It’s Easter weekend and I am already measuring each day by the opportunity it gives to have a drink. I’m sat watching rugby knowing that I could easily finish the bottle of gin we have and am already thinking about how I am going to proliferate a lie about it. The irony is that I have really enjoyed this Good Friday after a very busy time at work, but have fallen into the trap I set myself at 5 this afternoon which was to enjoy a beer I deserved.
@Dave, right now you are noticing how your brain is already coming up with excuses for drinking the bottle of gin, AND your brain also told you to come to this community and post about that temptation. Sounds like you part of you knows to reach out before that bottle ends up gone. Great job!!! We’re here. One beer is just a beer, you won’t wake up hungover. But if you open the gin, I can see where that is headed. “Play the tape to the end” and really think about how you will fill tomorrow morning if you get into the the gin. Also, any good distractions to get you away from the temptation? Go for a walk, call a friend…. give yourself a 20 min break to really consider this.
So strange we think we are treating ourselves well by drinking poison, feeling like crap the next day and lying to people we love about it all… Just start where you are @Dave, get rid of the booze in the house, get some AF drinks, food and ride it out, stay on here, go to an AA meeting if you are up to it, just start. We are here. You are not alone. Hugs.
Hey @Dave. SUCH a habit of mine to *deserve* a drink at 5… and then keeping it going till 9:30/10 when I go off to bed, only to wake up at 2:30/3 feeling like shit. It is such an odd thing to think that bending our brains is something positive that we think we deserve. I admit… it’s a god-damned hard habit to break. But we can do it! 🙂
That’s what’s hard about moderating drinking @dave. We can always have more, and it’s such a habit, whereas not drinking – just isn’t. One or two is a massive, massive effort and mostly involved a lot of willpower for me, if I was at home. When I faced a long weekend I knew I could relax into overdoing the first night and for as many of the other nights as I could manage. Nothing changed, so nothing changed. Until I changed it. You’re sick of this cycle I think. It can be different. Take it gently today.
I’m in my usual Friday night ritual. Rewarding myself with multiple drinks for a week of hard work and giving to others. It’s unspoken between my wife and I but we both know it’s not healthy but we will put off fixing it until next week. Because we have both had a hard week and we deserve a night off. I would love to break the cycle. Because I’m drinking and she isn’t and although I am enjoying small buzz, I’m sober enough still to know that there must be a better way
Being aware of something being unhealthy and toxic for your well-being is a beautiful first step. Give yourself credit for having this awareness, and for taking those first action steps (joining a forum, etc.)
There comes a time when drinking no longer serves us, and you will know and feel when you’ve reached that point.