• Ata marie ki a koutou / Good morning everyone. I’ve had an extended break from the members feed but have been enjoying back on here again this week. I think in the earlier days I would reach out for support from other people by posting on here, whereas now I feel like I gain just as much support from reading other’s posts and replying to them by sharing my experiences. Maybe that’s part of the journey? A shout out to @bondi, @Prudence, @Normaleelucid, @Marmite, @Janus2, @Tom4500, @enzedgirl, @Agent99, @oceania, @Temperance, and a friend from the south who I think may have have changed their handle name, and the many others who I have probably missed, thinking of you all and a big thank you to you all for being a huge support to me since I joined this place. Can’t believe I am at 2 1/2 yrs sober now. Holy shit what a ride it’s been. Arohanui ki a koutou xo

    • Kia ora e hoa, nice to see you here. I’ve also been away from the site, but feeling drawn back again to support and share with all the amazing sober warriors on here, no matter where in the journey we all are. 2 and a half years sober, yee har, go you super star xx

    • 2 1/2 years sober is so inspiring. I for one really appreciate the advise and support from some of you “long timers”

    • Yes, I’m just getting back in to it too after being overseas for several weeks. It takes a bit to reorient but once you start reading the Sober Stories and the members feed it, doesn’t take long before, you’re feeling right at home. Ata po ki a koe Treehugger.

    • Reading the posts of those that have been in it for the long haul helps me out so so much. Amazing, I can’t wait to be 2 1/2 years sober too. 🙂

    • Hey there @Treehugger good to see you and thanks for the shout out. I’ve been off site for quite a while too while I went overseas and haven’t got fully back into it yet, been a tad busy. Me and Normaleelucid hit 5 years tomorrow Yee Haa! Have a glorious fun fabulous weekend xoxo

    • @tom4500 and @enzedgirl – Sorry I did reply to your replies earlier but lost them when I had to delete and repost because I couldn’t edit a mistake I’d made…anyhoo, yes a get together sounds awesome, and @tom4500, I love to weed when it’s been raining cause I reckon they are much easier to pull out! 🙂

    • Great to hear from you @Treehugger xx

  • janus2 posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    Ya know right now i want to turn to old timers.@tom4500 want to bawl..@mrs-d @bondi @prudence @marmite @enzedgirl @morgan @pearl @seizetheday @trace @liberty i need help big time, i swore not to come on here, as been so good. Now not, not drinking, cant sleep, wana drink.. keep crying.. 2 of you know why. Now i have no life.. no goals..no place to call home. In my head am going.. cant believe was such a dick..just keep crying regardless of double meds I’d stashed.

    • Don’t know you Janus2. But sending you love. This too shall pass.

    • Hey you precious thing. I’m so sorry it’s all awful. I wish I could wrap you up and just put you in my pocket for a wee bit.
      I’m trying to piece things together as to what’s happening. Please please please just sit tight right now my dear. I understand why you’d want the relief of booze to block it all out. But don’t add more mess please my dear. You are hugely precious to us. There’s people that need you, and things still to be done in your life that you need a sober brain for. Hope you can reply soon xo

    • Hey hey our Janus what’s going on hon? I know things have been very tough recently but this sounds like something else has happened – a turn for the worse? Thinking of you darl, don’t drink, it only makes shit much shitter.

      @morgan @prudence @mrs-d !!!

    • Big hug to you from across the globe, @janus2.
      Xxxooo

    • @janus2 big hugs lady.

    • Hold tight @janus and look after yourself. Make yourself your top priority, lots of self care. Lots of love , hugs and strength from me to you hunxx

    • Here too thinking of you. xx

    • Sorry things have taken a turn for the worse @janus2. I am holding positive thoughts for you and hope something great happens for you shortly. I have missed you and your posts!!!

    • Ring me again when you wake up @janus2 and we will try together to find something positive in this appalling situation. I’ve never in my life known anyone who goes through so many extreme challenges as you do. The only upside to that is it makes you one he’ll of a strong lady, even when your heart aches real bad. Thank you for reaching out to us, we are your friends. Don’t you forget that. There is a way through this. Big hugs and much love and tenderness and care. We are all here for you. It is OK to spill it all out on here. A Bude shared is a burden halved as my dear departed Mum used to say xxx

    • burden

    • @janus2 – I’m so sorry to hear you are in pain. Not sure why you swore not to come on here, but we love to hear from you. Glad to hear you haven’t drank because if there is one thing I know for sure, drinking alcohol doesn’t help any situation. Happy, sad, angry, grief, regret – none of those emotions are helped by having a drink. Hang tight lovely xoxo

    • Can only imagine what’s up, Janus but I’ll tell you this…everything seems the worst right after the storm. And, everybody is a dick sometimes, so don’t kick yourself too hard for being human. It doesn’t feel like it, I’m sure, but already you’re picking up the pieces. There’s lots of us around who love you, including the little ones we’re all so fond of. Give it a little time. Things will work out.

    • Sending love to you @janus2! I don’t know what’s happened. You light my world from afar. xoxoxoxo

    • Oh f%$ing hell @Janus2. I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain. Call Lizzi!

    • I’m so glad you posted @janus2, you know there are so many of us who want to be there for you when things get rough. I’m just so sorry sweetheart that you are going through it all again. Yup we’re all dicks sometimes, go easy on yourself please. Easy to say I know. Keep posting if you can. Lots of love xxx

    • @janus2, you are much loved! Keep posting please, this community is here for you as much as it ever has been. Big emotions coming at you but you have built your sober muscles so hugely over the past few years so you can weather this storm. Dig deep lovely, big hugs x

    • @janus2, remember the goat track? The mountain. The view? The fresh air. Never, ever give up. It’s ALWAYS worth it. You’ve got us goats walking with you. Aren’t we a bunch? Wiry, resilient, resourceful. Kooky. Slightly weird and wired. We love you. Be brave xxx

    • I’ve got a little ditty for you. If emperors run the empires, and kings are in charge of kingdoms, then who runs the countries? I don’t much know what to say when you are distressed but I’m here to say you are very valued and special to many. Take care and accept the help being offered by all the wonderful people here. xxxx

    • I’m glad you came here. You always have us xx

    • Keep reaching out darling Jane, we’re all here for you xx

    • Wtf. Love you, dunno what happened but love you and want so much for you to be feeling well and happy. 💚💚💚.

