• Deede posted an update 8 months ago

    Day 10 woo hoo! Not to shabby This is a first…Feeling super this morning I find Im up early only 7 hours sleep. Im just not tired, been doing a lot of running and exercise. I find Ive been hashing through a lot of old memories of my life and the past and just everything. Some things very emotional and eye opening for sure.
    But life is good today and one day at a time 😄 right
    Hope everyone is doing well in there SF journey

    • Congratulations on Day 10. Awesome, and you sound positive and focussed on the GOOD. Well done.

    • congrats on day 10, exercising and such an uplifting attitude. thx for sharing.

    • Congrats on ten days @deede πŸ™‚ lots of running and exercise sounds great, that’s what I need to do

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Not much of a nice friend eh? Hope she feels like shit and remembers some of the night and how she was an ass to you @jsac

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    That was good of you to try to help her..I know we’ve all been in that position like her and totally helpless. Thats when a lot of woman can get in trouble or end up dead. I thank you for her πŸ™‚ You were kind @strongerthanever

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @01oceanbreeze for keeping in control. My drinking brain has been running everything for so long I have to keep fighting it from one minute to the next. Its not easy we live in a world of drinking and its every where. Its been a full life time for me and I do find it very very hard. Its been a normal way of life for me since 16. Im now 59 Yikes. I hope to fight this and beat it before Im 60 in one more year. Its like a split personality, sort of, isn’t it? Keep fighting back!

    • Yes definitely a split between two apposing thinking patterns! Right now the sober thinking is in full control of my mind, not giving the stinking irrational addict thinking a chance. They say we all have good and bad and the one that grows bigger is the one you feed. I totally get that saying now!

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Another great idea Thanks @suek

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 1 week ago

    Love waking up after a good deep uninterrupted sleep. Wow Feel very energetic. Its nice to have my morning coffee come on her and NOT hate myself 😀 Hope everyone is having a good day Going to get out there and get my morning run in. Feels so much better not being sick too.

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 1 week ago

    Feeling pretty good today. Last few days Ive been a little depressed. But today Im going for a run & tomorrow Im hitting the gym again. Being sick for two weeks with cold & flu docent help any

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Thats just how I feel now Theres clarity…That this is it Thanks @tom4500

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Your right @jm Im always mad at myself Time to be nice Its Christmas right? Thanks for that one πŸ™‚
    Yes Your right @timidwarrior I am now realizing that this is for me and no one else. I feel stronger everyday Thanks

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    So true Thanks @kitten

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Saturday night with Tea & Trolls sounds superb!

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Congratulations Your doing great

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Wow You are soooo busy, you need some time for yourself to relax

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    Hmm I can relate to that

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 1 week ago

    Well heres whats new Day 2…I f*#k#d up 2 nights ago. We are taking care of a friends place for a few months and she left a box of wine in the fridge. Well I opened it with the intention of just a glass with dinner. After that I don’t remember much but hubby was pretty mad at me that evening and I was crying for what seemed like hours in bed, in the dark. I love him and do not want to loose him. We’ve only just got married and it would be the end of the world to loose what we have. Ive never seen him so mad. I promised that I won’t drink any more that I have quit and this is it for me not ever going back to drink again. I truly believe this was the wake up call I needed. Im such an ass. I have felt so terrible about myself. I feel like a piece of garbage. Im so depressed. All Ive ever wanted was to make him happy. You will see me here a lot more for support.

    • sorry to hear it @deede. of course, I know you know, you have to get sober for you, not for him. his support and desire for you to be sober is no doubt a great help, but reach inside you, know this is your day and don’t pick up. don’t beat yourself up, you know that this is one bad night in a boat load of many. it is a numbers game not a zero sum game. and you have more numbered days sober than not. be well.

    • Oh, go easy on yourself! You picked up the drink, yes..but it’s a nasty, cunning addiction. You controversies in myself loathing, but by self love. .xxoo.

    • Don’t overcome by. Jesus. Auto spell hell.

      • Ok @ Robynb, I can’t decode that one….@Deede, I’ve been there after fights with my hubby. Even after the guilt, remorse, and promises, I still drank. As @kitten said, I had to do it for myself. Not my hubby nor my son. They reap the benefits of course, but outside motivation did not work. Take it slow, one day at a time. Don’t forge into it full steam ahead as a race to be won. It’s a life long decision.

    • Day 2. I am so so proud of you for taking this first step into talking about the reality of your drinking. It is not your fault. It is a problem, of course. I always liked that saying because had someone told me “it is your fault” when I was drinking, it would have honestly made me drink more. But to say it was not my fault I became addicted to a highly addictive substance, felt like saying “You like eating chocolate.” Lots of people who taste chocolate once, like it. And that made me a not-extra-bad human being. I was a normal human with a normal reaction to alcohol, which I shared with millions of fellow humans who also had an unhealthy relationship with it.

      And I was able to see it being a problem because waking up hungover and not knowing what I had said, done, or posted was awful. It sounds like you care about your marriage and put it before the alcohol. Well done! And you know what? It is ok to need help.

