• Hey! So I have been sober since June 10, 2019. My sober date. I have no desire to drink. I was so tired of feeling foggy, groggy, depressed chasing the buzz. It go to the point it was never “oh I will just have a couple of drinks” I wanted to drink to feel a buzz then I would stop and go to bed. Not fun any more, not enjoying the drink. Today I am enjoying the clarity, less guilt and shame, more hopeful. No desire to drink- it feels easy.
    What I have done differently- I m accountable to one person and we talk daily-that helps a lot. I have been listening to podcasts non stop and I finally HEAR THEM. This is not easy, try something different. Do the work whether you want to or not. Do what people suggest. Enjoy the new way the new life. And I am.
    The SO is looking from afar and does not like it, I actually think he is getting depressed from it.
    But I’m seeing what alcohol has done for me and what it has taken from me-WOW.
    Ive started to commit for 90 days. Today is day 10 and Im really liking it.
    Thank you to so many who keep saying it is so worth it…

    • Fab positive post ….I’m Day 65 today and seem obsessed with devouring all the info that’s out there regarding quitting …..I’m loving the podcasts too ….Janey Lee Grace and also Love Sober have been great ….which ones do you recommend? ……

    • Well done @daisy! I like how you mentioned you are seeing what alcohol has taken from you. Even if alcohol does bring about those high high’s it often comes with soul crushing lows. Also, alcohol doesn’t only dull the bad stuff, it also dulls the good stuff. So glad you are feeling all the feels and enjoying your sober life. It really is the best way to live xo

    • And it is worth it @Daisy. xx alcohol isolated me, just wanted to stay in and drink till I hit oblivion.. totally numbed me.. no time for family and blamed stress.. this is a life time change now… I have the sober tools to deal with life… alcohol just distroys everything. xxx

  • Daisy posted an update 1 month ago

    OMG you guys are so amazing thank you so much for all your comments it has really inspired me I made it thru the day 1 today day 2. @DaveH thank you for the great ideas. I work log hours and last night I bought something to eat on the way home from work and that really helped to not walk in the door hungry-that’s my one super tool EAT. And I will not worry about weight right now it will all even out without the booze.
    Thank you all again for the great ideas and SUPPORT. Off to work feeling brighter and better and motivated to change:)

    • Good for you! What movie did you go see?

    • Eating was a super tool for me too. Actually, it still helps a lot after nearly 2 years. I was worried about gaining weight, but I’ve lost about 10 pounds little by little. We have to make giving up alcohol the top priority until we feel secure in the change.

    • Well done!!

    • Well done!! I swear by HALT. Keep it up.

  • Daisy posted an update 1 month ago

    Here I am again guys 2 days off one day on 2 days on ones day off. What a rollercoaster. But Im back like a broken record.Trying something different not sure what but please forgive me:).

    • @Daisy so many of us are in the same place. Important thing is you keep coming back. I’m still trying to get to day 10. One of these times something will click. So much advice and knowledge here in this group! Hang in there

    • No forgiveness needed, as you are back. Keep on keeping on the good road, @Daisy. You can do this. Set a goal for three days, then see how well you feel. I am only on day 6 and feel amazing compared to a week ago.

    • There is no forgiveness needed. You still here and doing it again. It is all part of the journey. I suggest doing as much reading as possible and checking in here daily at least.

    • Complete acceptance here. I had a million Day 1s. You’ve hit the nail on the head: you need to try something different. For me it was getting rid of alcohol in the house and having a solid plan for my trigger times. That included staying close to this site and listening to podcasts. You CAN do this. You’re not alone love. xoxo

    • JM replied 1 month ago

      Yes, no forgiveness needed @Daisy! I would get caught up in the cycle of guilt, despair and shame, and then keep drinking. Arm yourself w more resources – keep reading sober blogs (hip sobriety.com, thesoberschool.com, tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com has a feature where you can sign up to be the blogger’s penpal, helped me), and listen to sober audios, podcasts to rewire your brain. You can do this, keep checking in! xo

    • after you just give up, i quit, quit being tired, quit worrying about quitting, you feel this peace, so how do you keep the peace? i kept it by walking everywhere, through every store, every street, moving constantly, exhausted, could not sleep, sweaty, but it was not hot, every second of my body fighting back, releasing toxins, i welcomed. the healing process, really the best place to be, to know you are getting better. i listened to bubble hour, recovery elevator, i would even listen at night when i could not sleep, i just kept myself distracted at all costs. be well, friend, and welcome again.

    • JR replied 1 month ago

      @daisy – we don’t judge as we have been there. Just be sure to forgive yourself as shame is counterproductive to recover. Thankful you are here!

    • Nope. Forgiveness not required here. Just climb right back on board and face forward. Its a mother#@#!!! of a ride – but once you arrive, the scenery is spectacular. Keep going (and keep coming back here. The folks here are the BEST!) sending hugs from day 82.