    • love to you, @janus2

    • Hope you are okay @janus2 – you have a lot of support. Just hang in there! Sending positive vibes your way.

    • I bloody love you @janus2 from a big old distance – so sorry things are horrible and tough. All strength and positive thoughts to you. Keep going, breath by breath…and we’re here xx

    • Good god hon, missed this – look at how far you have come already – like in two, no, three days. There will be horrible hours and days – I know this all too bloody well, both situations apart from the extra violence laid on, both so long ago, but there are times when it is pretty overwhelming. (Thank god for brain-take-over training) XXXXX Grab all the support you can, from wherever/whoever is caring – and come down if you can or want to XXXXX have bed

  • janus2 posted an update 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @bondi boo

    • Lovely to see you in here @janus2, how are you going lovely? x

    • Boo back at you too. So sorry about mans son. I hope he will be ok and you are able to be with your man. He has always been so strong for you and I’m sure you will be there for him. I am a bit lost as to where you are geographically, I’m a bit hit and miss with social media. Are you finishing your teaching job? Is it a holiday you have on hold or a move? Take time to look after yourself. Sending big hugs. Xoxo

  • The gift of sobriety is a great provider. It is a giver of friendship, of laughter, of curiosity and questions and answers, of warmth and humour, of connections growing deeper, of time spent with music and food and many conversations. Actually the first night here the lounge room sounded just like a public bar. All loud and excitable, cross conversations, raising our voices to be heard over one another. Hillarious if I stood back in the corner for a few minutes, which I did, and just listened. The rest of the time I wouldn’t know coz I was probably talking!! Tonight we played lots of different youtube tracks, everyone’s favourites, a nice wide diversity of music, it was so cool. We also played the old Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here for those of you, too many to mention you all, but @Wildchild and @Liberty who were at our last gathering and are missed, and @Mrs-D and @Normaleelucid @song-bird and @Ro and @Timidwarrior and @Winner and @Reena and @Mari135 and @Tipsytoegirl and @Iowadawn and @bondi and @Jules and @Treehugger and @Agent99 and @Mac007 and all you beautiful people I’ve forgotten…well yes, that old song was for you all. I’m pissed on chocolate and cheese so I can’t be expected to remember everyone! There’s 14 of us here and it is all so relaxed and easy and warm and flowy. Tomorrow @emjaycee is coming over in the morning, always a treat to see him, hope he brings his guitar and gives us a wee tune.
    Will be sad to say goodbye to everyone tomorrow but so happy they all came, and laughed and cried and ate and talked and shopped!!! Akaroa’s annual Harvest Festival was on today with music and lots of stalls of great local stuff, in a beautiful setting of an old mansion with a sloping lawn and fabulous gardens. Everyone is now all tucked up, the house is quiet and I am feeling lucky and blessed for a thousand reasons, but mainly because I gave up booze and live a life now that I once would only have dreamed of. A life where I am my true and…[Read more]

  • Good morning brave hearts. I’m sitting up in bed in my own very cool brand new little apartment below @Normaleelucid ‘s house, that she has had built herself by converting half the large garage. A fun afternoon yesterday with a couple of rather extravagent little purchases at a mall on the way home from the airport. I love to shop in other cities, it just feels right!! One of the tops I got is so gorgoeus and I can hardly wait till it’s cold enough to wear it……but I guess I better be careful what I wish for. Beautiful weather here. We went for a gorgeous walk after dinner with her wee doggie Lachie. It’s so lovely to be here and catch up properly, loving it. Time to get up now and get ready for another little flutter around some shops, some good second hand ones as well, then off to Papamoa to meet @Bondi and @Jules for lunch. Haven’t seen these ladies for nearly 3 years since I was up here for a small gathering at a big flash house on Lake Rotorua with @MrWTF @Drydash and @Michelle and of course @Normaleelucid and oh yeah what a great time we all had then. Hope you are all giving the piss a miss today and feeling proud and wise and brave xoxo

  • Jules posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Yay @Prudence we ( @Bondi and I) are certainly are driving over on Thursday to catch up with you both. I’m really looking forward to seeing you again and having a bloody good catch up. xxx

  • Getting excited here coz I’m off on Wednesday to see @normaleelucid up in the Bay of Plenty. Had the tickets for months and it’s finally come around. Yee Haa! Hoping to catch up with @Bondi and @Jules while there, bunch of old timers we all are!!! Hope you are all having a good day. I am on a fast today, I’ll let you know tomorrow if I made it past dinner. At 8pm it will be 24 hours. Surely I’ll be skinny in the morning!! haha

    • Have a great time together, I remember all of you as being so supportive to everyone xxx

    • @prudence have a blast! Let me know if you lose all those unwanted pounds in 24 hours! hahahaha!

    • Oh, gosh you are surely going to give our lovely @janus2 a conniption fit with that kind of talk, haha. But let us know how the fast goes anyway:). I’ve been doing this eating plan for a week and it seems like my jeans are starting to fit again. Will know when I get home if I actually lost any weight. Have fun, I would love to be getting together with you fine ladies.

      • And we would all love to have you here @Robynb what a treat that would be. I’m having some onion soup out of a packet with all the wee flakes strained out of it. Not sure if it’s against the rules or not, but I make my own rules, and they say they are made for breaking anyway. I think it is more the ritual of having dinner that I am missing. Yeah I’ll let you know if anything works xxx

        • So you did do it! Go you. Hope it makes you feel better as well as setting your metabolism on a new path. I really miss the ritual of dinner too, but a few times with keto have simply not been able to contemplate eating anything. Such a change. However at present I am in the opposite phase, wanting to eat to try and be calmer, or something? A bit low, then horrible work, so agitated… Lucky you, HOLIDAY!!!!! Big hugs to all up there.

