47 year old who has been drinking for far too long. My life feels stagnant; stuck in a dark cycle and escape seems impossible. I know alcohol has the power to take me down to a point of no return, this is not how I want my life to play out. I have decided to take control back, as of 24/01/2017 alcohol is never winning again, it has no place in my life.
Day 1 for me – I’m lucky enough to be on a holiday in Bali. Halfway through and I’ve decided the second half is going to be sans booze. Booze has the ability to destroy great moments, it lingers hauntingly in the background, never letting my mind rest no matter how little or much I have. Love love this site, last time on here I got to around 120 days, feeling better prepared and more courageous this time. Thanks for the courage in all of your posts (ex lurker here) x
@bluewren how are you?!! So cool you are back I’ve just rejoined too and was looking out for you. 120 days is amazing! I got to 80 and then fell back into some pretty destructive habits. Back now though and day 22. Funny you should say you feel better prepared and courageous this time, it feels different for me too, really different. Enjoy the rest of your holiday, enjoy every moment stay strong and stay close to this site!
That is awful. Good for you for taking action @hammer123 , in Australia tax was increased significantly on these drinks (70 pc) to try and stamp this marketing and accessibility out. You certainly noticed a steep decline on such drinks being around.
Hi @maryh I get awful headaches when I stop drinking, I tried everything except the obvious water. I now fill up a litre bottle that I must drink everyday, along with lots of other AF beverages (plus extra water when I can). It has made a massive difference, I still get headaches, but they are less frequent and a lot less servere x
Hi @bluewren Don’t drink for the rest of the day, then you have a Friday tucked under your belt… The next challenge is Saturday… But you already know you can do that, you did last Saturday. When your head is screaming at you that a drink would be good scream back “Liar!” Please let us know how you get on on Saturday and Sunday.
Hi @kate1975 are you at Day 7 too? How are you doing? Who else in the list is in the low digits? Please post and let us know how you’re doing… the good, the bad and the ugly. Please don’t try to do this alone… you don’t have to. You are not alone.
Have a fabulous trip with your daughter @begoodtomyself sounds really special. Thx also for some advice you gave me quite sometime ago about anxiety and how you dealt with it- this time round I am taking some antidepressants just to hopefully smooth out some of the bumps. Oops sorry to making about me, just want to say thx and have a fab weekend with your daughter xx
Good for you @bluewren, it’s important to get whatever support you need. It’s good to see you here (I just read your post below). I am much more aware of my anxiety (and other feelings) the longer I am sober and slowly learning to manage it better too. Thanks for the good wishes 🙂
It’s day 1 for me. I am going to start the first day of spring tomorrow without a hungover. I am so grateful for this place, as I know from last time I need connection to do this. Last time I committed to day 1 on here I made about 120 days. I found my anxiety levels weren’t easing, and had a drink. There were so so many better options, but I went back to my trusty old nemesis for 20 mins of relief followed by 20 hours plus of pain, and so the cycle begins again. Anyway this time I have put some things in place, inc doc visit regarding anxiety and greater self care. One thing for me I know I must avoid drinking situations in the short term, my default is do anything to fit in, even when it is obviously to my detriment. Happy Friday everyone, I’m so glad to be back xxx
Glad you checked in @Bluewren. Most of us have been where you are so you have lots of company here. Sounds like you have a solid plan plus your experience to draw on. You can do this. I’ll be pulling for you.
Hi @liberty and @seedynomore. So glad to see you on here liberty, as I really wanted to thank you for the shout-out a while ago, it kept here (lurking) and motivated me to put things in place to start again, Happy Friday to you both
Hi @lynnelowe so great to see you. Congratulations on 37 days, that is awesome, so glad things are passing easy, really motivating to hear. I’m starting again, I got to about 120 days last time and slipped up, so it’s Day 1 for me, but so glad when I logged on to see you here
Great to hear from you. Yep it’s hard to keep on, because I only went back to glass of wine here and there, but Iw ant to stop it so I don’t sabotage myself. Also the older I get the more sensitive I get to it. This place is great to come back to eh? No judgement only support. Great to be in touch. Have a great weekend. PS It seemed much easier this time round…. so far anyway after about 2 weeks.
Hi @liberty I thank you so much for this shoutout, it meant so much to me and I wanted post straight back but I couldn’t find the words to articulate what I wanted to say. So I kept putting off until the next day, or deciding to do it when I was back on track. So sorry for not replying back; what I want to say is your post truly helped me, it made strive to get back on track, where I really want to be. Thank you so much for this , you are so kind and thoughtful. I really hope things are going okay xx
Happy Birthday @mari135 wishing you a wonderful day, with a bit of laughter thrown in. Thx so much for sharing your navigating through such hard stuff. Thx also for always emphasising the power of therapy; it has made me make progress, and I’m off to see someone today……so your post is timely that it is so worth dealing with the uncomfortable, rather than numbing, over and over…..xxxx
oxoxoxo Thanks so much for your kind message, Bluewren! And I hope the therapist you saw today felt right and was a good fit. If not, give yourself permission to find the right one. I googled “warning signs of bad therapy” and found that helpful when I was out looking for help.
Hi @esharp76 I wish I could find the words to help- I’m navigating something similar – when your not included or made to feel unworthy in your own family, it bloody hurts- I think we need to be proud that we would never act like them, I’m just trying to move forward and be the best version of me- ‘fight the good fight’. they’re actually ones missing out on someone trying to make a genuine connection – it will all work out x
Well done on Day 6 @sg it’s so nice that your Dad understands and supports you. So true about one day at a time. I think even we think we are not making positive progress we always are in some shape or form. Don’t stress about not ringing, the thing is ypu have the number there, and you thought about it. I think that’s part of the process, and one day you will take the plunge. I won’t drink today either
There should better laws about stupid law decisions @Ro what a load of rubblish 7 years good behaviour, close 10 full time weeks of community service for 28grms of pot – gees I would be / am angry too. grrr what’s the point of pleading guilty if that’s what you get…… so many people do ‘actual’ horrendous things and get no conviction
That is so much to deal with, I wish I had wise words to help. Justice better pervail – have you got someone you can talk to, eg a therapist so you can try on get some coping strategies to get through the next couple of weeks, as unfair as the ex’s demand is, it is completely out of your control (at the moment). As for the phone calls and emails (I take it there not from ex….. he sounds like a piece of work, but not that stupid). I think you need to go to police, or find a way to block them (sorry you have prob tried). All this will work out, please take great care of yourself
Hi @bluewren! Thank you! Yes. I went to police/than Dective when one of messages was a video of a guy JERKING OFF. (Wtf) But there were no leads as phone not under name etc etc I went to Geek Squad(computer) and my phone carrier. I did all blocking so there’s nothing left I see a counselor. I am running again and taking Zoloft I think I just have to wait it out. It is raw and horrid. And maddening But luckily in cycles(like wine witch) I know drinking would destroy everything. I just feel hopeless