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  • Bobby posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    I need some kindly words. I still feel awful for what I did to my parents.

    • Hi @Bobby! Hugs to you. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. x

    • You are not a bad person, Bobby.
      I have said AWFUL stuff when I was blackout drunk….One guy in particular in college got it good….I can’t remember what I said but I drunk-raged at him GOOD….We met up years later and he wasn’t angry at all….I think if anything people are concerned because they want us to be ok and safe.

      Now given my history and childhood, I would like to encourage you to inquire if there is anything that has not been processed yet, maybe some issues between you and your parents that may have triggered the rage? Or was it 100% alcohol-induced only? You don’t have to answer that, as it is a very personal question.

      In my experience, my drunk rages had at least for the most part something to do with my unhealed wounds…..Like I’d project the anger I had towards my abusive mother and my bio-father leaving and never caring one bit about me onto men….and whether or not the man was good, rest assured I drunk-raged and caused scenes…Because I was a hurt little girl still inside who felt unheard and unseen….and terrified of not-belonging and not being “good enough” and worthy of belonging and acceptance.

      This may not apply to you at all of course. Just throwing ideas out there.

      I’d say honesty is the best approach in this situation. If you feel awful about it, tell them. Text them/email if picking up the phone is too much today. It’s ok to say it how it is. “Mom, dad, I have an alcohol problem and raged at you last night because I got wasted. I feel awful and I am sorry. I am currently looking for professional help so that I can heal.”

      Something like that.

      By the way…..It sounds like you are experiencing a relapse right now after doing quite well there for a while…is that right? I again can only recommend that professional help makes such a difference.

      It’s still not your fault.
      But it is your problem.

      Just like how a broken foot or a flesh wound deserves our care and is our problem (and not our fault), alcohol abuse deserves that kind of care.

      I still believe in you and and I will always believe you can get sober and stay sober and safe.
      It may just require more support than you currently have.

      oxoxoxox

      • Hi @Bobby ……we are with you and we hear you …..I’m only just starting out having hit rock bottom and getting to a point where I have to and want to get out of this dark hole…… so I guess I’m not experienced enough on this journey yet to offer any pearls of advice …… but this community on here will surround you and support you and walk with you without judging ….. stick with us and keep reaching out 😜. Sending much love your way x

    • It was the alcohol talking @bobby, the real you wouldn’t do that.

    • All you can do is apologises, and then show through behaviour that you are sorry. If it was deep hurt it may take them a while to come around. Be patient, hurts don’t get forgotten about quickly, but by actions and heart words can be repaired over time

    • Bobby, I am pretty sure you never want to be in this place again. We are here for gou. What will you do differently this time, if anything? How might we help you to stay on the sober path? 💚💚💚

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