    • Yay @Prudence we ( @Bondi and I) are certainly are driving over on Thursday to catch up with you both. I’m really looking forward to seeing you again and having a bloody good catch up. xxx

    • Sounds like a great time, @prudence!

    • Bahahah love it! Skinny in the morning. I have been thinking about fasting for years. So far, the plan hasn’t gone past that stage hahaha. Respect to anyone who has that kind of self-control. It’s supposed to be really healthy for you.
      Have so much fun in the Bay of Plenty!!!!! I’ll have to Google that and add it to my list of places to tour when I backpack through NZ some day. I bet like all things NZ it is mindblowingly beautiful. Two friends just got back from being on both islands for 3 weeks and of course they LOVED it.

      oxoxoxox

  • elhall posted a new activity comment 4 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you @Bondi.

  • janus2 posted an update 6 months ago

    @marmite just thought i would post as u and i nearly at 2 yr mark, fark me lol. Went to see my A&D councellor today, yes still after 2 yrs lol But most got out of it was this, yes @prudence @endzedgirl @bondi and others plus newbies. We talked about how strong is my resolve to stay sober and yes i said its there i could drink again, despite fact my relationship would be down gurgler, ability to work down the drain, bipolar and mania hit with vengence, probably hospital visit!!! I found it interesting, with her saying there are always triggers in daily life, specially with me working fulltime for 16 ws. I said thats the reason why i still see you and yes am luckey, yet again with councellor, who believes in me and ability to work through this issue. I thinked i would ne fucked without a councellor yes been seeing them since 18, now 44 coming up 45, and really no break, yes different ones and all have been fab. Anywhoo just thpught it interesting my thought process, lol she sent me for blood test. Crak up she said your liver function not too hot anyway, but lets check B12. Jesus wept lol if i owned a pub i would drink the profits, even now . We spoke about antabuse which still on, and that takes away the fact i am not/can not acknowledge my triggers, no matter how small. My triggers arent boredom or loneliness but something a little more in depth then that aye. I am not/do not get bored,as i fill up my day, i niw do not get lonely, so what could it be, for fucks sake i dont know lol. Not even at times does the thought of seizures in my withdrawal, does not say pick up.! Just find it wierd as i am a well educated with a career or 2 up my sleeve plus working towards another plus pretty articulate. What do ya reckon also @morgan and @noelle. Anyway its cooled down time for fatbums slow walk. Man here tonight, camping tomorrow lol and fatbum has her own puptent. Really should be geriatric tent, poor bitch. Peace out.

    • Ooh @janus2 you are so cool! Big congrats on that 2 year mark. Always a fab inspiration for me and god you do make me chuckle often which I have really appreciated after a hard day. Enjoy weekend. Hope fatbum has treats in the pup tent! ❤️❤️

    • Not quite sure what the queston is @Janus2 but I am assuiming it is “why do you still have the desire to drink after all this time and when you know it will ruin you life as well as probably end it fairly quickly?” Good old blunt old @Prudence eh!!!
      Well my answer is probably not helpful. My answer is that we probably all have a latent desire to drink. Just coz we gave it up doesn’t mean we don’t still crave it sometimes, crave it fiercely even, sometimes. I do. Giving it up means we are super smart waihines, tough, stauch, brave, wise, fricking awsome. Our intelligence made a call to live a better ife and reap the rewards of that better life. Our intelligence tells us we would be shit arse dumb bitches if we started it up again.
      Our wisdom tells us that cravings dont’ kill you, they are put there to remind you that you need to stay on our toes, keep working on ourselves, do not become complacent. What you are doing by seeing adn talking with your counsellor is being vigilant, being honest, reaching out, acknowledging the desire is still there, but also empowering yourself at the same time. Re-inforcing to yourself all you would lose if you were to take it up again. I personally think you are propbably the biggest hero on here, you and @Iowadawn and @Ellislou and @Ro . All of you, and many others too, I know, have had such huge adversity in your lives since I have known you, I take my hat off and bow at your feet, all of you. You are a survivor @Janus2 , you do what you need to do in order to surviive. And if you get 4 or 5 weeks into your teaching job and feel overwhelmed about the other 12 still to go, you speak up, no one will die if you asks them to find someone else. Just know that going into it. Don’t worry about it now, whatever way it feels it is all going to be okay. Hae a cool time with your lovely man camping….does he wear his supermarket undies around the campsite? xoxo

      • Lol yup pretty much what you all said, little scared of relapse. Yes your right @prudence can say too much work. I think the thing that got me thinking was at last school just finished at principal asked me to do whole school swim teach from 1.30 then do privates. Its like yes i do but then its like shit i also need my time for my so impirtant exercise before early march when i start fulltime. Antwhoo councellor got me thinking. Gunna bring it up with man lol in our farkn tent and see what he says. Thanks all. Xo

        • Good old Prudence and her wisdom @janus2. I too take my hat off to you, your struggles have been great and you have managed with determination and your sick humour, plus Fatbum and your amazing man. I know it would be very easy to pick up a wine, but I know I won’t because I won’t give up all the wonderful things and people I have in my life now. Enjoy your camping and keep doing what you are doing because it ismworking and we love you and we need you here. Xoxo

      • Thank.you @Prudence your words mean so much to me

    • Oops too scared to edit it, so I hope you enjoy working through all the mistakes, probably only about as many as your post hahahaha

    • @janus2, congrats on getting so close to two year mark. interesting that you are talking about triggers. I cannot identify mine, I just know that I could easily just find myself one night just sipping on the beer and then sipping some more the next night and then my doctor would say again… let’s just check your liver. and then a few years would past and then i would hate myself some more and then i would have the same life that just wrapped around when i would get the next drink. when you look at day one to your day today, life different? i have been here just a short bit. have a great day.

