• Begoodtomyself posted an update 3 months ago

    Good morning LS. It is so lovely to pop in here- it feels like coming home. So many sharing the ups and downs, positives and struggles of living sober, living life raw with all its’ beauty and challenges.
    It has been a while since I’ve posted and I’ve made some big changes. Just over a week ago I moved into my own wee place with my two doggies. My decision to move out of the family home was not made lightly, I can look back through my journaling to see I was considering this option in 2016 (and maybe even before that but I wasn’t journaling then 🙄).
    My sober anniversary is 24 Feb and I started travelling this road in 2016. It has been a slow and progressive journey as I have taken each day sober and fought to recover who I am. I am feeling sad as I write this, sad for the years lost but also hope that I am awakening from a bad dream, awakening to a new way, that my life can be how I want it, filled with love, hope and goodness.
    I was born into a family already ravaged by the disease of alcoholism. I was affected by this and carried the impact into my adult life. Some of the symptoms included fear of authority figures, people-pleasing to the ‘nth degree’ and an over developed sense of responsibility. I lost myself along the way as I let these survival skills from my childhood dictate my behaviour as an adult.
    My understanding of the impact of the disease has grown slowly since I got sober. I am grateful to have continued to stay sober, one day at a time, for the last 3 1/4 years, to now be in this place where I have honoured myself and who I am (slowly being revealed 😊) by moving myself ( and my precious Inner Child) to a home that is safe for us and is alcohol free.
    The move went so smoothly, in fact, finding a home for myself and two dogs (I rent) was amazing. I loved the first house I looked at and I was offered it….and I accepted once I got over being blown away that it could be mine! And I moved in a week later. By the end of the first weekend I was…[Read more]

    • Hey lovely to hear from you! And so happy you are happily settled in a new home. Love that you are nurturing your precious inner child, you’re a real inspiration.. the way you’ve gone about unpicking what is going on for you. Enjoy your new alcohol-free home xxx

    • Thanks for popping in and sharing. Big changes for you, but it sounds like you were ready for them. Much love.

    • A lot to take from this post, thank you for sharing it…. People pleasing to the’nth degree…….um, I have a lot to think about!!

    • @begoodtomyself, so appreciate your update, it’s good to hear your news; beautifully articulated and soulful as always. What a huge change, yet a gradual process. It’s been such a privilege witnessing this unfolding. A new chapter xxx

    • You really sound ‘at home’, too. @Begoodtomyself. Plus the reality of…3 & 1/4yrs of healing those broken places in your heart must nearly be indescribable.

    • So pleased you’ve found your way into this new space @begoodtomyself and that you can now live without negative influences around you. Daughter will be great company too. Really so very proud of you for the patience you have shown, and the courage and grace you possess. Love to you xoxo

    • OMG and wow, you have moved and moved on! How smooth was that!? So happy to hear. Have been thinking about you and meaning to ring, but the river of life is very swift and a bit rough at present – ok, but I lost my kayak along the way 🙁 a bit tired swimming around the rocks

    • So glad the transition has gone smoothly for you, I wish you happiness and joy on this new leg of your journey, and all done sober too even better 💐

    • You are amazing and always so gracious about yourself, it’s wonderful to read this update, I know it came at a price, this cautious removing of yourself from the situation. Love and hugs to you beautiful friend as you blossom over and over. xx@begoodtomyself.

    • Happened upon your post while looking up an old LS friend…..so good to hear from you, @begoodtomyself. And so nice to hear of your life progress. I’m glad you posted this. it’s a great read for anyone needing a story of how this all turns out for the better. Safe to say that we all need those stories.

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Yes, yes, yes! Great list xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Day 182, fantastic. Nicely done @agirl x

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    So excited to being seeing you soon 😁😎

