I had an alcoholic mother who died when I was 16. I have been aware I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for a long time. I have been inspired by Mrs D and want to be the courageous person she is, for the sake of living a healthy life in the best way I can.
be strong….it does get easier…honestly. It’s self-fulfilling – the better you start to feel and more you want to feel like that. Try some kind of distraction…go and make a cake, knead some bread, walk down to the end of the driveway, street, round the block…find something that will distract you when you have that thought. Hang in there!
I’m day 50. Feels like a milestone of sorts! Feeling good. I am not sleeping as much as I would like – but hope this sleeplessness will pass soon. I have started to feel political about the prevalence of alcohol in our society. Interestingly, in the context of the league guys who got caught allegedly snorting a ‘white substance’ in Canberra this week, one commentator said the most commonly used and abused drug in our society is alcohol. So TRUE! While I am not saying we go down the road of ‘prohibition’ – since I have stopped drinking alcohol – I have really noticed the prevalence of alcohol in our society. It’s everywhere – ads on TV, sponsorship of high profile sports teams, supermarket aisles positioned to ‘get you’ as you enter or leave, offerings at festivals and community events… it’s IN YOUR FACE…and I don’t believe it should be as much as it is. So that’s what’s new for me today – observing the world around us and how much ‘they’ WANT us to drink alcohol. Well done everyone who is here in this community – our sanctuary. Kia kaha
A lot of advertising is aimed at normalising heavy drinking. I mean the alcohol industry will not make it’s fortune from my husband (1 beer or less a week when I am not drinking).
In the 25 plus years I was not drinking I mixed with mainly light or non drinkers both in church and outside of church. It does not have to be part of everyday life and for many it is not. But sure not the message given by advertising!
That’s partially true. Alcohol companies don’t promote heavy drinking (that is against the advertising code) and they do actually adhere to this. Instead they promote the euphoria of where their product can take you on your third drink (a lot of psychology goes into this e.g music beat, lighting, tone) because they know that once you have passed 3 drinks, for the vast majority of the population (67% to be completely precise) this will lead to more than 6 drinks. This way they stay within the advertising code and get you to binge drink without actually promoting it.
And you said lots of good things there- imagine we would treat alcohol like we (now) treat cigarettes. How about that picture of liver cirrhosis on the front of a bottle of wine instead of a happy pink picture and slogan of “Mommy’s Juice” or “Cupcake” becomes a toilet filled with vomit and shame. Hah! That would certainly be a bit more true than the romanticized labels they are using right now.
@cherryjo Brilliant day 50! Totally agree. I’m feeling like I’m being drawn to actually DO something about this alcohol themed spells we live in. So watch this space! This forum is not concerned with legislation or the policies around alcohol which is quite right but I’m going to see what action I can take to actually make a difference. Have a great day.
Destiny…would writing a list help? Perhaps a list of all the things you want to be and do as someone who is successful at living sober…then take day 1…live it sober…try to love it and you, then start day 2…live it sober…try to love it and you and so on…you get the picture. Keep coming to this community too..it is FULL of good people who know your story..and will be beside you as you begin your journey
Im having wakefulness at night. If I wasn’t on a stressful project I wouldn’t let it concern me…however what I have found is that even if I am awake for some of the night…I still have unlimited energy the next day….way more than when I was drinking. Thanks to you all for sharing your stories …it so great to have this community to learn from. It is so great to feel free.
Day 15. Had a challenge on Saturday. I was on my own at home. Had been to an early movie…got home and had dinner. It was tempting to get a wine and have a drink…no one would know…Right? WRONG! I would know. I felt proud that I didn’t succumb and reminded myself how great i am feeling..that helped heaps!! I have told two of my friends who don’t drink too. They are my support AND my community here. Thank you all
I am only day 15 but have had the insomnia and took the great advice from others in our community and have been taking magnesium. Has helped heaps. I think having good routines is working for me. Big walks too. That helps me fit in the meditation stuff too. Keep going…you’re worth all the good way you feel when you’re sober…hold onto that feeling!!!
Hey everyone..just a question. I am only day 9, however I am battling a bit with waking up in the middle of the night every night. Did/does this happen with anyone else? I used to wake up in the middle of the night when I had been drinking lots…so one of the reasons I decided to live a sober life has been to remedy that 2am wake ups/sweats/heart racing etc. Any hints? I am totally enjoying being ‘present’ in my life and love this community. Thanks everyone for your words to each other – it really helps.
