• Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Thank you… yes I think I will feel a whole lot better tomorrow…

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Good idea! I will do that!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Thank you… yes I learn from it every time I do it, and then I do it again just to see if I can learn anything new!! Never do though, it’s just always the same crap as last time!!

    • Same old crap, yes. 100 s of us here, maybe 1,000s, found that out 🙁 Everyone here understands, no matter what stage they got to, I think I can say that with certainty.
      XXXXX new determination tomorrow XXX

    • Thank you… yes I think I will feel a whole lot better tomorrow…

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Thank you, good to know- and yes, I thought that maybe there would be some on here that understand 🙂

    • Maybe a thought, next time, post before you cave? And you could get some support. This is not an easy road, but definitely worth all that hard work.

    • I agree with @mslsober, if it ever gets to this again, do a deal with yourself, promise that you’ll come here first, before you take that first sip, will you make the same decision after doing that? Maybe, maybe not….

  • I caved in tonight 🙁

    • Good for you for being on the site tonight and sharing that. Tomorrow is a new day, and you are among company that have had our fair share of caving.

      • Thank you, good to know- and yes, I thought that maybe there would be some on here that understand 🙂

        • Maybe a thought, next time, post before you cave? And you could get some support. This is not an easy road, but definitely worth all that hard work.

        • I agree with @mslsober, if it ever gets to this again, do a deal with yourself, promise that you’ll come here first, before you take that first sip, will you make the same decision after doing that? Maybe, maybe not….

      • Good idea! I will do that!

    • It happens. It happens quite often. You are doing something really hard. You are taking a huge step forward and kicking a highly addictive substance out of your life.

      What you are doing is really brave and hard and slips happen. Try and learn from it and start over. You can do this.

      • Thank you… yes I learn from it every time I do it, and then I do it again just to see if I can learn anything new!! Never do though, it’s just always the same crap as last time!!

        • Same old crap, yes. 100 s of us here, maybe 1,000s, found that out 🙁 Everyone here understands, no matter what stage they got to, I think I can say that with certainty.
          XXXXX new determination tomorrow XXX

        • Thank you… yes I think I will feel a whole lot better tomorrow…

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Yeah I know that the kids are definitely intuitive, and I really want to set a better example.. I guess what I mean when I say they don’t need me is they don’t take up all my time like they used to as they are off doing their own thing… more free time means more drink time!! Yeah I mean the urge will come back tomorrow… around about 4pm… and no I don’t have a plan but that’s prob a good idea! My (kind of) other half lives in Aus… long story and that’s definitely a point of stress for me ATM…

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Hey Morgan.. I can’t reply to your last comment for some reason, but thank you! You actually sound quite a bit like me.. having partner issues (he actually lives overseas) I have teenagers that don’t need their mum that much anymore (and have more of a social life than me) but I do have lovely animals! A dog & 2 cats… they’ve seen some sights, I can tell you! This weekend I am hungover today so no chance of drinking tonight, but it will all start again tomorrow I’m sure…

    • This looks like a reply. Hey, teens may not appear to need you, but they do, very, very much, and they are watching, all the time! Mine were rapt I stopped drinking, though it was never much. They intuited my obsession I reckon, though I hid it pretty well … perhaps … always drove them and their friends to parties and collected often(sober!), did the breakfast queen thing, stopped before I slurred or showed any signs. But still, they are so happy and proud.
      What will start tomorrow? The craving or the giving in? What about a plan? And what happens if the teens DO need you to drive them or rescue them? XXX
      And how far overseas?! sounds worse than my situation. AND what is worse, is that one very close bestie is returning from bloody YEARS away, and is thinking of living in another city! I thought she was really looking forward to being close, even sharing a house for a while. Sob.

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Thank you… I already know from that list that loneliness is my trigger… so yeah I know I need to tackle that issue… thank you heaps 🙂

    • I will call out to you and you can call back when lonely, ok? I am very sad and lonely as once more my house is empty (fabulous boarding couple left/ children and animals gone :() and my man far off and probably always will be, so … adjusting is so difficult. I knew 2 years ago this could be a rough time, so that was my D Day, no more relying on wine. Best thing I ever did for my health and mental state, but not easy.
      What are your weekend plans? Will they help clock up the days free of alcohol?

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Ah of course.. I am part way through studying nutrition too.. what a great idea.. chromium you say.. I’ll definitely look into it! And thanks, it feels better knowing it took everyone else a long time too…!