      This forum might be enough, but maybe it won’t. In that case, give yourself permission to go to AA, talk to your GP, anything you need to put in place to keep yourself safe. Sobriety is about ourselves first and foremost. Like having the flu or diabetes, we deserve proper medical attention in the form of medication if needed, or therapy, or support groups.

      Easy for me to say all that. I lapsed 3-4 times and each time got way too drunk yet again, and begged my husband to go get me more. Not my proudest days. But I was addicted. And had a normal reaction to a drug I was addicted to.

      oxoxoxoxo

      You got this.
      I am so glad you are here.

    • I’ve heard it described as “a day not unlike many others”, and yet a day when you know, with clarity and certainty, that “That’s it. No more.” I had such a day, and I’ve seen others here tell of theirs; perhaps you this is yours. If you send booze on it’s way, it will take a lot of those bad feelings with it. Sorry you’re feeling so bad. Well done, getting back here, we can’t fix a problem until we face up to it.

    • Aw @Deede, go easy on yourself. So many of us have done the exact same thing. I think the main reason why I stopped was that I got so tired of being mad at myself all of the time. Be extra nice to yourself, check in lots, hugs to you. All is well. x

    • Sending hugs your way too, @Deede. We are here for you!

    • Its great to see you back @deede πŸ™‚ Congrats on d2 πŸ™‚ xx

    • @deede big hugs! Don’t be too hard on yourself lovely. These things happen. You are back here, post as often as you need to x
      You need to want to do this for yourself not just to make your husband happy.
      Take it easy, be kind to yourself, you are trying your best and that’s all anyone can ask of you!

      • Your right @jm Im always mad at myself Time to be nice Its Christmas right? Thanks for that one πŸ™‚
        Yes Your right @timidwarrior I am now realizing that this is for me and no one else. I feel stronger everyday Thanks

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Very Brave . Happy for you too

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thats awesome @Winner 110 Wow Congratulations!

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks almost there πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thats the perfect word “Battle” Its just an on going fight in my head

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thats would be pretty tough for me to handle. You must have a strong will

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hope that last call will set you in the right direction @frog. I never thought about how difficult it could be for someone in that profession. I haven’t a religious bone in my body and just can’t do the group thing. Anything thing I read or anyone I talk to about the AA group… I find its always too much about religion for me. So Im pretty much on my own here. I would like to find a womans recovery group in my area, I can drop into and that isn’t charging an arm and a leg for the Recovery Program. But there isn’t anything Ive have found yet. This site is the best thing Ive had. Sounds frustrating for you I’m sure. Well…you do have us πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Super! Congrats!

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Finally feeling better today The cold is starting to break up and Im getting my voice back. Would be nice to stop coughing so much πŸ™‚ Any how I don’t think m quite ready to go back to gym just yet, but I will work out at home at my own pace and then hit the road for a walk jog. That will make me get back on top. I really find my afternoons around 3 to 6 such a hard struggle. I get so tired of even just thinking about alcohol all the time. Its always in the back of your head. Wish there was an off switch. Normally in the mornings… I Feel great and Im glad to not be hung over. I guess being ill lately I haven’t had the cheery mornings. So heres to getting back on track. Have a great day everyone.

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes @soberheart I can relate to what you are going through. Funny sometimes my hubby ‘s with me on this and other times ,he drinks and takes me out for lunch etc and things like that don’t help me. Its definitely a struggle. But its so true… it is YOUR one and only life How do you want to live it? Love yourself and do it for YOU πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Laying low Got the Flu and a bad cold. So not much eating or drinking hear. Just feel like crap and staying on the couch. Thank god for Netflix movies πŸ™‚
    Hope everyone is having a good start to the week so far πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Doing great I have the Flu right now so its easy not to drink. haha I feel like crap. But this too shall pass and I need to keep guard up. Hope your doing well?

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes you are right there sure is a lot that do drink

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    I just watched a short talk on You Tube that was super…Making Sober less shameful By Clare Pooley
    Here is the link

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Just keep thinking of all you friends on here routing for you. All in this together. I understand , everyone I know drinks. Must stay tough and think its just poison and you will feel like shit. You are stronger then that @feelingfried
    !

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    I don’t think anyone really likes change. But keep at it and ask questions and you be comfy on here again in no time at all.

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow Thats super, good going!

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi there Welcome @futureme

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    I agree Who needs booze for a Christmas gift. No thought put into that
    🙄

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Ahhh Got it Yes it is fun 🤡👍

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Me too…where are the emojis???

  • Deede posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wow this site has sure changed its great. And it seems a little faster for me too. πŸ™‚
    Glad to be back on here and having the support of LS gang.
    Whats new with everyone Hope you are all doing well?
    As for me here I am trying again I read my profile and I have been trying everything for 3 years now. Wow
    That was sure an eye opener. Ive decide to speak out to friends and family that I have quit. And seek out the friends I have that don’t drink for help too.
    I think this will help me a great deal

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hmm I had problems with Rosacea But it was like little blood vessel veins breaking out on cheeks and nose. They are going away now but that was the booze doing that too.