    • You get to two years and there’s some satisfaction looking back on all the hurdles jumped. And you’ve had to jump more of them and higher ones than me I’d say. Sure has been great having you around, Janus and I think those schools are fortunate to have you. I’m jealous of the camping, we have our first trip of the season reserved in a Michigan state park in May, on the shore of Lake Michigan. Nice park. I’ve been thinking lately that the window is starting to close on my wilderness canoe trips. Don’t like to think that way though. It’s incentive to try to stay in shape. I’ve been saying I’m getting to old for it since I was 50, almost sixteen years ago.

    • Freakin’ love you @janus2 and your honesty. My date is 13.3 and you were what a week or so behind? We are 2 batshit sober superstars to be approaching 2 years no booze! xx

  • morgan posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    Hey, @bondi , @treehugger and …?

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    how did the get together go @bondi ?

  • janus2 posted an update 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    I think i might be a bit, oh i dont know? Aware others have moved on @quietlydone @soberlynn @jessi @ms-penelope-dropped @mac007 @bondi @jules @seizetheday @normalucid lovee yyou all it dont pop up with your names so hope its right. Love to all of you.

    • Hey @janus2 – I put a post for you just a day or 2 ago. I’m still here. Not several times a day, but quite often lately. Hope you’re still doing well. Happy New Year girly! 🙂 (Hearts & Hugs-Jessi)

      • Omg there you are! I still love ya to bits, you are so often in my thoughts lol how wierd is this when i am swim teaching!!! Hopr yourboys ate mighty fine as are you. Lovr to you my friend.. tehe sending up prayers. God dam we have to meet one day xo♡

        • I was so happy to see you are swim teaching again @Janus2 – I hope you work with better people now. My boys are wonderful still! And yes, I still plan to make it to your part of the world some day!

    • @normaleelucid – yes, missing you XXXX and the others too. Nostalgia for the old days. Hi Bondi and Jules – Bondi pops in occasionally Janus. But where are you our treasured, beloved @Quietlydone?

    • Ahoy there @janus2 I keep a quiet profile, but I’m very much with you all and still staunchly sober. I keep up with your news and continue to be so very proud of you, you lil star you 😊

    • Hi little buddy @janus2 Busy time of year with family staying, I check in quite often to keep up with you. I love your posts, almost always brings a smile. I am also proud to know you and look forward to catching up soon. But where is our @quietlydone?? xoxo

    • Hey @janus2 I’m here lots still just lurking about. But since updated site I don’t get email notifications anymore.
      I’m doing alright thanks, currently lying here listening to a mozzie in the room that I can’t flippin see to kill!
      I’ll have to go into settings and see if I can suss out my email guff. You’re such a beautiful soul thanks for the thinking thought xoxo

  • janus2 posted an update 7 months ago

    @bondi merry christmas my friend. Xo♡

    • Thank you my little buddy @janus. I am very blessed to have all my family with me now until end of January. Lots of fun in the sun and ocean for us! Hope to catch up with Charlie emjaycee and treehugger at Ohope in the new year. Funny I had my first drinking dream after almost 1500 days wtf is that!! Anyway it only strengthening my resolve to never let that poison into my life again. I am a wee bit behind in the happening here but know you have sold property, where to for you now, off to Golden Bay (equal in beauty to eastern BOP!) another teaching job? Please don’t take on too much, have a wonderful Christmas and don’t let family stuff it up, take good care of you because we love you and need you here. Xoxo

  • janus2 posted an update 7 months, 1 week ago

    Brief whinge! Farkn principal debating a report i wrote bout board of trustees kid ha put her in place, she just dnt want backlash! Pisses the fuck out of me. Hpung its hot tomorrow as kids had wet n wild on Tuesday and my class absolutely drenched me with 2 buckets, at 11, spent rest of days wet! Planning my revenge for tomorrow, could be 21 kids blindfolded and water ballonover 21 heads. Over school and silly passive aggressive teacher. Anywhoo, time for horse tranqs lol @bondi and watch pine gap on netflix. Peace out. Hey how are you @Ange merry xmas you xo

    • hahahaha it sounds like you have a good sense of humor to work with kids!

    • oxoxoxx Oh school politics….sigh. Just know you’re an experienced and capable teacher, who knows how to work with kids and is still going strong after all those years when others burn out within the first 5 years of being in the field. (serious issue in most countries with teachers….) You got this. Thank you for all you do for those kids, including healthy boundary setting and a strong discipline plan. Out of all teachers I ever had, we all respected one who was both compassionate and kind, yet also strict and having high expectations of us.

  • behind-the-sofa posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    All good thanks @Bondi …….. just listening to some music and doing some art…….. xoxo

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    actually @mrs-d sorry to bother you- don’t worry about it, i found @bondi ‘s email address 🙂

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    wowee OMG i’m so happy @bondi !

    give me a rough idea of numbers when you can. do we have each other’s email addresses? @mrs-d i’d be happy to share email addies with @bondi if she’s also cool with that. tbh i think we had them before re the Whangamata get together but my hard drive shat itself a couple of months ago and i lost everything.

    hey @ladyhawke@bondi is one of our lovely BOP members 😀 i wonder if there are peeps coming up from your area that might make it feel more do-able ???

    i’m gonna need to book a big table 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Sober4real posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    YAY @Winner and @Bondi ….thank you. It’s good to know I’m not the only one that had time and got the dumb idea in the sick diseased brain of mine that it was the only option to fix the pain I was in at the time. There is nothing in this world, good news or bad that a drink will ever make better.