    • Don’t follow our lead though!!! Do it on your 4th try if at all possible 🙂 oh how we wish, even me as a late starter and managing to moderate wish I had not been so brainwashed and stupid, playing with fire.
      I am very interested in nutrition, should have studied it ( everyone here collectively sighs with boredom!) so it will be interesting what you discover works for you. Apparently alcohol, ‘as it invades every cell of our bodies’ strips us of so many vital things, even Drs prescribe B6, D, and magnesium to drinkers.

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    Awesome! What a great strategy, thank you. I think slowing down & actually thinking things through is key, because I just don’t do that… not enough anyway…

  • How do I do it? Why is it so hard to stop? This is approximately attempt number 4. Its crazy, I tell myself I’m not going to drink and then 5 minutes later I’m off to the supermarket to buy beer… it’s like this alien force takes over… I do have other problem drinkers in my family & I think we are all “addictive” types… I would really appreciate any suggestions…

    • Hi @Angel99. One of the key tools for me is playing it forward. I didn’t like who I had become and many of the things I was saying and doing under the influence. When I have a tough day and think about a drink, I think about what would happen next. Would I stop at one, most likely not….well one bottle of wine probably. I might be fun and relaxed, more likely I’d be asleep, quite possibly I’d be saying and doing things I’d regret. I would read negative in things people say to me, become angry and belligerent. All things I don’t want to be. So I then I think about who I do want to be…Someone calm, kind, considerate, there for my family and able to show it by my actions and my words. Once I’m here I don’t want a drink of alcohol, I’m happy with my soda and lemon every time 🙂 . Be gentle and kind to yourself, you can do this xx

      • Awesome! What a great strategy, thank you. I think slowing down & actually thinking things through is key, because I just don’t do that… not enough anyway…

    • Attempt 4. Mmmm i think everyone here would say they succeeded on attempt 1,004 – not to be recommended of course!!!
      Yes, thinking through is a great strategy, many interruptions to the dash for supplies. Make a list. Post here. Read all the advice in the Toolbox, get some good books about giving up, have friends to ring – the works! And loads of supplements and excellent nutrition can really help – + chromium for cravings apparently. Hang on in there, it is worth it.

      • Ah of course.. I am part way through studying nutrition too.. what a great idea.. chromium you say.. I’ll definitely look into it! And thanks, it feels better knowing it took everyone else a long time too…!

        • Don’t follow our lead though!!! Do it on your 4th try if at all possible 🙂 oh how we wish, even me as a late starter and managing to moderate wish I had not been so brainwashed and stupid, playing with fire.
          I am very interested in nutrition, should have studied it ( everyone here collectively sighs with boredom!) so it will be interesting what you discover works for you. Apparently alcohol, ‘as it invades every cell of our bodies’ strips us of so many vital things, even Drs prescribe B6, D, and magnesium to drinkers.

      • Hey Morgan.. I can’t reply to your last comment for some reason, but thank you! You actually sound quite a bit like me.. having partner issues (he actually lives overseas) I have teenagers that don’t need their mum that much anymore (and have more of a social life than me) but I do have lovely animals! A dog & 2 cats… they’ve seen some sights, I can tell you! This weekend I am hungover today so no chance of drinking tonight, but it will all start again tomorrow I’m sure…

        • This looks like a reply. Hey, teens may not appear to need you, but they do, very, very much, and they are watching, all the time! Mine were rapt I stopped drinking, though it was never much. They intuited my obsession I reckon, though I hid it pretty well … perhaps … always drove them and their friends to parties and collected often(sober!), did the breakfast queen thing, stopped before I slurred or showed any signs. But still, they are so happy and proud.
          What will start tomorrow? The craving or the giving in? What about a plan? And what happens if the teens DO need you to drive them or rescue them? XXX
          And how far overseas?! sounds worse than my situation. AND what is worse, is that one very close bestie is returning from bloody YEARS away, and is thinking of living in another city! I thought she was really looking forward to being close, even sharing a house for a while. Sob.