  • Deede changed their profile picture 8 months, 3 weeks ago

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Yes your right…moderating just is NOT working for me

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Nice, Thanks for that

  • Deede posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Day 2 Here I go… This time Im done with it. I know we’ve all heard that before…Ive been struggling for 2 years now to quit completely. Now its worn me out Im ready. Glad the fall is here I think it helps. When the weather is sunny & hot everyone is drinking out in the sun. I just feel tired of even thinking about alcohol. Should I shouldn’t I… Maybe I should change…drink something else, Ive gone from wine to ciders then to gin & water. Im still bloated and over weight. Then its like …well maybe I’ll cut back UUUgh!!! Enough already Im sick of thinking about it anymore.
    I feel awesome today with no alcohol in me and Im heading to the gym soon. Wish me luck

    • Good luck, @Deede. Always good to see you.

    • You can do this @deede!! Yes…summer sun is a trigger for me..and summers off as I work in education. Guess what..2 summers ago I drank and felt good than miserable. And made an ass of myself. The constant anxiety, etc etc. And head games. Fast forward to last summer…I did it AF. …started AF end of Aug the last boozy summer. It was great! I think the momentum of fall winter will get you on track

    • @deede – i do wish you luck. it seems to me that it is a full time job having the energy not to pick up a drink some days. If this is your day, throw everything you have at it. You know you have not succeeded moderating and you are not happy with alc in your life from what you have written. Looking forward to reading your posts.

    • @Deede oh those games we play! I switched from wine to vodka tonics because I didn’t drink so many so fast. Trust me, it’s so freeing not having to struggle with those games anymore. There’s lots of yummy mocktails and drinks that you’d never waste calories on that are waiting for you now. I tried everything to get my weight down – every diet as long as I could keep wine in it and it never worked. I’m 20 pounds down now – you can do it too!

    • Hi @deede πŸ™‚ glad to see you. We will support you every step of the way x

    • Sound s like your off to a good start @deede! Every season was a trigger for me! Every day. In fact I used to say that just breathing was a trigger and it was. Once you’ve decided that you’ve had enough you learn how to get through the triggers cause drinking just isn’t worth it anymore.

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Sounds like your on the right track πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted an update 12 months ago

    Well Im back… and still trying, Day 2.

    • So glad you’re here @Deede. Day 2 and back here is the very best place for you to be today. Please visit us often as we need you! We all need each other – to celebrate day 2’s, to celebrate days 202’s, to encourage and support each other, and to lift each other up. We are all on this AF lifestyle journey together. Some days we are strong pillars and can stand on our own, yet when we are weak we can lean on someone else who is a bit stronger. However you are feeling, always feel free to share with us. Never stop trying!

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I always find the workouts really help, they make you feel so good afterwards…Have a great work out @Kit Congratulations on 139 WOW πŸ™‚

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Big Hugs to you @ChardaNO Been visiting a friend in hospice Not fun
    Stay Positive & Strong

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Thanks Im trying. A neighbour just came by and invited us over to see their new trailer. Im taking a ginger ale with me πŸ˜‰

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Super well written Thank you @liberty

  • Deede posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago

    Well 2 o’clock here, bright hot and sunny. Happy hour is approaching YIKES! Everyone I know here drinks. Ive been no, no, no all day. Now sitting on my deck with my fruit flavoured water, My brain says 1 beer won’t hurt and then its No,no, no. on of..f on ..off In the beginning its so hard not to think about it. If I can just get to 5:00 an make dinner I will be all right. And in the morning I will be super happy that I had a great sleep and then work out again in the gym to get fit and lose weight. (Not to just burn the calories I drank the day before) Thats just unless crap that is!

    • Great to see you @deede πŸ™‚ stay strong! X

      • Thanks Im trying. A neighbour just came by and invited us over to see their new trailer. Im taking a ginger ale with me πŸ˜‰

    • Yes think ahead to tomorrow. You’ll feel amazing without a hangover! Hang in there x

    • Yes, you don’t even have to feel happy. Just keep your focus, have something to drink, keep a mantra in your head like “one minute at a time until 5 p.m.” And go to bed early, Gingerale is great for a hot day drink. I sucked down a diet Vernors and 2 diet cokes while working in the yard, it was so hot and I never drink pop. They were right next to a dozen cold beers. Just kept my eyes averted and grabbed the pop. Have a great morning tomorrow!

    • Don’t give your power away @deede. If you feel wobbly and ginger beer probably won’t cut it under pressure, go and check out the trailer in the morning when you can have a cup of tea instead. I don’t see the point in putting yourself through the pain and being a matyr.

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Hello there @JuneC15 and welcome to this site

  • Deede posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    @ChardaNO Nice that you are there for her – You are her strength:)

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