I just listened to a radio interview with Gary Lightbody front man for Snow Patrol, who is 3 years sober. He refers to his song “don’t give in” which is about alcoholism and other references to life and getting sober. (RNZ National Sunday Morning Jim Mohr interview July 7) beautiful interview…it helped me hope it helps someone else too. big welcome to all the people who have registered today, starting even restarting is probably the strongest step to freedom…
You can do this and you will do this Daisy. Keep going… Ive had so many day 1’s its crazy town but the day came when something clicked and all the strategies made sense. But success is homemade, every story is a s different as every person. Its about finding the mix that works for you. I relate to the pull, all at once like standing in a shower… for me things got better when I thought hard about what lead up to that moment… I found it was always the same thing just ‘dressed in different clothes’ as Oprah says. When you figure out what is unravelling in yourself that precedes the ‘pull’ it will help so much! For me it is coming under emotional pressure which triggered thoughts of bad feelings I wanted to escape from and when I found ways of reducing the pressure and took time to talk to myself and calmly see it for what it was it helped immensely.
It can mean taking radical steps… but learn all you can about yourself and you will get there… we’re in this together!
That’s a beautiful story Seni! You have made my day… I’m struggling today and this post encourages me. A good place for the wine, making its way down the drain and out of your life! Greetings from a dark and rainy early NZ morning !
Hi, I’m happy about your comment – all the best for you! We’ve got a rainy spring day here and I will have a very strong cup of coffee right now. There are so many delicious kinds of drinks without the poison in them… 🙂
Me too totemdreamer. I have gone back too many times to count and what I noticed very clearly was that the crash and burn always turned on the same thing… emotional pressure, whether personal relationships, work or something else if my emotions triggered negatively I was in turmoil which ended with me using alcohol as a release.
This was so frequent it became embaressing to myself! Anyway when I identified that this was the problem i decided to do what I had read Mrs D did in her eraly days, she took on learning all she could, researching, using her journalistic skills to find out all she could about the lure, capture and kill that is alcohol. So I thought how can I lean about how to cope with my repeat cycle of triggers in a way I understand. On the way to work which is a 25 minute drive i began listening to TED talks… it was amazing, so many women with solutions about ways to change and learn and grow… I found the talks not specifically rrelated to alcohol the best.
“emotional mastery- the gifted wisdom of unpleasant feelings Dr Joan Rosenberg'”TED talk YOUTUBE
and especially “the gift and power of emotional courage” Susan David TED talk YOUTUBE- Ive ordered her book too, lol… so looking forward to it arriving.
We all have a differnt journey but with love and support we have to create our own ‘homemade’ recipe for living free…:) best wishes for today!
good on you for venting! You have a lot on your plate. It’s time to be your own best friend… Suek a contributor to this site wrote a great piece on just this subject. If you search box it , it will come up. Nobody behaves perfectly under too much emotional pressure. You have used the short term solution of drinking in the past and that hasn’t worked but think about something you love, something that makes you feel good and give it to yourself. Its so not easy, but also I think youd be surprised to find that your kids would really respond if you told them about the pressure youre experiencing, let them know how youre feeling about doing all this without acknowldegement … And treat yourself with the greatest of kindness and trust… you are you, there are not 2 ‘you’… we need you, your family needs you and work … well, if it knocks you around so badly to be there maybe take a day and recharge before you go back. Being sober gives you choices that drinking never could.