  • Good morning all 😁. I do still pop in, from time to time, and it is lovely to see so many new “tribes people” along the the lovely “faces” I know.
    So, life does just keep moving on. Last Friday, I made the decision to separate from my husband. I knew when I made my decision to go sober it would impact greatly on my relationship. Truth is, the relationship wasn’t great when I decided I couldn’t/wouldn’t live the way I was any more. I made that decision for me and have learnt (am still learning) what it means to take care of me and how that looks.
    Spending three nights a week for four weeks, being taken on a journey to look at my family of origin (alcoholic father, co-dependent mother and three siblings filling roles in a dysfunctional family, just trying to survive and make sense of their world) has helped me to see more of my own behaviours and reactions that aren’t healthy or helpful or skilful. One of the lessons (of many) is adding words to my vocab. Using words to describe myself and what is going on with me that don’t induce criticism and harsh judgement. For too long my inner critic has been the voice of perfection, high and unobtainable standards, always pushing for more and never being satisfied.
    Sobriety and recovery have given me freedom to explore new ways of being and to discover the way back to “me”. I am grateful for my recovery and for the amazing supports I have around me today.
    It is a slow journey and worth every. single. step. Be in it for the long haul, just one day at a time.
    Take care out there, lovelies and have a gratitude filled day xx

    • ❤️

    • Hi @Begoodtomyself You say “For too long my inner critic has been the voice of perfection, high and unobtainable standards, always pushing for more and never being satisfied.” This realisation was a really important penny-drop moment for me. For years I demanded a ridiculous standard of myself… I actually required perfection; nothing less was good enough. But that expectation truly was ridiculous. I couldn’t possibly know everything and I couldn’t possibly always be right… but that was the standard I held myself to. But that standard was also an obstacle to recovery. It took some time but I realised after a while that it was completely unreasonable to expect that I could know everything, and it was completely unreasonable for me to expect that I was never wrong. It caused a major shift in my thinking and this shift was that, it was OK to not know all the answers and it was OK to be wrong sometimes… it was OK to be flawed. In fact, any other position was completely unreasonable; I am not 100% perfect all the time, nor will I ever become so. This change made me teachable when it came to recovery from alcoholism. This was something I did not know how to do, but others did. I was not the expert, I was the novice. I could accept that other people might actually know better than I did, and I was open to receiving advice. It was a huge change in how I thought about myself, but it had another incredibly helpful facet. Not only did I start to allow myself to be flawed, I found I applied this standard to others. I allowed other people to be flawed, which meant that I was suddenly far less judgemental. It was only a fairly small thing, realising that I wasn’t nor ever would be perfect, but the change was far reaching. It completely changed how I saw myself in the world and how I saw others. It began a discipline that I still follow. If I ever catch myself judging what someone else says or does then I remind myself that no-one is perfect; not me, and not them. Not…[Read more]

    • hi @Begoodtomyself what a long road this has been for you, thinking back through it I would just like you to hold as a truth that you did all you could on your side of the street – and in my opinion, much much more than you had responsibility for. While this decision would not have come easy for you , I have to say I am so happy to see you taking a stand for you. You came through for yourself, regardless of what happens going forward, you drew a line that states your worth and that is gold. Big hugs xoxoxo

    • oxoxoxoxox So very proud of you walking your own truth and meeting your own needs, honoring your feelings and healing.

    • Wow that’s a big decision to make but well done on doing what is right for you! Look after yourself ❤️❤️❤️

    • congrats to you.

    • Thank you for posting this. I tend to do the same and I also worry about how being AF will change my relationship with my husband. I am glad that you are feeling strong and moving forward taking care of yourself.

    • big hugs @begoodtomyself i’m so glad we’ll be catching up this weekend, this has been a long path as trace said. ❤️❤️❤️

    • Important to be true to ourselves, and amazing what we discover without the blurring of the edges from drinking. You’ve made a tough decision obviously, but be proud of your sobriety and yourself for making the hard decisions.

    • @begoodtomyself, you are such a hero, in your own life. That sounds odd but I know how hard this must be for you. Wherever this road is going you are walking it with grace and dignity and a lot of insight. Know we are here with you. xx

    • Will be lovely to see you this weekend @begoodtomyself. Lots to catch up xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congrats @marmite. I look forward to catching up soon xx