    • You’ve just described what many people here say “I want off the rollercoaster!” One phrase is “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result”. Make a plan on day 2 for days 3 and 4. Instead of pre-planning to drink, plan out what you will do on the next day. Take a different route, eat early and often, keep an AF drink in your hand and drink it, binge watch tv, go to bed early, don’t waffle about will you drink or not. Not! Just to see what day 3 will be like. You can get off the ride!

    • @daisy maybe make a long list of all the things you will do instead, treats, sober toolbox etc I found having it to look at helps you remember other ideas when you’re feeling you want to drink. Walking while listening to podcasts is really helpful for me, I try to find things I can relate to in any story and there is always something. Also every day is a fresh start, be kind to yourself!! that was hard for me but essential. Glad you’re here

    • How about trying something radically different? How about you write up a plan for going a week without drinking? For each of the seven days plan out how you are going to fill up those times that you used to drink. Prepare to be doing something in those most difficult times… be somewhere deliberate doing something deliberate. Write up a really big list of jobs that need doing. If you need to prepare to do them (implements, tools, materials, etc) then get these prepared in advance so you’re ready to go at a moments notice. Attack the jobs when you start to struggle. Prepare yourself a treat for each day. Long, hot bath, movies, special favorite meal. Add in some type of vigorous excersize each day… brisk walk, exercise machine, whatever… The endorphins from exertion will help. Write yourself a list of where you will not go near… Places you used to drink, places you can buy alcohol, people you used to drink with. If there is alcohol in the house then tip it out as the first action on your plan. Add to your list how you will connect to others in recovery each day.
      If you can do one week then you get past the peak of withdrawal, and you know there’s not a single day of the week that’s beyond you.

      You can do this. It is not impossible, you just haven’t found the ways that work yet. You will, and it is sooo worthwhile.

    • Seni replied 1 month ago

      Everyone knows – you try, you fail, you get up and start again. But that ain’t a rollercoaster because it’s never the same again, every time there is a little change, even if you don’t notice. You learn. Your brain and your heart learn from that experiences and then there comes the moment when you are stronger than addiction. Try on, you train your power of resistance, it is not easy at all but it’s also not in vain! 🙂

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    @pattyw I right there with you lets support each other and stay strong-no drink today!One day at a time.

  • Daisy posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    OK. I am just throwing myself out there again. Day 1 again for the hundredth time and I am so ready to call it quits. Im so tired of feeling this way and desperate to stop. My anxiety and depression is worse and feel out of control on the inside but Im calm and collected on the outside no one would know what Im going through.I have to listen to what people are telling me to do starting with posting more. How are others doing?

    • If I can get to (almost day 6) anyone can! I’m finally getting control of my bubbles (drink of choice) voice and feeling a bit more empowered. However I wouldn’t trust myself in situations around alcohol right now. I’m just staying home where getting alcohol is incredibly difficult.
      Keep thinking about how good it feels to wake up without a hangover. I really enjoy my morning coffees now also. All the best xx

    • oxxxoxo
      It’s not your fault. It really isn’t.
      Nobody wants to relapse and feel depressed and anxious. If we could press a button to make it all go away, we would.
      I found that therapy helped me the most with my mental health stuff (also anxiety and depression) and I might try meds for a short while in the near future. But for now…therapy and this online community, the gym (swimming and walking, I don’t do hardcore workouts or group things there), and walks in nature…enough sleep….lots of water throughout the day.

      Some days it still feels like I am wading through mud….but it is like night and day compared to when I first got sober.
      It really gets easier the longer you’re without alcohol.

      Not all day every day, some days can be hard, but overall the line on the graph goes up and up and up, slowly but surely…one next best decision at a time. And those could mean “Instead of picking up that first drink tonight, I eat cheesecake.”
      I used sugar to get me through early sobriety. For a good 6 months.
      oxxoxo

    • A week ago I was exactly where you are now. Hang in there! In order to stay back “on the wagon”, I throw myself into all things sobriety. I binge listen to recovery podcasts, read sober blogs, snack, and recently decided I needed to engage more with the sober communities I have been lurking in for year. Just in my few posts here I have been amazed at the response and support I have received. It really has been moving. Meditation has become essential for me as well. And there are so many tips and tricks that work for others that I will be incorporating into my routine to see if they help. I have also learned though it is when I become bored or tired or annoyed with these healthy tools I have put in place that I know I must be most vigilant in order to stay AF. Sending love and light your way.

    • Post daily :)! A ridiculously effective sober tool. Glad you are with us!

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months ago

    Im moving on to day 5-not going to stop trying the more days away from alcohol the better I feel and Im getting too old for this it does not feel good.