      • Yeah I know that the kids are definitely intuitive, and I really want to set a better example.. I guess what I mean when I say they don’t need me is they don’t take up all my time like they used to as they are off doing their own thing… more free time means more drink time!! Yeah I mean the urge will come back tomorrow… around about 4pm… and no I don’t have a plan but that’s prob a good idea! My (kind of) other half lives in Aus… long story and that’s definitely a point of stress for me ATM…

    • HALT is very useful too – take a minute to see if you are any/all of these: hungry, angry, lonely or tired. They are all huge triggers (for me it is almost always tiredness). Then deal with them – eat something, write your feelings down or tackle the issue face to face, rest or take some “me” time for yourself. Best wishes – you can do it xx

      • Thank you… I already know from that list that loneliness is my trigger… so yeah I know I need to tackle that issue… thank you heaps 🙂

        • I will call out to you and you can call back when lonely, ok? I am very sad and lonely as once more my house is empty (fabulous boarding couple left/ children and animals gone :() and my man far off and probably always will be, so … adjusting is so difficult. I knew 2 years ago this could be a rough time, so that was my D Day, no more relying on wine. Best thing I ever did for my health and mental state, but not easy.
          What are your weekend plans? Will they help clock up the days free of alcohol?

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    What an awesome message to recieve on my phone on Easter Sunday… Thank you 🙂 it’s awesome to have found a place where all these random strangers support each other through a shared problem. I have only posted on the site a few times, but have already had such awesome support just as you have. May you be strong and sober for a very long time to come 🙂 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Awesome, thank you! Yes I have done a lot of work on myself along with this process, so I know I have one of those personalities too! Time to use it huh!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thank you, I will check it out 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks guys… It’s a plan 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Do you ever feel like the odd one out though? Like you’re missing out? I don’t know whether I would or not, but I want to get to a place where I’m strong enough to test myself!

    • Yeah I do sometimes. Those are often the times when I make an excuse to go early. But they are happening less and less often and also when they happen if I can distract myself for a short time (even 10 minutes), they fade and sometimes go away completely.

      I broke after Christmas and drank again and really regretted it as I quickly got back into a habit of drinking every day. So I am more determined than ever to fight those feelings of missing out. Drinking just isn’t worth it.

    • Noelle is right – just below, and MrsD blogs brilliantly about all this – check her blog titles, something like it doesn’t matter what is in the glass, it’s the occasion, the company, the dancing, the food etc – and then the wonder of discovering WHOLE weekends to play in, and whole weeks feeling fit, healthy, clear headed, strong – truly, it is the best. Yes, some things you miss for a while, and maybe moments forever, but compared to what you gain … freedom, strength… so much. Keep reading, some books are great at smashing the terrible brainwashing we have brought into, all costing billions, but so worth it to the multi million drug pushing industry.
      Oh dear, I am rather ranty tonight sorry!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thank you for the encouragement… Yes, I’m thinking some sober friends might have to be the way to go… Just got to find those elusive spots where they hang out 🙂

    • They are usually at the movies, out for dinner, at shows, at the gym, at sports practice, hobby clubs and visiting friends. Basically all the places and things that can be done and enjoyed when you have the ability to drive there because you are sober…. something I missed out on for several years

  • Woo, back on the wagon today and feeling good about it. I had a bit of a feel sorry for myself moment when I realised that being Easter Thursday it seems that EVERYONE I know is drinking!! I considered it too for about a split second, and the moment passed and now I’m AWESOME! I’d love to hear suggestions though on how others have coped with this kind of ‘social alienation’ I guess you could call it- I feel like I’m the odd one out now, and strangely enough also the only one with any brains 🙂 🙂 – not really, but you know what I mean….

    • I went to the gym and did a Pilates class… Surrounding myself with people who don’t drink seems to work for me. Well done for being back on the wagon you are doing great.

      • Thank you for the encouragement… Yes, I’m thinking some sober friends might have to be the way to go… Just got to find those elusive spots where they hang out 🙂

        • They are usually at the movies, out for dinner, at shows, at the gym, at sports practice, hobby clubs and visiting friends. Basically all the places and things that can be done and enjoyed when you have the ability to drive there because you are sober…. something I missed out on for several years

      • And now you wont!!! 🙂 🙂 Fun, fitness, health, happiness 🙂 🙂 🙂
        Seek em out @Angel99 XX

    • Well done for stopping. I have used a number of things. Sometimes I use excuses (eg I’m driving, my stomach is sore, I have sport tomorrow); sometimes I use substitutes (AF wine and beer); sometimes I go home early. But to be honest whatever I use, I normally find that they quickly are more interested in their own drinking than whether I am drinking.