  • Good morning LS. It’s a beautiful morning here, another autumnal day that heralds change. Change, that inevitable ingredient of life. At three years sober I’m not sure I sure I ride the waves of change with grace and ease, rather with stumbling and resistance knowing there is another way but the familiar can be hard to let go.
    I am participating in a Family of Origin course, set up for those from families with addiction and dysfunction who want to understand how patterns and programming, and survival skills innately learnt in childhood, continue to provide a platform in our adult lives that isn’t always skillfull or healthful. My family story isn’t one of overt physical violence but silence, blame, shame and uncertainty. To those looking in we presented as a ‘normal’, middle-class family – professional, working Father, stay at home Mum. Little did they know my mother was a woman in crisis, living with a ‘high-functioning’ alcoholic whose place of work tacitly promoted drinking and provided cover when he fucked up due to drinking. And I was born into this chaos, third baby, unplanned that brought physical health issues into the family.
    For so long, I have felt defective, a fraud, at fault. The course is challenging those faulty messages. It is tiring, emotional, confronting! I am grateful to have a day off from work and the course, an opportunity to reflect, rest , ponder and practice lots of gentle, loving self care as I navigate this provocative time, something I have instigated myself, walking the path of recovery. And it is worth it, the slowly growing feeling of freedom, freedom from past trauma and programming, and a growing awareness of myself- who I am and that it is OK to be me, I am enough, more than enough even……The value in the course is working to allow those words to become an inherent part of my being, to move from my head to my heart and gut.
    It can feel lonesome at times and I am grateful for the other travellers who willingly share…[Read more]

    • Thank you. You go well too.

    • three years sober. what a great idea to take a family of origin class. i am just starting to pay attention to how much drinking went on around me during my entire life. this is a great post, well said, and such real stuff to think about. fighting, when i decide what i want, that is.

    • Amazing post lovely lady ! Congrats on your precious three years too xxx

    • Hey what a huge process you are going through.. that course sounds wonderful and challenging at the same time. So great you are unpicking everything that’s going on and from your childhood and aren’t just numbing and avoiding. Did I miss your 3 year soberversary? Congrats!! That does make you eligible to share your Sober Story you know.. let me know if you are keen to do that and I’ll email you the list of questions xx

      • That sounds like an incredibly brave process. Something that you will get so much out of – amazing growth on the sober path. Congratulations on 3 years xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Congratulations to three years sober, wonderful, wise, warrior woman 😊. We have come so far and the future looks bright xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    I like it, words are, indeed, very powerful xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Nice to see you @trace, I have been rather absent lately too xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Great post and well done you @mari135, it happens just one step, one minute at a time xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @freedom1025 😎

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes, I will 😁. I am staying with @prudence, so looking forward to it. Are you coming down? I’ve been a bit out of the loop x

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    I have thought of you often @wildchild and finally have time to catch up on some posts here. So pleased about your results. I had a bilateral oophorectomy 8 years ago after being assessed as high risk for breast and ovarian cancer. So relieved to not be adding to my worries with the booze too xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hey @enzedgirl, thanks 😃

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @liberty, it is always a pleasure to see you here xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thank you @20012015. What do your numbers mean? The hard work is definitely worth it and has given me much hope for a brighter future xx

    • Embarrassed to say but here goes….that’s the date that I first logged onto this site. I had wanted to changed them to a motivational description but now that are a reminder of how long it has taken, and how many failed attempts, it’s taken me. There, a very honest explanation and you (and the everyone else on this site) now know.

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @timidwarrior, how are you doing?

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @ro. Funds are still tight so treating myself with loving kindness is where I’m at 😁, a super treat any day xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @mari135. The course is an intensive outpatient programme for family members from alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional families. I knew I was infected/effected but taking a much closer look, in a safe and loving environment, with five other woman doing the same, is powerful, healing stuff. Hope you are well, it is always uplifting to see familiar names here xx

  • Good morning LS. My visits here have become sporadic in recent months and that is OK. Last Sunday I celebrated 3 years sober, I had every intention to post and share my moment but the day passed and a new working week began 😊.
    The week was full on, I worked full time and three evenings I attended a course specific to exploring my family of origin. The course goes for another three weeks and I return to working part time this week which will be a blessing. I have been surprised, and delighted, that I have had the energy for both, and time for meaningful interaction with my family too, without feeling exhausted. In fact, facing and grieving a childhood marred by alcoholism seems to have cleared a blockage that has allowed my energy to flow more easily and freely.
    I am grateful to be part of the recovery tribe. I attend 12 step programs for those living with effects of alcoholism, presently and in the past, and LS is my place for support with my own dysfunctional relationship with alcohol.
    I attend ACA, a support group for Adult Children of Alcoholics. One of the traits of an adult child is they become an alcoholic, or marry one, or both. My story is both. Now, through sobriety and recovery, I am writing a new story rather than treading the predictable path of an adult whose childhood haunts their present, I am facing the past with love and support and learning I have choices.
    Sticking with sobriety and recovery has been hard work at times. The serenity and joys that comes is worth every growing pain.
    It is awesome to see some many new members here, waking up to the lie we are being sold. Freedom is there for the taking xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sending love and hugs lovely @wildchild xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 6 months, 4 weeks ago

    Ohh, yes, i tried that one. Was delicious and the colour was great!