  • janus2 posted an update 8 months ago

    Mmm need to get mixture of thoughts out here, going bit batshit crazy ruminating! A) think sold property, B) man found rental @ro in Riwaka by estuary. C) class told im not back next yr, shit 1 girl cried and 1 boy went “oh no” rest just looked at me. Got a male teacher and ya no why lol so he can join the volunteer fire fighters true dat 😉 ha junior room teacher resigned today omg. Last week got rung by another principal i taught with 7 yrs ago asking would i teach 18 wks nxt yr,. Talked it over with man, gunna do it as i have still got this teacher council shit going on, for fucks sake, hearing in Feb. All this shit for driving whilst revoked for medical condition, farkn dumb cunts aye @prudence . Why fuck dont going after dumb cunt teachers. Anywhoo went to see principal today and it was like old time, effing and blinding in his office. Hes on on sabatical to finish his masters and D.P filling in. Went to her room and i felt like saying, clean ya farkn room, get ya kids off bean bags, get some farkn desks. P introduced me to young male teacher and i thought yr limp wrist so gave him hard handshake. P said this is Janus, she was my senior teacher, young limp wrist was thinkn shit i do believe. And i was thinkn i got yr number mate you lazy cunt. 23 farkn hell and hes useless as i had to tutor 1 of his students. Its like “i am a male teacher, i have a penis therefore i am god”. Then Willem(principal ) asked if am keen to do swim school in hols, as parents asking if am back. I did it in 2017 hols. Before those farkn real bad dizzy spells. How did i get or deserve my man, he said go for it. So part frm reports, assessments coming out ears to mark and camp in a wk, this been going on and feel overwhelmed. Tomight want to get slaughtered. But late so wont. Man and i used to being apart but its not much fun for me, i miss the humour. Banter, fucking and blinding. Whoops just threw a stone at this arsehole ferrel cat, score he just screamed, farkn marking…[Read more]

    • Soooooo much happening e hoa… Po Marie, more tomorrow.xxxx hoping you get your much needed beauty sleep.me too

    • Wow. That was one meaty post ! Good to catch up with you @Janus2 your Christmas holidays sound way better than anyone I’ve heard yet.
      You’re really killing it on all fronts @Janus2, miss you girl. xx

    • Nice to see you @Janus2! That’s a lot going on!

    • Although it’s a hell of a lot to hold in your head just now I think it sounds like a great plan @janus2

      I read it carefully and it doesn’t seem like taking on too much.

      I had to laugh, I did have a vision of a giant sister chowing down on a poor helpless little turtle at first 😀

    • What do I think? Well I think you’re moving, for one thing. And I think you sound good, and I’m pleased about that. The teaching; it’s like you get to choose the right fit for you. And kids know a good teacher when they see one. I really believe that, they sense it. I couldn’t do it, I’m not a good disciplinarian, they’d run all over me. But as to one other observation of yours, I’m not sure god has a penis, and I’m in no hurry to find out. So what’s this camping, I’m still stuck on finding that one out.

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 8 months, 1 week ago

    New Zealanders – tag anyone i should have tagged! (sorry if you get this notification more than once i’ve edited it a couple times).

    @rahera @rise2015 @treehugger @elsa1202 @littlebluefox @normaleelucid @inthegarage @malibustacey ?

    @marmite @morgan @prudence @begoodtomyself @seedynomore @ro @emjaycee @mrwtf @mac007 @bondi @tim @song-bird @wildchild @temperance #wishfulthinking?

    @lizzy @suek @eola @elhall @robynb @tipsytoegal @tom4500 @sobere 😀 #REALLYwishfulthinking

  • janus2 posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well….. maybe just maybe if im applying for a country school i shouldnt dress too out there as i did today lol… i actually did a farkn good interview, threw the BOT a few curly questions, maybe 2 curly. And mayb i SHOULD DRESS MORE CONSERVATIVELY lol @bondi @prudence . I got rung by the p said i interviewed really well but BOT chose a teacher with rural school experience wtf does that mean? That i dont step in cow poo to get my mail? So nxt job i may wear jeans gumboots and a swandri (nzers) so ho hum. Lol i did walk in look at them and think, oh hello dowdy charlies!!! I am lucky that at times i do have a filter on my mouth. Admittedly when man rang he said…fandangle what did you wear…i told him… his reply well maybe black tights inatead of farking tartan, jesus wept i laughed, says the man who wears the same clothes day in day out, but give him, he changes his gruts. Anywhoo peace out all, pet day tomorrow, wtf is that about lol. Country bumkins aye. Next job in line arent for country schools lol.

    • Ah well you might have made a lucky swerve out of that one @janus2 🙂

      Stoopid idiots don’t know a breath of fresh air when it smacks them in the mouth with a pair of tartan tights 😉

    • pet day @janus2, gorgeous! Best wear gumboots for that I reckon…your man changes his gruts? Keeper!! Agree with her above – stoopid idiots xoxo

    • @janus2, maybe you dodged a bullet… looking forward to hearing when you get the position that’s perfect for you

    • Yep if going for another country position gumboots with fishnet tights next time lovely! Nope not conservative !

    • got a be you, @janus2, so, find the job that loves you.

    • HELLO DOWDY CHARLIES!!!! pure @Janus gold!
      Be you as when you get the job you have to go every day and you have to be accepted and a “fit” for where you are.
      Love and heres to tartan tights!

    • Phew! So pleased you failed that one. haha. I reckon you’re doing far too much already, well, at least enough. Why don’t you just keep your energy focused for now on selling the property, keep your attention on it and thereby maybe attracting a buyer. Then you can both move to Mot and that would be the time to make new beginnings in the work field. Do you really hate the job you have now? Coz 3 days a week seems about right. I was a country bumpkin by the way Missie and I loved pet day. I even got on TV when I was 8 with my sheep Toby dressed as a hitch hiker with Mums black stretchy pants and a stripey shirt, dark sunglasses and Aunty Mary’s backpack. I was on the Town and Around Show with Bernard Smythe (if any NZ’ers are old enough to remember it) hehehehe

    • Really loved this post of yours, Janus. And when its followed up by your beautiful reply to Lucylocket…well, some of us, anyway, know both sides of Janus. The fun, and the thoughtful. I see you, Janus.

