• April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Ooooh… 🥰🥰 love this – too much stony, sharp rocks in my life… I often feel crumpled and need wildflowers to grow but someone else sees stony, sharp edges… sigh!!!

    Thank you and take care of you @morgan

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Oh @wildchild that’s rough on lots of levels. Sounds like you are ‘hunkering down’ as much as you can around a ‘full’ life… take care and hopefully the tiredness will slowly begin to lift. You have been through the wringer recently. Take care

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Your work sounds so hard, rewarding and heartbreaking… what a relief to be able to stay in contact when you can. I would worry too. The man front sounds very exciting – new opportunities? I have clearly missed heaps by not being here.

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @mari135… yeah self imposed deadlines can set us up for even more heartbreak. Progress not perfection and recognising that we are all doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment is very freeing for me

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Exactly @hammer123

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Oops @clowance and @delgirl68 I couldn’t get that to post in the right place

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    That all sounds very familiar @delgirl68. My DH is (finally) believing me when I say I am not ‘attacking him’. They (often) adore us as we do them but we don’t always ‘understand’ each other. That (for us) is what turns conversation to conflict. An ashram sounds like my ideal holiday destination 😂

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    That she is @prudence… I haven’t really ‘lost’ all the jewels in my life which is how it sometimes feels.

    • It does sometimes feel like that @April, especially with our girlfriends I found. Don’t worry, they are still there. It is you who have changed, not them. We can feel a bit abandoned, but it is just life, sorting it all out. Time can be quite the giver of gifts. Patience is indeed a virtue, I really get that now. Great to see you making some…[Read more]

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    @morgan, that’s exactly how it is for me. The more I can talk about it and feel ‘heard’ the less I ‘need’ to talk about it. And yes, less acute and distressing with time. DH is opposite. However we are starting fully understand each other’s differences now re the gnarly stuff so that is helping a lot too.

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hi @morgan, love seeing your posts. No lurking from recently – sigh. Just awol for a week. Doing life. I have been thinking bout @wildchild too. Hope life is treating you well also @morgan.

    • Pretty good hon. Work always has its ups and downs and griefs. At present I am so rapt to have finished a long bit of work with a couple of very traumatised children, but, trouble is, now I miss them terribly and worry… Fortunately I can ring and see one, and may have some work where he is.
      On The Man front, heaps has happened, surprising,…[Read more]

      • Your work sounds so hard, rewarding and heartbreaking… what a relief to be able to stay in contact when you can. I would worry too. The man front sounds very exciting – new opportunities? I have clearly missed heaps by not being here.

    • No, nothing missed, I try not to say too much as still in hiding here. My life is so easily identifiable and I am still in workplaces and applying for jobs where I think it could be used against me. No trust in most people; too many horrible things have happened to me.
      The short version is, we will be living at least on the same property in the…[Read more]

  • April posted an update 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Evening all, i have been off line for exactly a week. Still here though and still sober. Life is ‘full’. It’s been a bit up and down relationship wise with some old issues still being ‘hashed’ out between dh and myself.

    I’m beginning to realise/accept that it’s okay that some of the ‘really gnarly’ stuff we deal with may always bubble up…[Read more]

    • Sounds like a wise friend xx Glad you’re doing ok.

    • I so agree. when everyone used to rabbit on about Closure, I always thought, nah, not possible, doesn’t make sense to me. Certain things come and go, hopefully becoming less acute and distressing with time. Xxxx you have done so well in tough, gruelling circumstances xxxx

      • @morgan, that’s exactly how it is for me. The more I can talk about it and feel ‘heard’ the less I ‘need’ to talk about it. And yes, less acute and distressing with time. DH is opposite. However we are starting fully understand each other’s differences now re the gnarly stuff so that is helping a lot too.

    • Your friend sure is a keeper April. Love her thinking. Xx

      • That she is @prudence… I haven’t really ‘lost’ all the jewels in my life which is how it sometimes feels.