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Hi @janus2, I’m sorry you’ve lost your wee buddy. Sending a big hug, my friend. Two years deserves a special treat 😊 xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    What a great post, so much to identify with especially the bucket loads (even big truck loads ) of gratitude. Have a great day xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    It is Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional families. I attended meetings (for a short while) here in NZ about 25 years ago. It folded but restarted, much stronger six years ago (sixth birthday celebrated this January). This time round there is literature that has been developed. We have the BRB-Big Red Book- the equivalent of AA’s Big Blue Book along with Daily affirmations, twelve step workbook and other stuff. It also has the Laundry List- a list of traits we identify with that we developed to help us survive our childhood. It is also a 12 step based program that supports our recovery from a childhood affected by alcoholism or other family dysfunction 🙂 xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Wow, I just checked out the book, sounds amazing. One book that has stayed in my memory over the years is ‘The Mists of Avalon’. It is the story of King Arthur but from the perspective of the various women involved. It was steeped in myth and mystery and ancient wisdom, full of the strength (and other stuff) of women.
    I am starting to delve into my family of origin, looking at those messages and programming that set up a platform for shame. I am ready now to look with kindness and compassion. I am finding great direction and support from ACA/DF.
    Thank you for sharing your path. And I loved doing the rituals to end and welcome the old and new year. Amazing and powerful stuff-thank you for sharing those with us, the reflection and intention have set my year off to a great start. Thank you @suek xx
    We are brave and amazing

    • I remember The Mists of Avalon… read it years and years ago, and loved it. I must read it again. Thanks for the reminder.

      What is: ACA/DF?

      • It is Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional families. I attended meetings (for a short while) here in NZ about 25 years ago. It folded but restarted, much stronger six years ago (sixth birthday celebrated this January). This time round there is literature that has been developed. We have the BRB-Big Red Book- the equivalent of AA’s Big Blue Book along with Daily affirmations, twelve step workbook and other stuff. It also has the Laundry List- a list of traits we identify with that we developed to help us survive our childhood. It is also a 12 step based program that supports our recovery from a childhood affected by alcoholism or other family dysfunction 🙂 xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Just lovely, thanks @prudence xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Good on you@tracyliz, for turning your life around and now taking the bold and courageous step out into the world on your own terms. Be proud xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Hi @reena 😊😊, it’s so lovely to hear from you. Thank you so much for you kind words and understanding. The funny thing (or maybe painful) is we (my DH and I) seem to mirror each other to a degree. I so often feel unseen/unheard and I am remedying that by sharing and attending meetings which has diminished my expectation of him. Yesterday, I walked in from work (nice day, I love my new job) and hadn’t noticed a single thing he had done (lawns, washing-washed, dried and folded, watering plants, etc) except he was cooking tea when I had said I would make Pad Thai. Now, I had no problem with him making tea as it was 30C and time was marching on. He, however, thought I was judging and being 10 beers in just went off . I don’t want to go into it except I do own that I walked in and wasn’t present and didn’t see what he had done (which I think may equate to him feeling not seen and we both know how that feels). I done own the whole shit storm and I can’t control the impact of alcohol but I can do my best to see my part and apologise☺.
    How are you doing? You’re not working just now? Once I got my new job (I found it just before Xmas and started early Jan) I loved being able to really relax and enjoy my four weeks of holiday before the job kicked off. I hope you are well, my friend xx

    • It’s hard to know with the alcohol on board isn’t it? @begoodtomyself. I think you might be too hard on yourself here, I mean, without the booze the correct thing or kind thing would be, pointing it out without a tirade. The thing that comes across to me is how much you are doing for yourself. The groups you are going to for support and your new cool job..that’s so wonderful to hear. In the end, it’s our life, what we choose to respond to. I try to tell myself that a lot with the marital stuff. We bicker and it just brings me down so much, it’s such a negative thing. Well, onward right. Huge congrats on your three year mark, you have been such a source of calm and inspiration to me and many here. Be well xxx @begoodtomyself