    • Sorry for late reply my wee friend @janus2 Been down on the farm and offline…which I love. Think I agree with Prudence, you don’t need to prove anything here, take your time looking for more work and the stress that could come with the change, focus on selling property and enjoy time with man and the perfect job for you will appear. And don’t ever dress to please anyone but you…just love you as you are. Big hugs xoxo

  • janus2 posted an update 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    Fuck interview tomorrow 2.15. That was farkn quick and am shitting self lol. Damit i have to look conservative like the vicars daughter i am lol but (very secular)! But will have wee janus twist orange skirt/ tartan tights i got in Sotland and fuck me boots lol. I so didnt expect it as its a holiday here but not where i applied .
    Damit fatbum trpped over door way and seriously hurt hind leg, she has been a right farkn pussy (shes a dog) . I got her clipped other day, and omg seriously hilarious. I had to buy her a coat as she was shivering. But hey shes 15. I am in bed horse tranquilisers on board @bondi, vowing to wow at interview. Just bit worried as bit of jump in school size but can say no if really unsure in end. Cant get stress job, get unwell, mentally and physically. Damit fuck being a Bipolar bear and pancreatitis. Oh @prudence decided to flag Aus and sister at xmas my thinkn round it got too stinking, round weight issue. Wait till man and i know what happening Going to do my swim school again in picton and add Ward. Keep me busy, as need income over summer, as only get hol paye. Oh and if those who interested lol got 2 new bras today, god damit theyr perky. 😉 . Anyway getn slurry. Peace out all. Wish me luck at 2.15

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Aren’t they gorgeous @bondi ?

  • janus2 posted an update 9 months, 1 week ago

    I have rocked my life since last wednes, in a farkn awesome way!!! Trip to see niece, her hubby and new baby rocked. My wee 6mnth old gnephew is adorable. My broken relationship with her, thru her mums fault, is awesomely back in track. We went to town, laughed, joked, played with Ben. I baked, 1 lot a complete fail. Now this just happened naturally, i was baking and she just came up and started helping… then she said “just like old times o loopy one!” 🙂 . When i left, she said, love you and see you soon! That rocked and i was so stoked i made off cuff decision to visit. She craked up at my hippy dress again. She was pretty stoked lol i brort “normal” country road jeans for $41 and wore next day lol, mind you had to be pink lol. Her mum comes home frm U.K after 4 yrs, her comment, “it will be interesting, you know mum”. My sister has been pretty nasty to me, so i cant wait to eyeball her AND IM NOT MAD OR DRUNK .Drive home was farking shit, so wet, i at one stage at stop, go, forgot that being a new automatic car lol if you put in drive and hoof accelerator, fuck me it goes and i knocked over a cone and just bout took out young stop, go boy, poor fucker just bout shat himself, as did i! Now i know why i love manuals. Ho hum. BUT THAT FARKING NEW CAR HUMS! Went to school yesterday, thinking yup 2 hrs max, went 11.30, d8dnt get home till 6.30. But fuckn classroom looks awesome. Today kids came in, 1 kid i heard say to another kid, looking forward to this term! Score for Janus. Dickthwacker principal organised field trip, i was fucked but had another 2 hrs private tutoring, 3.30 to 5.30. I am supposed to be only working 3 days, but stupid bitch sharing with emailed said not there this friday, if she was in front of me wuda bitchslapped her precious wee vineyard planting cowbag face and broken her pearls. I so knew this would happen with her. What a kut she is! Anywhoo, today is over, an9ther long day, with tutoring till 5.30, have to leave here at 7.15…[Read more]

    • Great to hear it went so well – more than well. Please do pace yourself so you can glide beautifully to the end of the year.
      Xxxxx

    • Thanks mate, needed a good laugh, got the tears rolling down my face! x

    • @janus2 So pleased that you have reconnected with your niece! Your classroom sounds awesome!
      I’m just back from a mountain biking trip on a trail in south western Oz. Amazing wildflowers.
      Day 583 for me.

    • oxox I second the others, loving your updates and had a good chuckle at this one!! oxoxo That seems to have been a good experience and more to come. Good things coming your way, sweet janus 2.

  • barnmomma posted a new activity comment 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks, @Bondi, I am very blessed for sure. Big hugs right back to you. XXX

  • kitten posted a new activity comment 9 months, 3 weeks ago

    wow, @bondi.

  • janus2 posted an update 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    No not been on here for while. @ro and @prudence and @bondi Been due to health…a) want to say if want good health stay given up, or b) if want poor health, stay pissing it up. Have been known to long speels… this time not or maybe not lol. Suffice to know or let you know, you drink expect poor health,as to mine, dont think others think on internal health, its all external,eg bloaty face,saggy eyes, give up sugar, blah blah. Also see or read how liver became all good again. Keep it that way. Not sure how many actually take internals responsibly or acknowkedge. Your internals are huge. Dont get yr drinking to affecting yours as to mine. To be honest, get scared as its damage as liver, pancreas fucked. All very well to say keep it going, its september, how bout its September lets get free, y a mnth. Never understood that september bullshit. Lets be free for a yr, then get back to the booze. I wonder if september bullshit came frm nz as coming to summer and look hot, as i am lol. Oi oi enuf. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition.

  • MittyR posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Day 33, and all is going well here. It’s a chilly start to the day here in the UK. Autumn is just starting to arrive, although should be 23 degrees later.
    Grateful for the posts from all you sober superstars leading the way, was inspiring to read the posts from @jules and @bondi with days done, life transformed and money in the bank! Learning so much each day from all of you and even if I’m not posting I’m reading and inwardly digesting all your pearls of wisdom.
    Last night for the first time in literally many years I watched a whole film without falling asleep before the end – “The Guensey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Sociery” – very good if you haven’t seen it. Ginger beer and a herbal tea were delicious and this morning I feel well and clear headed. I must have a back catalogue of hundreds of films that I have no idea of how they ended. This morning I can have a discussion on the film with my hubby as I can remember it. So sad it has taken me so long to change my life – so so so happy to be here on Day 33.
    So a way to go to get to the same place as those of you who have blazed the trail, but the path is lit and we are following.
    Take care all, have a great Sunday. Busy day for us as my husband is a minister, but a sober fun filled Sunday to come.
    X

    • Couldn’t agree more @MittyR. Can’t believe how many times hubby put a movie on while i was drinking and i’d either fall asleep or worse start talking loudly all the way through so nobody got to see it. Thankfully he’s very supportive as he’s also had his issues with alcohol and prescription meds. Have a great Sunday 🙂

    • 33 days, way to go!!!! Woot woot!
      oxoxxo

    • “So a way to go to get to the same place as those of you who have blazed the trail, but the path is lit and we are following.“ LOVED THIS. Amazing work on your 33 days!

