• bird posted an update 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Morning everyone, I just felt like coming in and saying hi. Hope your all doing well. Under 6 months of my degree to go and I am now a nanny of a beautiful wee girl. I’m more present for my kids and finally starting to believe in myself again. I feel very grateful, life is good. For anyone struggling I write things down, take walks and breathe in life ❤️

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Dust yourself off and carry on. You’ve done so well. Sometimes it makes us stronger x

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Good morning!!! You nailed it on the head. I too need to come back to this site to ground me again. I’ve started thinking drinking again and those thoughts are my mind trying to trick me. So thank god I haven’t been tempted again and came on here this morning to reaffirm that sobriety is living !!

  • bird posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hi all, well I’m still studying and this is my last year. I got very run down with 2 bouts of the flu in quick succession, and had to have a blood test. I was very shocked when the nurse told me that my liver count was up. Her message on the phone was among other things, that I should look at my alcohol consumption. At that moment all my fear came back to me. I quickly phoned her to tell her that I don’t drink alcohol. I was so stunned , but luckily she did say that the bouts of flu have probably contributed to this. In a funny way, it’s reaffirmed my need to stay sober!! Much love everyone 😊

    • Yes, I was always scared to get bloods done coz i knew my liver would give away my drinking and it did and like you affirmed my decision to stay sober 🙂

    • geez, two bouts of the flu sucks. take care of yourself. yes, stay sober, love back at you.

    • Oh wow! 2 bouts of the flu!! Yuck… I have a household recovering at the moment from it … would hate another round… Rest up and may that dreaded flu be gone!!!

    • Yeah I have bloods done every year. I should never have been drinking after severe liver problems in my pregnancies and the risks I’m prone to later in life (now). Pathetic huh?!
      I’ve been dam lucky!
      Now I can stop worrying 🙏

  • bird posted an update 5 months ago

    Hi all I’m in the last year of a degree and feeling very emotional. I think I’ve always been shy but alcohol brought out the outgoing, funny, try anything trouble part of me that brought despair eventually. What I’m finding at the moment is that I dont speak up when things aren’t right. I’m feeling very vulnerable and after 3 1/2 years of study I still have the urge to give up. I know it’s crazy. I just thought sharing might help xxx have a great weekend all

    • Hi there @bird
      I think that speaking up when things aren’t right takes enormous conviction, self belief and courage. It is something I too struggle with. The good part about what you have said is that you recognise it because to be honest it is so easy to become part of the flow that reacts like everyone else around you with little or no thought to what is actually going on. I find I do have to stop and think which sometimes means an answer is not readily available but I think that is ok. It buys you time to form your response and I have found you can make others think again from a different point of view. In general just quietly your view becomes respected even if not acknowledged like that openly and I have found that on occasion people will seek you out for that reason.
      So good for you. Maybe you are getting a bit tired from your study too and now that the end is in sight you will have more decisions to make in terms of what next?? Maybe that is not a comfortable feeling right now but you will be fine.
      There is a song I have listened to lots on you tube and I find it calming and beautiful. It is The Corrs unplugged version of Everybody Hurts. It might lift your spirits.❤️

    • It’s not crazy at all @bird
      A lot of us find feeling our feelings to be a huge challenge after going AF, especially if those feelings involve a corrosive level of anxiety and self doubt. I relate very much to what you’ve written here. I’ve found counselling helpful on and off over the years – both having it, and learning the theories about how our psyches work. I hope at least seeing that you’re not alone with these feelings has helped….go well.

  • bird posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yay Tim so true !!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi , I look back and think a lot of the time I was thirsty and alcohol was always the fix. I’m still very conscious of the thirst thing but make sure I’ve got good food and a lime & soda there to quench the thirst. Unfortunately sometimes water just doesn’t hit the mark! Hang in there breathe, hour by hour 😊

  • bird posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you , Happy New Year xx

  • bird posted an update 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hi I wondered if someone can help me. I use the the name Bird on this site. But it’s changed to Al lol. Not sure how this happened or how to change it back x

    • @Al when you are in edit more in the space that says about you above your statement you must have typed your name Al in there and it removed Bird. Go back to editing your profile and right above the area to type about yourself you can put Bird in.

    • We were not able to change our user name on the old site. I am unsure if you can now. When @mrs-d is back from camping she will be able to confirm if it doesn’t change for you. A bit of a mystery if it changed itself though!??!!