    • You’re so right, @Daisy! I had to become over 40 years old to recognize, that enough is enough! And I found lot’s of people here, who start into a new live after 30, 40 years of drinking. Isn’t that wonderful and encouraging? You are on your best way!

    • Im with you @Daisy

    • Day 5 and onto your first full week! oxoxoxo Way to go!

    • Hi Daisy…62 years old here and on day 17 after 32 years of daily drinking. Just so grateful each morning that I didn’t drink the night before. I’m still working so it’s so wonderful to go to work each day now as my best self. Congrats to you!!! 🙂

    • Right behind you patty’s. 61 years old and on day 54. The only thing that quitting drinking has in common with a shitty hangover is that every second that you don’t drink, you feel better. So the longer you don’t drink, the better you will feel. The really awesome thing about that is that you continue to feel better and better every single day you continue not to drink. This sobriety thing is good stuff!

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months ago

    @Jaxisdry-Hey thanks so much for reaching out-Im on day 3 today was afraid to come back do not want to discourage others. You are doing awesome. I have to keep trying until it sticks.Do not want to carry on with the ups and downs. xoxo

    • Hi @Daisy don’t be afraid to come back what you are doing is hard, it is really hard. Do keep trying you can do this and you have more than 13 days experience under your belt. You have picked yourself up, now lets move forward AF one day at a time.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 13 off for the weekend with kids-feel strong and certain no desire to drink. Life is good.

    • Well done!! Great news & have fun. Do you feel great?

    • Almost two whole weeks!!! How did you do it? Feeling strong in the early days is pretty fortunate and very helpful for you 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • @Daisy hope your weekend went well. Life is so good AF.

      • @Jaxisdry-Hey thanks so much for reaching out-Im on day 3 today was afraid to come back do not want to discourage others. You are doing awesome. I have to keep trying until it sticks.Do not want to carry on with the ups and downs. xoxo

        • Hi @Daisy don’t be afraid to come back what you are doing is hard, it is really hard. Do keep trying you can do this and you have more than 13 days experience under your belt. You have picked yourself up, now lets move forward AF one day at a time.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @MrsD so sorry for your loss. Good luck in your speech-you were given a gift to spread to others, thank you for your hard work.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @Jaxisdry Hey Im right there with you Im day 12 and feeling good. Looking forward to a sober weekend, lets touch base on Monday!!!

    • Absolutely @Daisy sounds like your doing well. Our bodies will be loving the no poison. Mine is getting a sugar bashing though never knew there was such a thing as a sugar hangover

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Made I through my social occasion and watched others drink it was not a big deal but I do remember why I started drinking such a long time ago as a teenager -social anxiety. But now that I am a grown up I will learn how to get through it and grow up which I should have allowed myself to do years ago… I’m up for the challenge. Im feeling so good Day 12 and strong but really tired. Does the fatigue last long? I have to believe its my brain healing which is a good thing and or the sugar Ive been eating-either way its good Ill take it and the best advise I have had recently which has helped is to not be hard on myself. Make sobriety the priority, not my diet or my exercise or my cleaning…. So I am doing that . I do like to eat and exercise but if I’m giving myself permission to rest more , eat what I feel like and just enjoy the changes going on in my body. My brain is healing and my organs are flushing out toxins and I’M GETTING SOBER!!!!YAY ME!

    • Good for you, @Daisy. I love that you have a plan and are sticking to it. I think you are right about the fatigue. Your body is healing from all of the past abuse so you are tired. Get plenty of rest. Heck, I went to bed at 8:00 last night.

    • @daisy – I find being self-aware as to why we drank is vital to our healing. Good for you!

    • I think that’s right – getting sober is quite enough to be working on to start with. You’ll know when you’ve got the energy for working on something else as well xx

    • At my previous attempts I’d go in guns ablazin’ to exercise, eat well, and not drink. Didn’t work. This time, 356 days, I did the bare minimum to keep the house clean and the family fed. I used all my energy to be sober. The days were SOOOO long I could wash windows at 9 at night instead of putting the last touch on my buzz. I didn’t start even walking again until 3 weeks. It took you a long time to get here, a couple of months of rest to heal is very short in comparison. xoxo

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @Mari135 wow that sounds wonderful. Not sure how long you have ben sober but you are living right. And what a gift to get sober at your age because you have soooo much wonderful years of living ahead of you the best is yet to come.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Daisy!! They are much appreciated. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for a long time but am slowly coping better. Last night was a success. No worrying…no catastrophizing…just bliss in the moment. One slow step at a time, I reckon.

      oxoxox

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @winner made it but right will not do that often.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @js123 Hey thank you for your input. I ended up going and all went well. Really the smell of the drink was not enticing at all if anything I cringe with the smell or the though of drinking. Im in a good place right now but like you said will protect my sobriety and will not do that often-I did have to say no thankyou 2 times.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @gage I ended up going and Im gad I went. Funny I did not make a big deal of not drinking nor did anyone else but was asked a couple of times if I wanted a drink-no no, no, thank you…but will not do that often fr a while- prefer to meet a gym or go out for coffee.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @morgan No you are right they are not boring. And the drinking was not as much-a lot more sipping. The husband who was chiming in now and then was the louder, more drinking person. I concentrated on listening more and responding when I can really when drinking my mind is in a fog. BUT I must admit I believe I still have social anxiety…which I hope to conquer.