        • It does sometimes feel like that @April, especially with our girlfriends I found. Don’t worry, they are still there. It is you who have changed, not them. We can feel a bit abandoned, but it is just life, sorting it all out. Time can be quite the giver of gifts. Patience is indeed a virtue, I really get that now. Great to see you making some…[Read more]

    • That’s great advice. I agree fully. I finally told my dh today everything that pisses me off – but it boils down to him not bloody listening, not having his attention. I bought something up the other day and his response was to “just get over it and let it go”. To that I think “you don’t care about my feelings and couldn’t even be bothered to…[Read more]

      • The other thing that happens, @delgirl68 I think, is that classic ‘male/female problem talk’ thing. [ref. Deborah Tanner ‘You just don’t understand’]
        In obviously sweeping generalisations, women talk about problems to make a closer connection, men talk about problems to fix them. And problems unfixed make them anxious (high cortisol levels me…[Read more]

      • That all sounds very familiar @delgirl68. My DH is (finally) believing me when I say I am not ‘attacking him’. They (often) adore us as we do them but we don’t always ‘understand’ each other. That (for us) is what turns conversation to conflict. An ashram sounds like my ideal holiday destination 😂

      • Oops @clowance and @delgirl68 I couldn’t get that to post in the right place

      • Awwww so sweet @Delgirl68. Flowers and an explanation. Maybe that is all there is from him and you need a confidante or 3 to offload the rest. I know with my reclusive, silent man, the times he talks are so precious, and his words are 100% true because thought through. He is a very expressive talkative lover however, and I think that makes up for…[Read more]

    • Oh if we could all just communicate a little better! My wife and I read companion books one written by the husband for the wives and one written by the wife for the husbands. It had a religious slant and seemed set up more for newlyweds but it sure gave us some insight into each other and really opened up some talking points. I will need to find…[Read more]

    • April…thanks so very much for sharing this….Your entire post is gold…I teared up a bit with this part (good tears!!):
      “Who says you have to ‘sort it’ and put it behind you?”

      Oh man…I felt relief reading it as my husband and I definitely have gnarly stuff that tends to come up here and there.
      Your post taught me a seriously good and hel…[Read more]

      • Thanks @mari135… yeah self imposed deadlines can set us up for even more heartbreak. Progress not perfection and recognising that we are all doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment is very freeing for me

  • April posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Sooooooo tired!!!! Have put kiddos in front of a screen and am crashed out on couch… shattered!! Maybe I have hit the tired phase?? Just over a month continually af

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh… just what I ‘needed’ to read this morning @delgirl68 – thanks!

  • April posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Greetings all, self care to keep me af has beena new gym membership x2 gym sessions this week with another tomorrow morning. I am so enjoying it… it’s killing me but I love being able to really feel my sore muscles coz it’s a sign they are being used and growing stronger… exactly like our sober muscles! Self care also looks like…[Read more]

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thinking of you @mari135. Such eloquent posts… looking forward to updates. Enjoy a well deserved massage.

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    You are such an inspiration @suek! I love reading your guest blog posts and your posts in the members feed. Such great motivation to be and stay booze free. Thank you!

  • April posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    So after a few weeks of ‘to and fro’ I have (finally) committed to a gym membership. First class at 5am tomorrow… grateful to find somewhere that I can go before DH leaves for work. Won’t be feeling v grateful when my alarm wakes me 😂🤣😂. At least I’ll be hangover free – always the best feeling… I will be nervous though and v v self…[Read more]

    • Omg well done @april that is serious determination! Go you xx

    • Great job. Before purchasing my at home equipment I went to the gym after work.
      I was self conscious at first but grew to love the gym and paid very little attention to those around me.
      You’ve got this!!!

    • Go you!!! oxoxooxo It will be fun. It takes a few times to feel ‘at home’ in a new gym I found but like a new job, two weeks in and you will have forgotten about the first day jitters. oxoxo Have fun!

    • hey, @april, good for you. better to be in the room than not in the room. what a great start to a new you. need to do this as well, hopefully i can get some inspiration from you and get my butt going on the regular. be well.

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Keep us posted on the outcome @truthangel… so many of us sending positive vibes for you around the globe.

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Congrats again @lizzy… what are you doing to celebrate/acknowledge this epic no. of days?

  • April posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks @lizzy. I would really appreciate that

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