      • Do you ever feel like the odd one out though? Like you’re missing out? I don’t know whether I would or not, but I want to get to a place where I’m strong enough to test myself!

        • Yeah I do sometimes. Those are often the times when I make an excuse to go early. But they are happening less and less often and also when they happen if I can distract myself for a short time (even 10 minutes), they fade and sometimes go away completely.

          I broke after Christmas and drank again and really regretted it as I quickly got back into a habit of drinking every day. So I am more determined than ever to fight those feelings of missing out. Drinking just isn’t worth it.

        • Noelle is right – just below, and MrsD blogs brilliantly about all this – check her blog titles, something like it doesn’t matter what is in the glass, it’s the occasion, the company, the dancing, the food etc – and then the wonder of discovering WHOLE weekends to play in, and whole weeks feeling fit, healthy, clear headed, strong – truly, it is the best. Yes, some things you miss for a while, and maybe moments forever, but compared to what you gain … freedom, strength… so much. Keep reading, some books are great at smashing the terrible brainwashing we have brought into, all costing billions, but so worth it to the multi million drug pushing industry.
          Oh dear, I am rather ranty tonight sorry!

    • @Angel99 – check out
      The sober toolbox on the screen to the right. I’m pretty sure there’s a section on socialising sober- full of handy hints of what to say etc. I find that people are pretty absorbed in what they are doing and drinking and it doesn’t really matter what’s in your glass. Last Christmas I didn’t drink and no one cared!
      Just put something in a wine glass or say you’re driving or on antibiotics ( which I am at the moment ) Good Luck 🙂

    • Awesome, thank you! Yes I have done a lot of work on myself along with this process, so I know I have one of those personalities too! Time to use it huh!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thank you, you’re right, I haven’t lost those days, and they were awesome! Some of the best of my life. Yes I plan to take that advice 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Yes you are very right there. I’ve woken up this morning with my usual horrible headache so I hope the crappy day I’m about to have will be the kick up the butt that I need!!!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Really lovely, thank you for sharing 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Yeah you are right… I think I will have some time alone with my diary, get to the bottom of it! Thank you, I’m getting back on 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thank you, I intend to 🙂 yeah I tend to think I’m doing just great on my own… Then bam!! Think I really do need the support!

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 2 months ago

    Thanks! I know I am… Just gutted I’ve slid all the way down and starting the climb from the bottom again!

  • Well I feel a bit Sh*t right now.. Just logged in and saw my counter saying 19 days sober… But had to reset it to zero 🙁 had two cocktails with dinner tonight… Don’t even know why really… Have been feeling so awesome with myself for getting so far….!

    • It really is easy to pick up that drink. I’ll get a thought about it and then realise – hey ! What am I thinking???
      You are going in the right direction up that beautiful mountain in your profile picture

      • Thanks! I know I am… Just gutted I’ve slid all the way down and starting the climb from the bottom again!

    • You can still feel awesome just do it again. Keep posting it so helps xo

      • Thank you, I intend to 🙂 yeah I tend to think I’m doing just great on my own… Then bam!! Think I really do need the support!

    • Hi @angel99 it’s worth thinking about what it was that had you deciding to have those cocktails. If you can figure it out it is good learning for next time.

      Get right back on the horse now 🙂

      • Yeah you are right… I think I will have some time alone with my diary, get to the bottom of it! Thank you, I’m getting back on 🙂

    • @Angel99 Our inner addicts are sneaky buggers! We have to be aware of them and work at keeping them high and dry! Hopefully the longer we can do this the easier it will become. I learnt from my last slip up. It is a learning curve sometimes. Stick at it xxx

      • Yes you are very right there. I’ve woken up this morning with my usual horrible headache so I hope the crappy day I’m about to have will be the kick up the butt that I need!!!

    • You haven’t lost those 19 sober days and I’m sure your body thanks you for them! Maybe you can look back at the other night and ascertain why you decided to drink so you can avoid that in the future? Stay with us. 🙂

      • Thank you, you’re right, I haven’t lost those days, and they were awesome! Some of the best of my life. Yes I plan to take that advice 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Thanks so much! Yes, all those awesome feelings you have just described I now feel too… High on life, that’s me 🙂 I bet 171 days feels awesome!! Can’t wait to get that far myself….