    • So you did it! Bloody anxiety. I was astonished at how much I had been suppressing with wine. Even 4 1/2 years later, with heaps of yoga, meditation, way less stress and grief, I will suddenly realise I am as anxious as hell – over something as pathetic as the family coming for dinner. My family… I mean, some one could get anxious about, but not many of them. Even the Living Sober meet ups reduce me to a jittery mess believing others will find me dull and boring, and I will do the wrong thing etc. Such a ridiculous pain.
      Do you have a plan for conquering it? I am studying it, as ironically, I counsel abused and anxious people, and will soon be doing so full time. Haha, talk about faking it til you make it. The wounded healer …

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 11 for me and feeling stronger. Have a night tonight of friends and drink. Here’s the challenge I will not drink but socialize and not drink I find it boring. So do I isolate and say I cant go??? My problem is not drinking there because I drink at home but its a strain to go and do this but if I keep saying no to friends then Im lonely.
    The other thing is I’ve done this before and then the next day or two feel the temptation after being around people who are drinking.
    Rambling on-guess I kind of know my answer-maybe too soon to socialize?
    But that makes me feel bad because I either decline events because I want to drink at home or I decline events because I don’t want to drink.
    UUG= I’m in limbo!!

    • I am just a few weeks ahead of you but had many of the same feelings which I am happy to say are getting much easier to deal with. I found exposing myself slowly and not drinking worked to dissociate drinking with the situation. This happened even if I struggled and it kept getting easier with re-exposure. The first couple of times I went out to dinner with friends and didnt drink (one of my biggest triggers), I was hyper aware of others drinking, was pretty miserable and wondered if Id ever feel different. Each time I went out for dinner, I had more and more moments of enjoying myself. I deliberately tried to go out with people I enjoyed beyond drink and where the food was particularly enticing. I realized last time I went out, I was way more into the food and conversation than being preoccupied with drink. Enjoyed the evening so much more than when I had been drinking even with a couple of craving waves. Funny how our experiences can turn around. Still dont like to go out where drinking is the main activity or with big drinkers. Moderate drinkers are easier to be with because I really don’t want the smaller amount they are drinking. Of course, if you think you might actually drink either during or shortly after- its too soon and itd be better to socialize in a different setting for awhile which you may find you enjoy more anyway. The most important thing right now is to build up time behind you not drinking. Slowly works best for me so I dont get too flooded with cravings. I found at the 4 week mark socializing got much easier. What a gift!

      • @js123 Hey thank you for your input. I ended up going and all went well. Really the smell of the drink was not enticing at all if anything I cringe with the smell or the though of drinking. Im in a good place right now but like you said will protect my sobriety and will not do that often-I did have to say no thankyou 2 times.

    • Hi @daisy It’s early days for you and you need to decide whether your sobriety can withstand the temptation of going out with friends and not drinking. However you also have to ask at some point in time whether your friends are so boring that you can’t bear their company without a drink of alcohol. Ask yourself what do I get out of being with my friends – and the answer of course is their friendship and their companionship and the pleasure you get being with them and the laughs and the tears and those feelings don’t need alcohol to be enjoyed. So maybe tonight cry-off and then next time when you’re feeling stronger go out with your friends and enjoy the evening sober. Many people here will tell you they’ve learned to socialise with friends alcohol free and it hasn’t damaged their relationships, in fact often in strengthens them as you re-find what you really liked about that person.

      • @gage I ended up going and Im gad I went. Funny I did not make a big deal of not drinking nor did anyone else but was asked a couple of times if I wanted a drink-no no, no, thank you…but will not do that often fr a while- prefer to meet a gym or go out for coffee.

    • Mmmm are your friends really boring? Is it possible to be with them the first couple of hours while they are not half cut, and have conversations? Find out how it is to relate to them without alcohol blurring the relationship? if/when they become repetitive and the killer drinking ‘conversations’ start, leave 🙂 Have a special treat at home, a bath, some self care, and go to bed clear headed, healthy, ready for the weekend of LIVING!!!

      • @morgan No you are right they are not boring. And the drinking was not as much-a lot more sipping. The husband who was chiming in now and then was the louder, more drinking person. I concentrated on listening more and responding when I can really when drinking my mind is in a fog. BUT I must admit I believe I still have social anxiety…which I hope to conquer.