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    😉 well fuck me @bondi and @jules 😉 massive congrats and both very cool posts. Xo♡

    • Hi @janus2 Thank you little buddy. Did not expect to hear from you today, so my day gets even better. How are you? Sending huge hugs and lots of get well wishes. Xoxox

  • Ellislou posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Wonderful post and wonderful achievement @Bondi

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @bondi 🙂

  • Oceania posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Lovely post @bondi , so inspiring beautiful lady xx

  • Ro posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @bondi awesome achievement and inspirational to me 🙂

  • Jules posted an update 10 months, 1 week ago

    Hi Team. I havent posted on here in ages, but today is a special day, my counter says 1400 days and I’ve saved $28000. I’m gobsmacked that in four years I would have spent that much $$$$ on poison!!!!!
    My sober buddy @bondi had a coffee together this morning to celebrate our achievement. We discussed that it is so the norm now to be alcohol-free and how our lives are so much richer, rounder, exciting, comfortable and empowering now that the booze is eliminated.
    To all you newbies here, stay on the road, ban all thoughts of having a drink, it’s a thought that you allow into your head so don’t give it space to sabotage your journey. Sober life is INCREDIBLE!!
    Thanks to @mac007 and @mrs-d for your kind mentions.

  • Annie posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Fantastic post @Bondi. You are an inspiration. I soooooo wish I had the trust of my kids to look after the grandies. It breaks my heart but totally my fault for having drunk alcohol and then driving my 1year old grandaughter. Oh how I wish I could erase that from all our memories.

    • Stay with us @Annie, The trust will come in time, be patient. When I first joined here someone’s daughter gave her a bracelet which simply read “not today”. That’s really all you have to do. Wish it were that simple but it helped me on the bad days when I could have killed for a sav. Trust that those memories will fade and you will regain your families trust. Xoxox

  • Mac007 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    Helloooooo lovely @Bondi Big hugs to you and @Jules , well done both of you. xo
    These years have been the best , haven’t they?
    Not sure when I will be back up, your way, for a visit. Playing grandma myself and I love it!
    Love to you both xox

  • Hi LS crew. Had a lovely afternoon yesterday with the Chch gang and @wildchild. So lovely in fact that I think it’s time we all caught up again .
    @prudence @morgan @mullycatnz @oceania @begoodtomyself @emjaycee @wildchild @tim @enzedgirl @janus2 @agent99 @normaleelucid @mtedenmummy @april @nina @redredwinegoestomyhead @mrwtf @mac007 @mrs-d @bondi @pearl @ange @songbird @ro @seedynomore @scared @watergirl @kerris @mslsober @temperance @marylourocks @trace @liberty @soberstylist …… ok I’m running out even though I know there are plenty more Kiwis please tag them everyone.
    How about a trip to the top of the south island in Oct / Nov? Maybe to head to where @janus2 is? Was thinking maybe nights of 26/27 Oct which is the weekend after Labour weekend. What do you think? Anyone keen????

  • janus2 posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Grrr health @bondi

  • Oh @bondi wish cud see you. @pearl

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thx @bondi @kodom @kitten and @nina

    Yes Nina would love to catch up any time you’re in Aucks xxx

  • janus2 posted an update 11 months, 1 week ago

    Dam just lost a post so redoing it as need to maybe get answers from here. Managed to get to my A&D appointment Discussed how at the moment have thoughts of drrinking, maybe due to being back teaching. Discuussed and looked at criteria on the DSM5 of alcoholism, 8 criteria all of which I answered yes to all 8, ha gutted, 2 criteria, mild, 4 criteria, moderate issue with alcohole. Feel as though bit like ny Bipolar as was in constant denial of that illness. Just seems slow learner with regards to drinking, yet know as @prudence said if started again, due to organ damage be dead shortly grrr, that should stop me aye. Its like ambivilance, not acceptance. Dont get me wrong not all the time, just still a narrative that goes on in my thoughts, yet I love the Rational Recovery perspective on it. Also maybe due to the fact excerrise is down and feeling rather blah and flabby all over. Crazy aye. Also maybe that with tutoring and swim teaching, plus back in class, and being asked to be staff rep on BOT, which I want to do as get an inside look at perspective of the governance run by BOTs and a voice by teaching staff and have done it before.
    feel slightly bombarded, but dont want to stop, as it gives me cash in hand. With BOT meetings, runs for 3 hours normally and starts at 7p.m and on my day off, So I dont know as 45 ks to get to the school. I have also decided @morgan to not do 2 more papers until Feb, which pisses me off slightly, but I do know my limits I think. As it would include weekly lectures via internet and 4 essays this round of 2 papers. Anywhoo thats me currently. @marmite and @ro do you feel like the way that I think and feel?
    I also feel a bit gutted as fatbums cateracts are getting worse, last night went for walk lateish, didnt have on lead, turned around and she was on the road heading towards car lights, phew traffic stopped. So I think at the moment along with teach conduct involved with conviction for license revoked and hande down for…[Read more]

    • Hi @janus2, most of this post leaves me in no position to give support or words of wisdom sorry. However, the work thing is a pretty big trigger for me too. The workload and the overwhelm that our kind of work brings can become almost insurmountable for me. I think I could ‘cope well’ if I could fit regular exercise around kiddos, life and work. So, I totally get where you are coming from in those areas. ‘This too shall pass’ – all of it. We all know this but its hard to ‘chill’ when there is so much going on and still unresolved in our lives. Take care.

    • Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment Janus…… try not to overdo it……. make sure you take plenty of time out for self care.

    • I found that times of change always disturbed my sobriety. I know that now and can expect the sober road to get a bit bumpy while I’m in the midst of major change. But I also found that it settles down again. What it taught me was to be careful for a while but that it would be OK again soon. You are very capable and determined. You’ll be just fine.

    • Fuck mate you have so much going on. If it’s not raining it’s pouring cobber . . .that guy sounds like a right piece of work- what I can’t understand is why the fucker hasn’t been struck off every list imaginable. Really not fair, but try not to spend too much time ruminating on it because it’ll get you nowhere. I used to compare my conviction with others to my detriment- how they hand the sentences out is beyond my scope of understanding there seems to be no rhyme or reason-they vary radically and depend on what undies the judge is wearing that day, made me really bitter for awhile. Not sure what to suggest re: bot meetings, especially as it’s your day off, and a bit of a mish to get there and back, but if you get paid for it . . . .and good stuff to learn, all looks good on paper.
      Did you call the Po po about the undesirables? Fuck having someone snooping around, I’d be staying with kitchen bitch too. Sorry to hear about Fatbums eyes. I just got a message from my Mum saying that one of my sisters’ dogs’ in Brisbane got bitten by a snake and died- how fucking horrible is that?? Poor doggy I hope it died quickly because from what I understand some snake venom is really really fucking slow and nasty 🙁
      Don’t you even consider drinking you hear- it’s a sack of shit and you know it. And as for thinking like you nah I can honestly say you are one of a kind my learned colleague-and that is a good thing because you are unique and I love what you bring to this place-don’t ever change 😉

    • Dear @janus2 bloody hell. My advice is hold on tight ,stay on this site and read the wise words from all your mates here. Your union will help you. Bat the drinking thoughts away. Booze is the last thing you need. Sending you hugs and thoughts xxx

    • Crikey mate, self care what are you doing for you? Campground go across and talk to the managers and see if they have had any trouble recently, and let them know whats going on around your house. It could have been an overnight person snooping around or if it is someone else eg a resident they need to know what they are up to. You have a lot on your plate take care of you first, try not to ruminate as I am learning it does no good and is a waste of my energy

    • Hey @janus2 I’m sorry to hear that life is tough. I have a card on the wall that says “Somedays you’re the pigeon, some days you are the statue” you are the statue getting shitted on right now by the pigeon!
      I reckon, I’ll always have that alcoholic flame in me, I’ll never totally extinguish it, I just have to live with it and not give in to it. I know that even picking up one drink will lead to 1000 drinks and then I’ll be fucked and everything I’ve worked so hard for will be gone. Oh Fatbum, your best friend. Sad doesn’t cover it. I was fucking devastated when marmite died, even thought she’d had a good life, she was my best buddy and I didn’t want to let go of her. Had to in the end as had inoperable bladder cancer. It took me 2 years to be ready to rescue my Tui and she has taken my dog love to a whole new level. I’m looking at her as I type thinking I couldn’t love a dog more.
      It sounds to me that life has got overwhelming. Time to pick the eyes out of it, what are your favourite bits? Stick with those for a bit and then add more if and when you have time. I haven’t been a BOT member but I have fought against them and it was incredibly frustrating, are you sure you want to be in this group? Maybe you have a good crowd but for me, I think the bureaucracy would be enough to drive me to drink, I’m a doer not a talker.
      How about saving up some cash for another Taka retreat? I could do with it too I reckon, bloody madness buying a pub and building a house in the same year. Love and hugs to you and fatbum xxoo

    • Hi my dear friend @janus2 sorry I have not been around here much lately. I don’t like giving advice but you did ask. Slow down, stop and just breath. You do not need to prove anything to anyone, just concentrate on your teaching, which has been your dream since I met you. The BOT position could be toxic, getting caught between your colleagues and the board, and you do not need this. Two things I have learnt over the last few years is my mental health and sobriety are non nogotiable, they take priority and you need to do this for you to. Remember small steps, with everything in your life now, you can do it and stay close to us. There is no jusdgement only love and support to get you through each day. Sending big hugs and love xoxoxo

  • enzedgirl posted a new activity comment 11 months, 2 weeks ago

    @treehugger oof that’s big life milestone stuff. No wonder it’s hard hon xxx

    So looking forward to seeing you and @bondi in a few weeks!

  • Emjaycee posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @bondi xo

  • Treehugger posted a new activity comment 11 months, 3 weeks ago

    Was such as lovely morning/afternoon @normaleelucid 🙂 And thanks again @bondi for including me. I have so much respect for you both, such beautiful lovely people, our catch up really filled my tank of joy. Arohanui ki a korua xo

  • Day 1470 Man that is a massive number! I had the pleasure of meeting @treehugger yesterday. I felt I had known her for years and so comfortable in her company. Just a trust that comes often when I meet our tribe. Also the quietly spoken and beautifully kind @bondi who I first met in the very early days. A nice catch up in a pretty garden center. Hours flew buy with ease and not a gap in conversation even though we spanned 10 years from each other. A lovely time thank you so much xx

  • April posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    Thanks @Bondi

  • Normaleelucid posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Awww Mac. So sweet,thank you I am overwhelmed buy these messages.
    Resilient- that is how the Dr described me and I like it and will take that as my mantra.
    Can’t wait for a catch up with you, @bondi and @Jules too. Love you guys xox

  • Aria posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Thank you @Bondi for your positive feedback

  • behind-the-sofa posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Thanks for the mention @bondi …day 1595 here…. hope you’re well xx

  • Treehugger posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    @Bondi – there have been no waves for weeks and in the last few days there’s finally been some swell, haven’t been out for a whole month, but just bought a hood and booties so hoping to get out tomorrow!

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