. Wolfie is pushing your financial buttons. Thank you for being so honest.
Wow sober4real, this is a powerful share. Thank you. Though the trials come, there are blessings to meet them. Good dentists, sobriety, extra funds. Beauty for ashes. Have a blessed time with your Dad.
@deester yes I am fortunate to have a bit of money to spend on fixing my teeth but I really wanted to spend it on my new house as I don’t even have it furnished yet. One thing at a time that is for sure!
Hi chasingthedandelion. I ditto kitten’s reply. Focus on the little things, clean house, clear eyes, the gift of a sober morning, breathing, this blog, listening to music. Try visualizing yourself not drinking at the wedding. Self-pity is one of my default behaviors. I have come to recognize that when that behavior rears up, it is time for me to be good to myself. To enjoy the adventure of shrugging off the angst and fill my day with thoughts and actions, like sobriety, that I will not regret. Like kitten says, the blank days will fill soon enough. And who knows, the wedding could get cancelled. Life is like that.
Oh RineyLou, I can so relate to this. My husband travels and I would drink while he was away thinking I was being incognito. And then hiding the bottle(s) under other recyclables. He knew, all I had to do was open my mouth when he called to check on me and he could tell. Fortunately, I am married to an amazing forgiving ex-drinker.
Lol. My Husband is substance free and hasn’t drink for years too. The things I thought I could get away with, until I opened my mouth 🙈 he would always know my tricks. Thankfully as each day goes by, those days are no longer my/our normal!
Thanks all for your kind words yesterday. Truthfully, I am frustrated with myself. In my drinking days, I lived in a place I, in hindsight, loved. But at the time I was negative, hung over a lot and the city I lived in has long winters. I focused on the negative and decided to up chuck every thing and move to a warmer climate. Now, sober, I wake up to realize what a wonderful place I lived in, cold and all. I am frustrated with myself because I know I am capable of so much more than what I do for work, however this part of the country does have the quality companies or opportunities. I was actually told that my position might be eliminated because I do my work so quickly and there isn’t enough work to go around. Anyway, I am still there with long hours with little work to do. I am formulating a plan to return to the part of the country that I love, near my son, and family. I feel as if I am in a long hallway and the door out has not appeared yet. I am putting an awful lot of pressure on myself to find something that I love to do. So, yesterday I had a massage, got some great advice to breathe and then had Italian food and chocolate cake. During no time did drinking even occur to me. This is the blessing, being sober. Thanks all! I love this community.
Hi @deester! Well done on not drinking yesterday as you were wrestling with some pretty large life decisions! By reading through your words, it sounds to me like you can boil down what you are looking for into ‘connection’ and ‘purpose’. I think those buckets can be filled up in a lot of different ways for a lot of people, and I’m not sure the best way to fill those buckets in your life, but if you focus on how you can bring ‘connection’ and ‘purpose’ into your life I think you will be shown the right path to take. Isn’t it great that when we stay sober we can see our lives from a different viewpoint and can make decisions that we can trust?! Well done, you are doing so well! xo
Ohhh…whoa, @Deester. Yeah man, you’ll get back to where you belong, if north is where you want to be. What a detour. Seems the rest of the world can flap around all it wants, so long as alcohol isn’t in the equation, aye. Keep breathing. You sound good!
I hear yah @deester. I am in the process of figuring out my life too. I totally get the long hallway with no door analogy. The massage and chocolate cake sounds like a fantastic way to treat yourself!!!👍👍👍
The door is there. You will create it for yourself. The door will appear when you make your decision and decide to use it. You’re totally in the right place in the hallway right now. Everything will come.
Good morning Jesss. It is good to get these thoughts out of your head. This is reality. Interesting feeling, jealousy. It’s comparing oneself to others, thinking they have something better than I do. Looking at it from another angle, you have something far better than they do – sobriety. Go to your sober tool box and treat yourself. When you were a girl, and didn’t have alcohol, what treats made you feel joy, put a smile on your face, happy? Your sister is making her own choices. A wise person once told me that other adult human beings are not my responsibility, no matter how closely their lives intertwine with mine. Hope this helps. 🙂 Deester, Day 54.
Hi dorothyparker (by the by, Dorothy Parker is one of my favorite authors). Well done on 85 days. I too am a people pleaser and noticing myself not automatically jumping in to offer a solution or opinion or judgement. This is huge for me. I think dealing with difficult people is a challenge for all of us. If it is someone that matters to me, I pray about it and ask for guidance and usually the matter gets resolved on its own or an opportunity to resolve presents itself w/out me having to orchestrate anything. If it is someone just passing through my life, I turn away. Least said, soonest mended. I like this acronym -WAIT: Why Am I Talking. It is usually my mouth that jumps in there and causes most of my grief. 🙂
Hi Esther, keep posting, you got this, use the tools that work for you. I ask my self, ‘would I like to wake up at day __ or day 1 again?’ Treats help too. If need be, walk away when the drinking starts. Let us know how it goes.
Hi Annie – oy that is a blow. Sounds like he left the relationship, emotionally, long before he left physically. Now is your time to focus on your self and give yourself the amazing gift of your own attention. A blessing. Congrats on day 20.
Hi gage. Thanks for the post. In 7 days we are going on my first vacation to the beach – sober. I am a bit nervous. However, I have this site with friends like you posting, treats and reminder that I have 53 days sober, and I do not want to start again at day 1. I dream about day 119….
Hey @Deester, I’m going to give you my tag line for not drinking on vacation, or the beach, or boating, or around the campfire. I don’t see a problem with drinking on vacation if one can stop or manage to remember the vacation. But I won’t stop. So my line is “we don’t drink on vacation because the vacation ends but our drinking doesn’t”. Same for the beach! xo
Thank you for the post Chordaroy. Day 53 for me. When I walk my 3 doggies in the early morning I actually hear nature, the birds, breezes, rustling leaves, notice the blossoms, clouds. In my drinking days, I was like Lucy, how much vodka did I really drink last night, when will I ever ‘get it’ and quit. blah, blah blah….
Waking up to day 46. I enjoy reading the posts, this tribe is remarkable, honest and funny. I read something on Tuesday that I have been pondering. ‘Refrain from looking at the causes of failure. Imagine, then create, the circumstances that will make me both happy and productive.’ This is the small voice in my head. The paragraph went on to say that ‘insight comes when I am relaxed and feel good about myself. Insight requires time, and time, despite conventional wisdom, is there in abundance.’ AF thinking.. Great day to all. Off to walk the doggies and then commute to my paycheck. Love to this AF Tribe.