    • hey @bird I don’t know why that had changed itself to ‘al’ .. your username in the back end is actually still bird.. I have changed it back to display as such! x

  • bird posted an update 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Wishing you all a Happy New Year. Tonight I went out for dinner then walked my dog in the park. It was a beautiful evening , I’m so grateful at this moment. ❤️❤️

  • bird‘s profile was updated 7 months, 3 weeks ago

  • bird posted an update 8 months ago

    Merry Christmas everyone. A sober Christmas for me and no fear today ❤️

  • bird posted a new activity comment 10 months, 1 week ago

    How wonderful for you and your girls. Such a wonderful feeling xx

  • bird posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Davenajean, I relate to you totally. I thought I could do the same. I finished a year of study and thought I deserved a drink. Same at Christmas when I ended up injuring myself. Big wake up. Call!. I’m with ya

  • bird posted an update 2 years, 5 months ago

    Hi everyone I haven’t been on here for a while.! It’s nice to know there are lots of strong and courageous people trying to change their lives for the better on this site. I’m doing ok with my sobriety, I still struggle with the thought and that’s all it is that if I cld sometimes have one drink. But I know it’s never that for me. So I quickly drink some water or something to quench my thirst and I’m fine again . So cheers everyone xx

    • Hi @Bird. Congrats to you for staying strong. I know how that is – i’ve been on and off wanting to get sober. I am divorced and at home with my 16 year old (btw, my ex is an alcoholic which is one reason for the divorce! )…i’m not the blackout drinker but way too consistent with the nightly wine. I DID have that one glass of wine last night after a day of work, and you know what? You aren’t missing anything. I put that glass in the dishwasher, dumped out the bottle and poured myself some seltzer. All it did was make me sleepy! I thought, WTF am i doing? It feels SOO much better to get a good night sleep and wake up feeling good 🙂

      • Barbara–how awesome that you noticed how you felt after that glass and stopped it in it’s tracks! To wake up in the middle of an addictive act and reroute is something I’ve rarely, if ever, been able to do. I’m glad we’re working to get sober together…that nightly wine was such a “comfort”…or so we thought. We can do this! Everyone says there are so many positive things on the other side…and I’m starting to really believe them.

  • bird posted a new activity comment 2 years, 12 months ago

    Congratulations!!!!!

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 1 month ago

    Met a fantastic member last night hi grannie !!! It’s like someone put us together !, xx so grateful

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 4 months ago

    Thanks for that Morgan!!!! Full time study and I work as a therapist so it’s all go!!!! Will try the tumeric etc thank you x

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 4 months ago

    It’s funny how the universe works. I’ve been feeling grr the last few days. I can’t figure out what’s eating me but I’m probably tired with work, study and kids.
    I had been thinking drinking a bit, sometimes when I’m thirsty I do that!, but it worries me a bit. Anyway just reading through my emails and mrs d pops up, reassures me every time. Thank you so much amazing lady, and you all when I realise we are the strong ones and no I don’t need a drink at all x

    • We sure don’t need it! Are you getting enough protein? Great nutrition really helps. I find the B vitamins, D, Evening Primrose, and tumeric really lift my energy and mood – I am sure the tumeric capsules actually made me feel chirpy, a miracle at the time of stress. One study found it to be slightly more effective than prozac – and no horrible side effects, all benefits! Worth a try.
      Work study AND kids is massive too – how much study? How is it going?

      • Thanks for that Morgan!!!! Full time study and I work as a therapist so it’s all go!!!! Will try the tumeric etc thank you x

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 5 months ago

    Good for you !!!!! And happy 60

    • Good on you. I had the big boozy parties for my 40th and 50th and it’s my 60th next year. I’ve decided to go back to UK for it (been in NZ for over 30 years, have had only three trips back) and spend it with my wonderful brother and sister who I miss so much. And…..drum roll….on my ‘saved’ box it says $2,500. I just about have too, been putting it into a separate account. Long way to go yet (want to fit in a trip to Oz to see my kids and granddkids too) but such a great feeling, can’t believe all that money would have just been down the drain otherwise.

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 5 months ago

    Hi all, I haven’t been on the sight for ages, but I’m continuing to stay sober. I’m committed to a midwifery degree now, and my mind is so clear. I’m able to juggle family, work and degree, only by being sober, and happy to!!! Have a wonderful day x

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Congratulations !!! Fantastic

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Yes that would have been better!!, cancelled, Mayb a walks better anyway !

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thanks!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thanks!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thanks!!!