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Thanks @dragonfly76. The great thing is, I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon and I also attend (and practice the twelve steps 😊) of ACA. I started attending both nearly four months ago and it was a real turning point for me. I, too, drank with my husband and for a long time it seemed ok until it wasn’t. I also come from a long family line of alcoholics so it isn’t too surprising that I had succumbed to it’s addictive power. In Al-Anon I have found compassion, love and acceptance not at all dis-similar to what I find here in LS.
    Thank you for your kind wishes xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Lovely, thank you xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted an update 7 months ago

    Good morning LS. It has been lovely to read through the feed this morning. The love and compassion from member to member permeates every thread and overflows to the reader. Not sure if that happens for others but definitely happens for me. And this morning I am so appreciative of the gentle and safe space.
    On the whole, I am doing well. I’ve started a new job, I’ve added extras to my tool box in the form of 12 step work- I’m a month off my third soberversary. I am tempted to get another tattoo but not sure finance will permit just now (I got my first to celebrate one year sober and it has taken a couple of years to get over the pain!)
    Things in my marriage aren’t so great, twice this week I have received the brunt of my husband’s emotional tirade which happens after the consumption of to much beer- him NOT me 😊 (that’s what I see). I know that behaviour is not the ‘real’ man, I also know to don’t have to put up with this treatment.
    We have been through many difficult situations in recent years that have been very challenging to us both. My decision to not only be sober but to find myself, find my voice, has really challenged the status quo of our relationship. He has continued his relationship with alcohol. So, this morning, I sit here not sure what his reaction/response will be once he is up. What is important is- how will I be? How will I respond?
    He has just appeared, the atmosphere has turned frosty. I will remain calm and grounded.
    Thanks for being here LS warriors xx

    • Hello good friend. So sorry for the challenges, I know somewhat of those type of situations, just the marital part not mixed with alcohol but long term relationship “stuff”. I know you were so hopeful when he moved away from the alcohol abuse. I think our challenges were def in that region of finding my voice and speaking out, not that I am quiet, but the drinking kept me shame bound or just going along. It feel like a constant balance where one person is never on the same page as another. Wishing you peace as you go forward. Love and thoughts beautiful lady. xx @begoodtomyself.

      • Hi @reena 😊😊, it’s so lovely to hear from you. Thank you so much for you kind words and understanding. The funny thing (or maybe painful) is we (my DH and I) seem to mirror each other to a degree. I so often feel unseen/unheard and I am remedying that by sharing and attending meetings which has diminished my expectation of him. Yesterday, I walked in from work (nice day, I love my new job) and hadn’t noticed a single thing he had done (lawns, washing-washed, dried and folded, watering plants, etc) except he was cooking tea when I had said I would make Pad Thai. Now, I had no problem with him making tea as it was 30C and time was marching on. He, however, thought I was judging and being 10 beers in just went off . I don’t want to go into it except I do own that I walked in and wasn’t present and didn’t see what he had done (which I think may equate to him feeling not seen and we both know how that feels). I done own the whole shit storm and I can’t control the impact of alcohol but I can do my best to see my part and apologise☺.
        How are you doing? You’re not working just now? Once I got my new job (I found it just before Xmas and started early Jan) I loved being able to really relax and enjoy my four weeks of holiday before the job kicked off. I hope you are well, my friend xx

        • It’s hard to know with the alcohol on board isn’t it? @begoodtomyself. I think you might be too hard on yourself here, I mean, without the booze the correct thing or kind thing would be, pointing it out without a tirade. The thing that comes across to me is how much you are doing for yourself. The groups you are going to for support and your new cool job..that’s so wonderful to hear. In the end, it’s our life, what we choose to respond to. I try to tell myself that a lot with the marital stuff. We bicker and it just brings me down so much, it’s such a negative thing. Well, onward right. Huge congrats on your three year mark, you have been such a source of calm and inspiration to me and many here. Be well xxx @begoodtomyself

    • firstly well done on having 3 years so close but it is even more impressive that you have done it in a home where alcohol is not only consumed but abused that is amazing, you are so strong. I lived 15 years with an alcoholic and i felt i drank aswell just so i could deal with him. Can i suggest you find an Al-Anon group to join. It is for people who have alcoholics in there lives and it is a really supportive group. I wish you love and strength oxoxoxo

