• DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 16 hours ago

    The three biggest barriers for me were: I didn’t think it was necessary (I’m not that bad!), I didn’t think it was worthwhile (people that don’t drink are boring) and I didn’t think it was possible (I’ve tried and tried, but can’t). All three were untrue.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 17 hours ago

    Hi @mindshell There’s nothing “only” about two weeks, that’s brilliant! Well done and keep doing what’s working.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 1 day, 22 hours ago

    Hi @Jesss Yes, that’s why I liked it too. One of the issues we face is that over a period of time the reasons we had to stop drinking start to fade. This is when all the arguments like “maybe I wasn’t that bad”, “I can probably have just one”, “I can probably keep it under control now” etc, etc start to sound more convincing. Our memories of dri…[Read more]

    • I still have stubbie that I took out of fridge the day I stopped I might try doing that that’s cool stuff.

  • DaveH posted an update 2 days, 11 hours ago

    I read this somewhere else today and really liked the idea, so I thought I’d pass it on.

    “I had a wine bottle in the house and I thought about throwing it away. But instead I got some labels and wrote on them lots of negative thoughts about drinking: TIME WASTER, SICKNESS, ANXIETY, INSOMNIA, DEPRESSION, SADNESS, FUZZY HEAD, BAD SKIN, HAPPINESS…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 days, 17 hours ago

    Hi @heidi19 If we could do this alone then we’d have stopped drinking a long time ago, and if it was possible then there wouldn’t be a whole industry and community based groups dedicated to the purpose. It seems we need to stay connected to power through it. We need support, reassurance, recognition and sometimes guidance. We can get all of these…[Read more]

    • Just had a cuppa and cracker biscuits and relish and cheese! Has hit the spot nicely! Thanks for a great reply @DaveH, never stopped to think how many old read my posts!!

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 days, 17 hours ago

    Hi @em100 It wasn’t anything you said or did… this site occasionally drops posts without any warning or explanation. It’s frustrating but doesn’t happen that often.

    • Ahhh ok – I shall stop taking it personally then 😉

      • Hey @em100. One major contributor to the disappearing post (that i have found anyway) is when u go back in to edit. I’ve lost a few that way so i don’t edit at all anymore.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 2 days, 19 hours ago

    Depending how you have your settings this can also happen when you delete your internet history

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 7 hours ago

    But you do have to stop digging!

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 7 hours ago

    Hi @shez The free download link for “Alcoholism in a Nutshell” is here https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/links/

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 17 hours ago

    Hhaha. My experience was that it was wiser to set off in the opposite direction, otherwise when I got near the pub I’d be going “you’ve done so well! you deserve a drink after that” But of course one was never enough for Eric (that’s what I called mine).

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 17 hours ago

    Hi @heidi19 Is there something you can deliberately go and do at 4:00 every day for a while? Something that will keep you occupied for an hour or so?
    P.S. Mona’s not your friend. She has been lying to you for years.

    • Yeah, wondered about being healthy and going for a walk to the pub,lol!! @daveh.

      • Hhaha. My experience was that it was wiser to set off in the opposite direction, otherwise when I got near the pub I’d be going “you’ve done so well! you deserve a drink after that” But of course one was never enough for Eric (that’s what I called mine).

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 21 hours ago

    Hi @shez How about making some plans to make it work this time. Here are a bunch of things that helped me get going.

    – Don’t have alcohol in the house, don’t go into bars or restaurants that sell alcohol, don’t go into liquor outlets or anywhere you can buy alcohol, don’t go near the places you used to drink after work and don’t go to anywhere…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Hi @missbennet Whereabouts have the wheels come off for you in the past? How about making some plans to avoids those banana skins this time? e.g. “Yes… it’s true. I can’t control my drinking. I don’t need to find this out again I already know it and I hate the way I feel after picking up again.” Put a note on the fridge? on the bathroom mirror?…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 5 days, 10 hours ago

    Hi @shalane I think you’re answered the problem for yourself. You need to continue work, so residential detox and rehab are out.
    You have to do this within your own resources but recognise that you can’t succeed alone. That’s a biggie!… if we could do this on our own then we’d have done so a long time ago wouldn’t we?

    So you’re detoxing at…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted an update 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Here a short list of why I might drink tonight and why I should not. Do you have some of your own reasons to add?

    Reasons to drink tonight:
    1. The first couple of drinks relax me and put me in a positive state of mind.
    2. I won’t have to deal with cravings.

    Reasons to not drink tonight:
    1. I never stop at a few drinks
    2. I will wake up feeling r…[Read more]

    • A good list @daveh!

    • Wow! what’s not to like?

    • Thank you for the reminder as I start on my sober journey again tomorrow. Soooo many more reasons to not drink, but so hard when you are in a bad space….Im so frustrated with myself. Tomorrow is a new day.

    • Yes!!!!
      Spot on
      How ironic…I’m on the couch now after binge watching Netflix, turned off tv and room dark…had a flashback of drunk as a skunk, pounding heart, on couch, in pitch blackness. EWWWWWW. Shudders. How weird I just came on here and read this, Dave. Thanks for sharing

    • this is great! One night drinking would have me hungover, unproductive, depressed and unwell for 3-5 days afterward.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 5 days, 21 hours ago

    How about trying something radically different? How about you write up a plan for going a week without drinking? For each of the seven days plan out how you are going to fill up those times that you used to drink. Prepare to be doing something in those most difficult times… be somewhere deliberate doing something deliberate. Write up a really…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 5 days, 22 hours ago

    Bloody marvelous! Thank you for posting this.

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 6 days, 11 hours ago

    Hi @enzedgirl re “i think it’s also true that we get much more skilled at managing cravings” Yes, for sure! We have no direct control over cravings… they occur completely automatically and we can’t stop that, but we CAN change how we respond to them and we CAN to a significant extent manage how we expose ourselves to them. Both of these will h…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 6 days, 12 hours ago

    Hi @stepstosober You say “is there ever a time where the cravings are not daily?” Yes… definately they stop. We don’t manage to stay alcohol-free by getting better at beating cravings, we do it because the cravings lessen over time. Eventually thet get small enough that we can step over them without too much trouble then they fade to nearly…[Read more]

    • i’ve gotta say @daveh i think it’s also true that we get much more skilled at managing cravings or random thoughts … as well as the reality that they get much less over time

      • Hi @enzedgirl re “i think it’s also true that we get much more skilled at managing cravings” Yes, for sure! We have no direct control over cravings… they occur completely automatically and we can’t stop that, but we CAN change how we respond to them and we CAN to a significant extent manage how we expose ourselves to them. Both of these will h…[Read more]

  • DaveH posted a new activity comment 6 days, 12 hours ago

    Well done for managing to stop from going further. How you would be feeling today if you’d got drunk? Top result.

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