Much love to you and your family Mrs D. It truly is a grand day to be sober, sadness is free to have its true form when experienced with a clear mind and heart and body and then it can return to being the love it was born to be. Arohanui Mrs D
Thank you for your post! The analogy you made between your recovery and running is so good. I felt like I could see you and in that see me too. I’m day 2 after a terrible break and learning about the way you took charge after your 3 drink slip is just what I needed to hear today…I’ve come to the same conclusion, I just cant socialise in the same way I used to. But you turned that into 500 days!!!! that’s amazing, beautiful, stupendous! well done, hooray, what a winner. Be so. so proud and thank you for posting today:)
Thank you @classic50! You are starting on the bravest and best journey of your life. Everything that you gained from your last streak of sobriety you can put toward this journey and grow from it. The true joy that I feel from living a sober life is the best feeling ever. It doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but everytime I work through something hard I wake up stronger, happier, and feeling better than the day before. You got this xoxo
Thank you TipseyToeGal… you are a winner. This is a beautiful post…even lifting a coffee pot and being present in the action is an embrace with peace. There is so much to be grateful for when we live gently with ourselves and our world. thankyou for sharing your bravery and the light it brings…
I was really being pulled down by emotional pressure and just struggling to break the old escape default patterns when I got here and dug into the resources and got some tools …. just love this place of sharing! Thank you… all best to everyone on this journey, another day but not alone!
Hi Trace…sounds lovely having the rain falling in the night, if youre finding it hard to slow down make little stop dates with yourself… just 5minutes to see and feel whats in front of you. Caring for yourself is part of taking your power back! Be kind to yourself as you learn…all the best
Thanks Libertynow, im almost at 2weeks and after having NO pulls back to drinking all of a sudden Im feeling it now. Im not surprised though, I mean I knew ‘the pull’ would return but its still hard. Im focusing on the good that not drinking has brought already and just accepting that it is hard in the evening but the morning brings another story…Im glad you shared…thank you
Im with you on this. I must spent an entire year relapsing because every time Id give up another celebration, romantic night or something else would pop up and my husband not realising that drinking wine was a real problem for me would suggest a drink. I was too ashamed to admit what would happen after our ‘couple of glasses’ and so would crash and burn! This time around I owned up to the truth and explained it all and it has made a HUGE difference! Its unbelievable what a difference it has made. I love not drinking and although I’m just two weeks in, I’m just loving the freedom from the dread of what wine does to me. I wake up so happy and looking forward to the day. As a military man let him know that wine is like sabotaging everything… Best wishes…I know its hard but if you can make your home a peaceful haven i’m sure he’d understand thatxx
Sorry to hear about this hard time…it can really be tough when a friend is suffering like that. A really close friend of mine lost her husband and I remember how devastated I felt for her…its just HARD…. Keep going you’re on the winning track, helping your children and your close friends starts with taking care of yourself. Self care is how you take your power back…
Great planning for your night out! It makes a big difference to have an escape route mapped out. I’m enjoying Waitangi Day so glad its mid week….its a strange feeling but very comfy. Lovely weather her but heart goes out to Nelson and all the people effected by the fires… take care everyone and yes Happy Birthday Bob M you brought us so much humanity to celebrate…
You will make it. It takes time to heal , a long time. Nobody sets out to be a heavy drinker, it happens over time. Take care of yourself and as the wounds heal you will become her mum again. You will know waht to do… Her father will not win in the end, believe me Ive experienced it. Over time his naricissim will become obvious… but as you show change your daughter will see it, never ever give up hope. It will take time but youll be suprised… things change when things change. Just take care of yourself as if you were the most important precious person on the planet…you are!
Congradulations on making it through the first day. Thats a great acheivemnt, it takes courage even when we feel so shaky. I have just completed a week sober and I feel so differnt than last week when i woke up on a Saterday so full of shame and regret at what i had done. I have had many attempts to see this journey through, so many it became confusing and embaressing but this time it feels so differnt and being on this site has a lot, alot to do with that, so stay close, youll never face it alone here. good or bad…best wishes for day 2…
I made it…This time last week I woke up covered in shame and regret. Today is completely different! I can feel it, this time and this whole week has been a turning point for me, Thank you so much Dragonfly76, KathleenN, Timidwarrior, and sober4real because of the advice and support last Saturday when I was under the weight of my guilt and regret over what I had done…this time feels so different…thank you lovely people!