        • So you did it! Bloody anxiety. I was astonished at how much I had been suppressing with wine. Even 4 1/2 years later, with heaps of yoga, meditation, way less stress and grief, I will suddenly realise I am as anxious as hell – over something as pathetic as the family coming for dinner. My family… I mean, some one could get anxious about, but not many of them. Even the Living Sober meet ups reduce me to a jittery mess believing others will find me dull and boring, and I will do the wrong thing etc. Such a ridiculous pain.
          Do you have a plan for conquering it? I am studying it, as ironically, I counsel abused and anxious people, and will soon be doing so full time. Haha, talk about faking it til you make it. The wounded healer …

    • Day 11 is early in sobriety and I must admit didn’t do much socialising around drinkers in first couple of months. Planned more brunch catch ups where other beverages were more common! ❤️

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @buckeyeone Im right there with you too.Here we come Springtime…

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @angiex !! Im right there with you on day 9 today-it feels so good and grateful.

    • @Daisy thank you ! It really does help to cement the decision each day when others are on the same or similar journey & giving messages of support x

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Day 9 and feeling good.Doing a lot of podcasts and working out consistently-feels so good.And catching up here regularly-love hearing people say how wonderful long tern sobriety feels and the short term pain, pull and struggles are worth plowing through to create your new path that is anxiety free, calm ,good sleep, less depression and so much more. I slept a solid 5 hours straight for first time in I don’t know how long-such a nice surprise when I look at the clock. xoxo

    • Well done @daisy! Those podcasts are life savers. In the early days I’d listen to at least one a day and read sober blogs. It helped tremendously to know I wasn’t alone and to learn from others. You’re doing great. 😊

    • Yay on day 9, and finding things that help xx

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    @grannie thanks you I did on to day 8 and a new week!!!

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Hi everyone -Happy Sunday! Day 7 for me again. I was at this same place a week ago and then I drank Sunday night. Will not do that today-need to be up early in the am but also just because I don’t want to.Ive been really reflecting a lot lately about my life and what I want it to look like ahead of me. And just listening to all these sober people about how much better it is without the alcohol physically and mentally-jus t not having this crutch by your side day in and out, its so tiring… Reading a lot of books and podcasts. Boy listening to the podcasts really make you realize you are not alone. And you can hear the happiness and satisfaction through their voices.So looking forward to my days ahead-wonderful workout routine, weather is getting better.
    Dotn want to ramble on about what Im going to do-I want to act upon it. Enjoy your Sunday and looking forward to a great week ahead.xoxoxo

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @angiex HI! Im just a few days ahead of you.Keep going I realize this is so hard but it can be done and need to realize it will eventually get easier and feel so much better. Stay strong.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hey Day 4 for me and feeling good. Glad I can post here with so many wonderful people making it happen.It helps to read when people say this is hard, its not easy and push thru it.That is the message I need to keep posted in my head.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @underthegreenoak Hey congrats on day 30. Whats next for you. I’ve been there and then caved. I have no advise because no experience but stay strong and sober:)

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    That sounds so dreamy…your boys are so lucky to have you present and accounted for.I hear you loud and clear.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Day 3 for me. Loving Mrs D’s post on facebook. What a strong woman she is and such a support to all of us. The smiling face of her dog tells it all.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @Ellislou thank you and you are right. this is my priority and I am excited about getting sober- so tired of feeling down and out. I love the Bubble Hour too. Also try Unruffled podcast-they are cute.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Today is day 2 and what am I doing different. Not going on a diet but eating well. Not running daily but adding strength training to build strong muscles.Reading Alen Carrs book “The easy way to control alcohol”.Getting my sewing machine out and handy to use whenever I want. Painting.Drinking lots of water.And writing daily on this blog. Being optimistic and excited about what sobriety can do for me in my life.

    • @Daisy such great insights for day two – well done
      The thing that helped me the most was for the first month or so I decided that my sobriety would take absolute priority in my life. I would wake up every morning and think the only thing I have to do today is not drink and if that meant eating lots of chocolate I did that if it meant neglecting my husband and kids to the bubble hour (a great sobriety poscast) in the bath I did that. If it meant buying every sober story on my kindle I did that- and it worked! In time I could ease off those thi GSM and start living my full life again and without alcohol so the absolute focus on just not drinking was so worth it. And being in this group and posting is the best help ever x x

      • @Ellislou thank you and you are right. this is my priority and I am excited about getting sober- so tired of feeling down and out. I love the Bubble Hour too. Also try Unruffled podcast-they are cute.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @jocord thank you that I will check it out and love to run:)