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Yes I can see where you are coming from… It will be those hard times that become the test, but I think that the tools I’ve got from the book will cover it! That’s what I’m choosing to believe anyway 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Awesome! You won’t regret it.. Enjoy! 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Thank you 🙂

  • I was really scared about starting this attempt at sobriety (again), until I saw a post on this very site which encouraged me to read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol… I had used his stop smoking book previously so I knew he was good… But I can proudly now say the urge it’s gone!! I can see alcohol for what it really is.. And I have finally stepped off that dizziying merry-go-round… I’m sure you all know the one I mean!! I feel FREE.. And so excited like a little child… It’s the best feeling 🙂

    • A fabulous feeling you have created! Enjoy!

    • Call it a coincidence but I just stumbled over the author Allen Carr the same book you’re talking about after a random google search, read his reviews which were extremely high in ratings, I’ve reserved the book from the library. Can’t wait to get my hands on that book 🙂

    • Yes, Allen Carr is very good. I found that stopping drinking is relatively easy, it’s the maintaining one’s sobriety and learning to live with emotional sobriety that most of us struggle with

      • Yes I can see where you are coming from… It will be those hard times that become the test, but I think that the tools I’ve got from the book will cover it! That’s what I’m choosing to believe anyway 🙂

    • I haven’t looked back since Allen Carr’s book – yes some great tools, it just made so much sense and I liked how it wasn’t all preachy, was a really good read actually. I remember having the little ‘last drink’ ceremony all by myself, poured a huge huge glass of Chardy and thought long and hard about what I was putting down my throat and how it actually didn’t taste that good at all. I couldn’t finish it (normally a bottle plus per night) and tipped the rest down the sink. Day 171, best decision ever. Not all plain sailing but that natural high and feeling so damned proud of myself is better than any alcohol infused so called high. Bloody good on you for sticking it out….

      • Thanks so much! Yes, all those awesome feelings you have just described I now feel too… High on life, that’s me 🙂 I bet 171 days feels awesome!! Can’t wait to get that far myself….

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Well, you’re welcome! I’m experiencing the same sort of ups and downs as giving up that horrible habit.. So I know it’s similar… But yes, we did that so we can do this too 🙂 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Nice… Thanks for that, logically I know it’s true, I (eventually) gave up smoking like that… I CAN DO IT!! 🙂

    • Thanks Angel99 I gave up smoking 21 years ago… Never related the ability to do that with stopping the demon alcohol thank you

      • Well, you’re welcome! I’m experiencing the same sort of ups and downs as giving up that horrible habit.. So I know it’s similar… But yes, we did that so we can do this too 🙂 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    Yep, I’m in the same boat, but the way I choose to look at it is that at least if I’m sober and my teenagers get into any sort of trouble, I can be right there for them… If I was at home half cut I’d be unable to drive and would feel terrible for letting them down… That and I hope to be an example for them, so rather than lecturing them they might just pick up on how good I feel when I’m not drinking, and it might inspire them 🙂

  • Angel99 posted a new activity comment 3 years, 3 months ago

    I would LOVE to get to where you are at now.. Perhaps I can be of some support by saying thank you for being an inspiration for those of us who would like to get to where you are!! Keep it up!!

  • Angel99 changed their profile picture 3 years, 3 months ago

  • Day 1… Again! Still in pjs at 1 in the afternoon, tired even though I slept more than 12 hours (although somewhat restlessly)… The usual headache… And I only had 3 beers!!! -anyone that knows me however, knows that I have the most ridiculously low tolerance for alcohol, I get hungover about 1 hour after I finish drinking, and all day the next day… Why is the god damn stuff sooooo attractive when I know how bad I’m going to feel?? I need help getting through the tough moments, when I want a drink I argue with myself for about it, but it’s usually the drink that wins!!…. I’m soooo over it!!! Any advice greatly appreciated 🙂

    • Ride the wave of the crave. Get out walk,smell the roses, clean the bath, lie in sun. Anything to get you over that moment. Really it is only a moment in time, then the feeling is gone. The nxt moment will be fuck I made it,then on with your day. Xo

    • Nice… Thanks for that, logically I know it’s true, I (eventually) gave up smoking like that… I CAN DO IT!! 🙂

      • Thanks Angel99 I gave up smoking 21 years ago… Never related the ability to do that with stopping the demon alcohol thank you

        • Well, you’re welcome! I’m experiencing the same sort of ups and downs as giving up that horrible habit.. So I know it’s similar… But yes, we did that so we can do this too 🙂 🙂

  • Angel99 became a registered member 4 years, 10 months ago