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Has anyone got any advise, I’m supposed to be meeting an old friend tonight after 20 odd years, who remembers me as the party girl, and I’m freaking out about drinking , or not drinking. I’m trying to change to coffee and a walk in morning but can’t get hold of him. So it’s only 11am and I’m already anxious !!! Mayb tomorrow definitely better idea!

    • 20 years is a long time to expect someone not to change. Don’t feel like you have to be the perpetual ‘party girl’ anymore. A very simple ‘I don’t drink alcohol’ is all the explanation needed. Enjoy your visit!

    • Yes, I’m with @QuietlyDone! In fact, we should be proud that we’ve grown and changed after two decades, shouldn’t we? It’s kind of odd that we feel vaguely ashamed of being sober…. it’s almost as though we feel that it makes us “weak” that we can’t handle our liquor, as opposed to STRONG for overcoming our addiction? It’s a question I’ve been pondering a lot lately… x

    • I’ve found that others appreciate how I’ve ‘grown up’ since the last time they saw me @Bird. I would just enjoy the conversation and flick off any thoughts of drinking. You can do it – and you’ll be so proud 🙂

    • Keeping it in the day sounds like a good idea if you are anxious. Planning in a meal might help?

  • bird changed their profile picture 3 years, 8 months ago

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thanks!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thanks!!

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Just wondering how I change my profile piccy please?

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Morning all, feeling very positive this time around and managed to go to my nieces graduation on Friday and not feel tempted to drink. Today is my sons birthday and my daughter is dancing in her end of year show, and many times I have felt ill with the booze on this day. Not today!, I’ll exercise, make a cake and appreciate the small and beautiful things in life!!!!! have a great day, I love this site xx never has water tasted so good!!!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Hi I loved Alan carrs book, and purchased it on fishpond NZ, . It’s well worth a read 🙂

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Good for you , what an amazing achievement, very inspiring for me, I’ve had a few goes at being sober, with aa but something didn’t feel right and I always felt resentful. This time I’m loving this site, reading heaps, meditating and yes same as you not aiming for perfection!!!!! its great to have the choice and and for now sobriety is freeing and rewarding!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Thank you will have a listen 🙂

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 8 months ago

    Good for you !!

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 8 months ago

    Hi just wondering if there are any LS people in invercargill?? Love the fact you ladies are meeting up.. What a great support line for each other . If anyone’s keen for coffee would be nice.

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 9 months ago

    Hi everyone, I hope your all well. I went out with some girlfriends in the Week, and it’s weird how some of them commented on me not having a drink! , God am I that important (not). Then when I had a cup of tea, I was asked if I was getting old!!!!! But I too am starting to feel good, I’m sure my skin is starting to glow to!! My confidence is good, in fact life is good and I’m very very grateful.

    • Well done! It’s so great when we start to realise just how much better things are when we stop the alcohol . Keep drinking tea because your friends will start to look much older than you with your lovely glowing skin 🙂

    • Well done

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Thanks for your post, really brought me back down to earth !!!!, it’s funny some days that’s fear comes and I really don’t know why, I’m sober!! As Alan Carr says it’s the booze that abuses us, not us abusing the booze! Have a great week

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    I know how you feel, I’ve tried moderation, but I’m fooling myself. I end up with low self esteem every time. Being sober is so freeing, and improves your life no end!! Good to see you here x

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Yes, sounds a great read thanks !

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Gorgeous!!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Good on you

  • bird posted an update 3 years, 9 months ago

    Morning all, happy sober Sunday xx

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Maybe give it away !

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    I agree, all starts out fun and games, and ends up guilt, blackouts and bruises !!!!

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Hang in there x don’t beat yourself up to much

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Hi my problem to was staying stopped!.. It is almost like self sabotaging because you feel so good not drinking, you think maybe I can drink sensibly again. Unfortunately it always creeps back, and I’m such a slow learner! I’m trying this time by meditating and writing, and of course using this site with all you strong courageous people!! Have a lovely week, you struck a cord with me

    • Yes, I found the same! Slow learners all around here it seems! Staying stopped has been the hardest for me. I convince myself I’m OK to drink again! It’s illogical, and usually I’m so bloody proud of being logical! This time around I realize that’s where I need to put the big effort, so I am trying new things, too. Meditating is good, trying meetings, and really being honest with myself. It’s a relief to know others feel the same, though I would never wish this on anyone! Thanks for the moral support. Lovely week to you, too! xo

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Limit? What’s that haha

  • bird posted a new activity comment 3 years, 9 months ago

    Same , onwards & upwards

    • Thanks guys – not beating myself up – punishment enough having to go thru the first couple of days AGAIN – they’re the worst!!

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