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @Classic50 thank you for these words. I just need to not drink and then maybe get some energy and determination to put in the effort.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @beehappy yes I have read both books and many more, I have another one coming in the mail. Will keep educating myself.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @Andria thanks-I know people say it is hard and I need to be aware this will happen and just move along.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    @Lee thank you-I know I need to take action-its not going to just happen.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    April is a great time to start=Day 1 again, first day of month and its a Monday. I love fresh starts like that. There is no reason why I should have any excuses to drink. Im so tried of this. I had 7 days a week ago and after a long day at work it was like a light switched on and to drink and I could not shut it off. The pull I had to drink was so strong its really scary. I don’t now how to overcome that. Sometimes all that is at my fingertips is food/chocolate and that makes me feel worse. I still need to remain anonymous in my community and cannot connect with AA for that reason. The weather is getting nice here and Im trying to make some rules like going for a walk when I feel like drinking and see if that helps. Or not allow myself to go home after work and stop at gym on way home. UGG. I need to do something different Iv’e been trying to quit since 2011 and Im older and I feel the toxins in my body more. Im scared Ill never get this chance in life to be sober and allow the growth and freedom so many people talk about in their life now that they don’t drink. Oh God please help me.xoxo

    • @Daisy you need to make a commitment to yourself and take action. Try Rational Recovery and AA. I do both but the key is finding something that suits you best. Stay here and check in often. You CAN do this!

    • I find myself on the same rollercoaster pattern. Like you, the light that I was absolutely determined would stay off, suddenly gets switched on. It is truly scary how our mind and habit takes over. Sending positive vibes and encouragement to you!

      • You can do this and you will do this Daisy. Keep going… Ive had so many day 1’s its crazy town but the day came when something clicked and all the strategies made sense. But success is homemade, every story is a s different as every person. Its about finding the mix that works for you. I relate to the pull, all at once like standing in a shower… for me things got better when I thought hard about what lead up to that moment… I found it was always the same thing just ‘dressed in different clothes’ as Oprah says.
        When you figure out what is unravelling in yourself that precedes the ‘pull’ it will help so much! For me it is coming under emotional pressure which triggered thoughts of bad feelings I wanted to escape from and when I found ways of reducing the pressure and took time to talk to myself and calmly see it for what it was it helped immensely.

        It can mean taking radical steps… but learn all you can about yourself and you will get there… we’re in this together!

      • @Andria thanks-I know people say it is hard and I need to be aware this will happen and just move along.

    • Perfect day for a day 1 ♥️. What worked for me at the start was to create new rituals and routines and plenty of treats. Go easy on yourself and have that chocolate if you want! Going out for a walk is a great idea. Have you read some of the books that everyone suggests? I think there is a reading list on this site somewhere. Two I found helpful were This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and The Unexpected Joy of being Sober by Catherine Gray. Xxxxxx

    • You’ve started Spring into Sober! “Running on Sober” has a free program for the month of daily video/emails if you’d like a little extra support.

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Day 7 for me today-waking up sober and feel good. So many happy successful stories about sobriety it helps to hear so many people talk about their good fortune. Heres to another week ahead.
    xo

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @Liberty-so inspiring!!!

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @AnnFromCanada nice job staying sober on Saturday night-me too and here we are waking up sober on Sunday morning. Lets keep it going another great week ahead-treat yourself today:0

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Thanks guys for all your supportive comments. Its amazing how many people out there are trying to get sober threw these blogs. Whether anonymous or not the numbers quoted on different sites are astonishing. Day 6 for me and I feel so good. Don’t know why I keep pouring that poison down my throat. I am determined all day until my SO gets home from work and if he is drinking there is the temptation. Its a bond we have had for sometime and tough to break its part of our relationship for 35 years. I know this is an excuse…! Im just trying to think of how I can get beyond those moments when I’ve decided to drink. I’m either on my way home or going out with friends and I either feel Im missing out or just want to get out of my head and chill. Im trying to prepare for this because just saying no is not enough. I know Im good for tonight-tomorrow night will be a challenge after work because I am off the next day. I feel too good right now and have not had 6 days in a row for a long time. I really want to give this a shot this time, for real.

    • Can you substitute a no-alcohol drink for the time being. I found that N.A.-beer was useful in the first week or so – I felt like I was ‘joining in’ and ‘relaxing’ but wasn’t reinforcing it with addictive alcohol. Some people say don’t do this, and white-knuckle it, but for me it was good and a couple of weeks later (day 24) now I can just as easily have a lemonade, and am learning better ways to relax.
      What’s interesting to me is that when I have an N.A.-beer, I only want one. Not another and another, as I did with a glass of wine, or a ‘real’ beer.
      PS I’m suggesting N.A.-beer, because they’re actually quite good whereas I understand that N.A.-wine is pretty dreadful! But of course, lime and soda, with a slice, also tastes and looks good.