      • Thanks @dragonfly76. The great thing is, I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon and I also attend (and practice the twelve steps 😊) of ACA. I started attending both nearly four months ago and it was a real turning point for me. I, too, drank with my husband and for a long time it seemed ok until it wasn’t. I also come from a long family line of alcoholics so it isn’t too surprising that I had succumbed to it’s addictive power. In Al-Anon I have found compassion, love and acceptance not at all dis-similar to what I find here in LS.
        Thank you for your kind wishes xx

    • well done and you have such a positive attitude. I hear compassion towards your husband (Compassion = Love + Wisdom). I’m no longer with my husband but when I wasn’t drinking I was very judgemental about his weed use. I was so holier than though. I believe that was the attitude that made me unable to stay stopped.

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Lovely visual, touching post @frog, keep warm!

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Well done @Noelle, celebrate each milestone 😊 xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Good for you, welcome back xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months ago

    Thanks for you honest and intuitive post @mari135. I, too, have that book on my shelf, it has been there for years……Have a happy, productive day xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Brilliant @68notout, that’s fabulous xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    You post made me smile, thanks @jaxisdry xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Brilliant! Congratulations @sober4real xx

  • Good morning LS 😊. I have had two days at my new job, I do feel like a wee pig in mud (TBH, I have no idea really what a pig in mud feels but I am thinking happy and comfortable). I have a day off today which feels rather surreal and then it’s back to work tomorrow then 3 days off! I will be consciously working to have balance between work and self care (in it’s many forms). We still plan to run our other business but that won’t kick off until Feb.
    To add to this blissful day, my DH is away with his new job until Thursday. I am loving the time to myself, having the space to be me, make my own decisions without having to think about consultation. I am grateful for these circumstances. Our relationship had become quite co-dependent and while I am consciously trying to move forward with this, him not so much. So I am grateful to whatever power has brought this about.
    It is slow and steady progress, I will be three years sober in February, but there is progress and because the changes are slow and incremental they have become have become embedded with who I am. I am consciously working, each day, to be a better me.
    Checking in here, almost daily, is one of my tools that keep my travelling my right path.
    Go well today Sober Warriors xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @fran, I am reading a book where there is a drink (or three) being poured on every second page (it is quite a big book)! I reckon if they were to document it statistically they’d look like a right bunch of p*ssheads! Anyway, I am enjoying the story and of course, hangovers only get written in if it works with the story line!
    Well done on D9, double figures tomorrow xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Good morning @trace 😊 . I love the analogy with the rabbit story, taking the knocks (and the love) while becoming more real, our true selves. It is a slow process.
    Funny ( in a cool, ‘we are on the same page’s- no pun intended 😊- kind of way) coincidence, I too, and spending more time writing this year. My youngest son bought me a journal and pen for Xmas (he asked what he could get me) and I discovered a gratitude journal app on my tablet ) I downloaded it last year and then forgot about it🙂) so I’m doing my best to write in each everyday. I have missed one day so far. I’ve often struggled with writing in a journal 1.with trying to write the ‘right’ thing, 2. identifying feelings rather than writing about ‘doing
    3. not making mistakes, trying to make it ‘perfect’.
    I have moved forward a little from this need for perfection and I think writing down things to be grateful for last year helped that transition.
    Anyway, great work on day three and being here. See you tomorrow xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    That’s fantastic @k1w1, so exciting for you xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Beautiful and well done you @cinderella xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @winner, it was a good day and today was better! It is a nice environment to work and I love the product. Thanks for the encouragement 😊 xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @timidwarrior, I have a good day one and even better day two! Tomorrow, I have the day off….living the dream 😊…..Well, at least not the nightmare!!

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @k1w1, day one was good and day two even better. I think I’m going to enjoy myself, it is a nice place to work.

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @noelle, the first couple of days have gone well, I think. Day off tomorrow…so feeling pretty lucky. How are you going? xx

  • Begoodtomyself posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @enzedgirl, day one was good and day two even better….and I have the day off tomorrow! Felt in my element checking off a big stationery order today for back to Uni, reminded me of back to school (but better, just now, because I don’t own the business 😮)!

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