• DaveH posted a new activity comment 48 minutes ago

    The actual research paper (not for the faint-hearted) is here: http://uthscsa.edu/artt/AddictionJC/2018-09-11-Augier.pdf

  • DaveH posted an update 49 minutes ago

    For those interested enough here is some interesting new(ish) research.

    “Finding the vulnerable minority
    Only” about 10 to 15% of people exposed to alcohol develop alcohol-related problems. The behavioral repertoire of people confronted with opportunities to consume alcohol involves numerous choices between this drug reward and healthy a…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 7 hours, 45 minutes ago

    HI @reginald It’s good to hear from you again. Dust yourself down and give this another crack but remember this time that you already know that it’s possible, necessary and worthwhile… so you aren’t back at the beginning. This time you know what’s coming, and you know you can do it. You’ve now also learned the importance of staying connected to…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 22 hours ago

    Wonderful! Thank you for posting this.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 2 minutes ago

    Hi @ginny What can you do to keep yourself reminded of this… “Tried moderation for the umpteenth time…. never works.” Can you put it on the fridge? on the bathroom mirror? or can you say it to yourself every morning? The idea … “you’ve got this beat now… you can have just one” is going to come again. What can you do to push it away when i…[Read more]

    • Thanks @DaveH. Have some tools from a counsellor I’m working with. I have journaled previous sobriety so that’s lots of positive writing to look back on. My biggest thing I need to get my head round is “I’m missing out”. I know it’s lies!

      • Hi @ginny congrats on day six! You just won an AF body but yes, the mind still likes to play tricks on us. FOMO (fear of missing out) is a big one but only if you let it be. Just what are we missing out on. My last relapse was a repeat of the gifts that alcohol has given me. The ability to realize that I cannot stop, to lose my physical and mental…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 22 hours, 8 minutes ago

    Hi @abbyanon Please don’t feel like a washout. Very few people manage to stop drinking at the first attempt… VERY few. Being at day 1 again isn’t the exception, it’s the norm. It isn’t what you intended, and it isn’t what you wanted, but it is what it is. The only failure in this would be if you didn’t learn from it. What do you know now that…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 8 hours ago

    Hi @sobere. Unfortunately there’s no way to make the printed book free, but if you can read an eBook then you’re most welcome to download a copy directly from my web page https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/alcoholism-in-a-nutshell/

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 9 hours ago

    Hi @Tim
    You are already changed.
    You are already different.

    Good on you.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 9 hours ago

    Hi @sobere You know “I’ll be tempted” and that’s as much as you need to know. When it comes then simply recognise it, acknowledge it, and tell it it can leave again… you’re not interested. You’re doing well but also know that you are on the very trickiest days right now. Your mind will be going off about having a drink, but push back. You are n…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 9 hours ago

    HI @twistedthistle 2 weeks is fantastic! Keeping busy was important for me too. I always found that time alone in my head was when things would get difficult, but by making my brain fully occupied when things got tough I could reduce the self-sabotaging chatter.

  • DaveH posted an update 1 day, 10 hours ago

    Hi @picklegirl @twistedthistle How’s it going today?

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 22 hours ago

    Hi @Sara1988 You say “i feel like crap. Headache, dehydration, anxiety”… unfortunately that’s normal. That’s what’s supposed to happen. Don’t talk yourself out of doing this. It is perfectly possible, lots of people do it and we don’t have any special super-power that you don’t. You can do this… it’s what has to happen. When the voices in your…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 days, 8 hours ago

    Hi @lee-2 What you have identified here is the feedback loop of our addiction. We are in distress. Alcohol relieves that distress so we drink. But more alcohol makes us more distressed, so we drink again. It is a relentless self-amplifying loop. Long term exposure to alcohol makes us feel miserable, lacking social confidence, and anxious. Once we…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 days, 8 hours ago

    Hi @Thewillie Re “now I know why I am constantly fighting with myself” Thank you, that’s the whole point of the book. Our biggest challenge in stopping drinking is actually not with alcohol but our own minds. It is our own minds that create all the cravings, bad emotions and sabotaging thinking that make stopping so difficult. When we know what…[Read more]

    • Ohhh How come I didn’t know about this!!! I better get my hands on that one. Way to go for writing a book, DaveH!!!! oxoxoxo

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Brilliant!… these are great insights into yourself and other people. Nicely done.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 4 days, 5 hours ago

    Hi @jsquad6 You have had some excellent advice here, and here are a few more things that will help.
    – Remove all alcohol from the house if you can. If it’s there you will drink it.
    – Try to avoid going past the places you used to drink regularly; take different routes if that’s possible.
    – Don’t even drive into car-parks of places where alcohol…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    Hi @lee-2 You are sounding really on top of things at the moment. This is a remarkable transformation from 2 weeks ago when you wrote this…

    ““Typing this is so hard right now but I realize it has to be done. I’m severely toxic but there is a clinic right down the road from me that I may go to today if they are open… Been sober but it never l…[Read more]

    • @DaveH I can’t thank you enough for pointing this out and into my journal it goes!! Front page. This nearly brought tears to my eyes and that post from 2 weeks ago made my head, heart and gut ache so yes, I need not forget. I basically had become a triennial binge drinker for a countless number of years, not able to stop until the wheels fell off.…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 5 days, 19 hours ago

    Hi @julielynn There is nothing “only” about 5 days. 5 days is brilliant!

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 6 days, 4 hours ago

    This is from today’s Daily Telegraph in the UK (reprinted in the NZ Herald)

    “Dressed in a black headscarf, trimmed with gold, Jacinda Ardern held members of her country’s Muslim community firmly in her arms as their tears fell.

    It was Saturday. The previous day, last Friday, New Zealand had been rocked by the worst terror attack in its mod…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 6 days, 5 hours ago

    Hi @ridge “I am planning on trying to drink reasonably from March 20” My hat is off to you if you can pull that one off; I failed miserably at such attempts. If you can find the time it would be well worth recording how you feel right now (emotionally that is) and then comparing it to how you are in 3 months time. If you record this “before and…[Read more]

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