Hi CherryJo, yes I had exactly the same I’m on day 31 now and feeling heaps better. I think it takes a while to completely get out of your system, bear with it in a few days it will pass.. I used to take a big glass of water to bed and drink that when I kept waking up.. keep flushing it out…. well done on day 9 it’s bloody hard I know but you will feel better soon promise.. xxxx
All of your body systems will take a while to settle @CherryJo. Doesn’t mean you’ll be waking in the night for the rest of; your body just has a lot of healing and adjusting to do. You could try some magnesium to see if that helps?
I read this list of responses and feel a real warmth for the good people out there – being successful to overcome the hold (however big or small) that alcohol has over us all and positively taking action to make a change. Awesome all of you!
I will, I’m determined this time. Apparently it takes 21 days to help break a habit. So I am going to make it to that 21st day and then I will carry on. Well done for getting to day four. Those first few days are the hardest for me. Until the silly brain pipes up with ‘you’ve been so good, a nice wine would be a reward for that!’
I have made it through my first alcohol-free Friday night. My husband and I went out for dinner. He drank the remnants of my last bottle of wine at home before we left and drank during dinner. I found that difficult— but perhaps not quite as difficult as I had imagined. I feel lucky because 4 of my best friends live sober…2 of them, because of health and religious reasons, and the other 2 because they feel they had unhealthy relationships with alcohol (like me). I know I will get some good ‘on-the-ground’ support from them and from this community. However, I did feel unsupported by my husband tonight. It it realistic of me to expect that he should have gone alcohol-free to support me for my first ‘outing’? Have others felt they needed that support from their partners?. I felt a bit grumpy/resentful of him actually (because I do feel he also has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol). But I feel very proud of me though!!! And is waking up in the middle of the night part of this process???? It’s 4.30am and I feel wide awake! Happy weekend everyone.
I’m in the same boat. My husband is a heavy drinker. He doesn’t know i am as well but you can’t think about his drinking. Only your own. You are surrounded by Alcohol so whether is in our house or not doesn’t matter. Its a close as a drive down the street for you i’m assuming. Again don’t think he isn’t supporting you . You have the support you need right here. I’m quitting soon too and so happy for you.
Support in any form makes us feel good. It validates our decision. The more support you have around you the better. getting sober can sometimes feel a bit selfish, we aren’t used to being our own fan club, but it is a big key to success. Cheer yourself on, reward yourself for each sober victory. Focus on the fact that YOU didn’t drink today!
Yes I feel exactly the same. My husband drinks every day, a couple of beers. He is reluctant to stop as he says he never gets drunk he can just have a couple which he can, but I find it very very very hard to stay stopped because of this. It’s the snap of the can opening that drives me insane. I can be absolutely fine and not craving a drink, but as soon as I hear the beer can pop I feel I’m missing out. Hoping this time sticking with it will make it easier the longer I go on.
Dear @spilly, that kind of association (with the “snap”) is difficult! Can you perhaps make that your signal to take some time out to review all the benefits of staying alcohol free that you have experienced that day, and also the time you get to experience/plan your treat?
I always find it a struggle that my husband drinks. I feel like if he stopped too I would have remained sober a long time ago. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me putting the blame on someone else. it is just so dang hard watching him drink. He is out of town for work a lot so it is only a couple nights a week but when he drinks he really goes for it. Most of the time getting drunk.
Hi @CherryJo, the thing I’ve found surprising , and wonderful, is finding out that a number of people I know have also quit alcohol (two of them for 6 and 9 years respectively , and I never new) . Most drinkers I know understand and accept it, but it is gold having the people I can talk to that truly get it. Even just knowing others are living sober helps me. It took a while for my decision to bed in at home because it was quite a major change for me . My wife was supportive but a little perplexed about why I felt the need to quit. But slowly it has rubbed off on her too . And now it’s not a frequent topic of conversation as I’ve become more comfortable with living sober. Alcohol is seldom even visible in our home and my wife rarely drinks , and when she does it’s usually at a work thing and she hardly has any . Your husband may slowly make changes with your example. One thing I live by is not to have too many expectations of other people . That way you’re never disappointed . Anyway , good luck with it all…
Hi cherryJo.. When I gave up booze the first time a few years ago.. my husband then hit the drink like you wouldn’t believe, I mean a lot more than when I drank. he said it was me with the problem and why should he help.. that made me so mad and resentful.. but I did feel stronger when I had a few months of sobriety and he felt shit lol… My (currant lol) husband and hopefully the last is so supportive he hasn’t had a drink and won’t because he wants to help and it does. Sleep will soon sort itself out and you’ll be feeling better…. take care xx