    • Congrats on day 6 @Daisy and you CAN do this!

    • Really it just takes time. My hubby and I were drinking buddies for 25 years until it really interfered with being buddies. I stopped, he didn’t. But this is my journey not his. I white-knuckled it through a couple of weekends and poured AF drinks down my throat during trigger times. Sometimes I internally ranted and raved and stomped my feet but I didn’t drink. Now it doesn’t bother me. Occasionally I get ticked off because he chooses to drink when I normally would have. That’s because he’s removing himself from what I’d like to do but that’s a whole ‘nuther issue. I agree with @Lee, you can do this!

    • I’m just day 6 as well but I have a trick that’s worked for me in the past. I am also REALLY attached to my coffee. When I know I’m going out to an event that will be hard, I don’t drink coffee all day long and then by the time I get to the event I’m just dying for a coffee and I sit and drink coffee all night happier than can be. The down side is that it keeps me awake half the night but worth it not to drink and be hung over the next day. Hope there is something like that for you! @daisy

  • Daisy posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    OK. Here I am again but today is Day 5. I could not get past day 1 and felt phony all the time saying Im starting today here I come. But here I am and feeling strong. I hate this poison Ive been using and it made me feel really crummy lately which made me scared. I’m not as young as I used to be so don’t recover from alcohol as well.I really feel it is time and Ive been keeping my Rosary beads under my pillow for extra strength and thanking Mother Mary each morning-I love Mary. I bet she was a strong woman in her day.I want to make a real effort in this now and start feeling better in life and make some new connections and start living again. I feel so much better already.
    thanks for being here and always welcoming me back.
    Daisy xo

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    @Kerryjean47 just read your story-day 46 is awesome- I have tried many times too, I feel lie I have to just do it or stop driving yourself crazy with drinking and quitting.
    Glad you are liking your reflection, that’s a good sign.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    thank you @Kerryjean47 I do need accountability!! will be back on here tonight:)

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    thank you @aria I will stay close here people have told me that in the past and I never really got it-I kind of respond to a bunch of different blogs and is overwhelming-Im going to keep it simple-you are doing great.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    @dreamer88 awesome and I bet the dogs are loving the extra attention. Im in the US too looking forward to that spring weather.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    nice job @Sandyb day 23 I bet you are feeling great-share if you can how you got there-I will read your bio.

    • Hi @Daisy this is not my first try but I got prepared again, no alcohol in the house, I come onto this site each day if not more, I listen and take note of all help and send positive messages out to others. I also try not to think about never drinking again, just not drinking today!!! Hugs out to you.

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    @aria so happy for you. So much time to enjoy life in the authentic way it was meant to be.

  • Daisy posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Oh boy here I am again-struggling. Day 1. How do you all do it. It is amazing and listening to @Aria retiring and being in a spot where she is AF and can enjoy all the fruits of life. Im back again and will start blogging to you all again, it has worked for so many.
    However Im not sure I am using this site correctly if someone can help. I see peoples response to me but I have a hard time getting a regular conversation going with someone. It seems like when I get back on the site I see new people all the time and its hard to keep track of everyone.
    I’m going to try some new things. make sobriety my number one focus. Believe it or not cut back on my exercise and maybe do more gentle things like meditation and walking. Read more, go to church and connect with people in some way- take an art class. Those are just a few things to start AND post here very day.
    So today is my day one 3/14/19…:)

    • We all have a day one. For me every day is a day one in a way because that is all that matters. The day today I will not drink. Difficult at first but it gets easier. At first I connected here every day. Read posts and received help with difficult situations where drinking alcohol was available.
      Thinking of you. You can do it. Ask for help if you need it. Keep close here.

      • thank you @aria I will stay close here people have told me that in the past and I never really got it-I kind of respond to a bunch of different blogs and is overwhelming-Im going to keep it simple-you are doing great.

    • Glad you are here. I find posting, reading and responding to posts every day really helps.
      It keeps me accountable, reminds me why I’m doing this and inspires me.

    • @Daisy, way to go! Today is my day 1 again. I’ll do it with you, and encourage you.

    • For the first few years here I stuck like glue to the site every day @daisy. Even though there are new people all the time, you will get to know people as many people in the first few days/months/years do post frequently. It is possible have a conversation with someone if you respond to their post, and then they respond to yours, but people don’t necessarily sit by their device and respond in real time to responses they get. So in that sense it’s a little like social media – you post something and then some people will respond if and when and how they can. Others post something and you can respond; or not. Which kind of takes a little courage, I find, as we don’t get the instant response like we do in conversation. So it’s maybe not that you’re not using the site correctly, just that the mode of communicating doesn’t automatically feel comfortable? Give it time and try posting regularly and see how that feels. It can be very powerful to post regularly.

  • Daisy posted an update 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Here I am again-Day2. Not sure of when I will get off this roller coaster. But its a bumpy ride. keep using my SO as an excuse because he keeps liquor in house and drinks daily. Working hard and exercising-just cant seem to stop drinking. The scary thing is I feel its taking a toll on my body and all the eating right and exercise cant fix that.

    • It’s really hard when the stuff is in your face. I don’t think that’s an excuse; just reality. That’s why most people working on sobriety don’t hang out in bars. And, the other reality is that when both partners in a relationship drink, drinking can become the bond.

      • Well said! Drinking can in some relationships become the bond, excuse, crutch and enabler in all it’s ugliness ! ❤️

    • You are back here and that is good.
      I can relate to your feeling of being on a rollercoaster.
      I’ve been on it most of my adult life.
      Maybe this time both of us can get off it?
      This site will help you tremendously.
      From 1 day sober to years sober you can learn and find strength from them all.
      Glad you are here.

    • That’s got to be hard having liquor in the house while you’re struggling to stay clean. But you’re here which shows intent.

    • Hi @daisy I’m there with you. I’m on day 1 again. I feel like every second day It’s day 1. It seems like the more I try to not drink, the more I drink! It’s like my rebellious self says fuck it I can do what I want and I want to drink wine. Even though in my heart I don’t. Is that me, or is it what everyone calls the wine witch? I don’t know. But what I do know is I keep trying, I’m just not sure trying is working for me. I read, I listen to podcasts, I check in here daily, I’m really frustrated. When I had a wine yesterday I did notice it tasted like rotten fruit, so maybe something is working as I’m being more mindful. We just have to keep trying. Good on you for being strong and keeping on going.

    • Is it possible to ask him to keep his liquor in the trunk of his car or away from the household when he’s not around @daisy? If all that seems too hard, buy a simple lock and put all his booze in a cupboard and hand him the key for his key chain. (My two cts)

    • Hi @daisy, I can really relate to it being very challenging when partner drinks. I was saying to my husband that a show we were watching was triggering me, trying to share a bit more but said no I wasn’t going to drink. Well later he walks in with wine for himself, said he was just in the mood. Not cool! But you know what I almost feel stronger the more I do it when it’s hard. It really is for me and I have to remember he probably won’t ever “get It” but thank God you all do. Let’s do it for us.

    • Hang in there, keep reading, keep posting. The best advice I’ve come across is when faced with cravings, go to bed early. As early as you need to. This gets a lot easier. x

  • Daisy posted an update 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yes I am here again and on Day 4!! After a tireless vacation with many drinkers in another country. Not sure how I would have done it AF? So much of the time and money was spent around drinking. I left there feeling I never want to drink again so that’s good. Practicing gratitude today and every day.

    Also any suggestions? I’ve been following bloggers for some time. I’m always looking to load my toolbox. Always looking for a sign-this is the time it will work. People say you have to try something different if its not working. Many new programs that’s bloggers offer are popping up and some are very pricey-I keep looking for the magic help-which sober school I should sign up for or which pen pal should I pay for? This site is open and free for anyone and I respect Mrs D for that. Do you feel people have begun to take advantage of the addiction wave and making money on people? Im sure many are sincere and want to help others but it looks like this addiction crisis help/school is becoming a business??? Anyways my point is -is it really much more simple than what I am making It out to be? there will be no special day 1 or no special AF drink or sober treat that will save me and that it is really just about not drinking-no way never again # 1 priority-DONT DRINK. That’s how it works…

    • @daisy this site, podcasts and a few favorite blogs have been my ticket for the past 2+ years. That and complete acceptance that I could not moderate. Go with what resonates for you. Glad you’re here.

    • Day 4 is a tricky day for people because they start to feel better and that addictive voice starts calling. Plan every minute of your time to thwart that sneaky voice! I used bits and pieces of paid/free sites, this one a LOT, things I learned in AA, books, Youtube videos, TED talks, etc. it boils down to you and what works for you. There is no right or wrong way. You can’t buy your way to sobriety.

    • Lovely to see you back 🙂 Where have you travelled? Why did it make you sure not to drink?
      Interesting thought, people making money out of addictions. Sometimes the money thing helps people stop – it sure makes me go to the gym.
      (However, this place is not free – the Drug and Alcohol Foundation fund it – so I guess we kiwis pay via our taxes 🙂 ) but yes, great to have it available. Maybe we should do a koha if they ever threaten to withdraw funds. And perhaps we could appeal to overseas members to help 🙂 🙂 🙂 )

  • Daisy posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    @Rosey I can so relate and Im sorry you are struggling. My SO drinks too and it makes it that harder to stop especially when they are in denial that there even is a problem. I’m beginning to realize too I have to do what’s best for me and that will help others too. The better person we become-the people around us will get better too.Keep in touch.

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