• AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 5 hours ago

    Yes it does!!!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 6 hours ago

    Great idea to have a plan, SandyB, and to keep busy but also making sure you have down time…sounds like you got this. Keep us posted 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 6 hours ago

    I haven’t yet, chasingthedandelion, but I’m expecting a tsunami of emotions to hit once my lovely pink cloud dissipates…I’m preparing myself for the maelstrom.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 6 hours ago

    Good for you, Fatcat. Welcome. There is heaps of support here. 🙂

  • AndieT posted an update 2 days, 6 hours ago

    I heard this Incubus song on the radio today and even though I’ve heard it a million times I listened today with a new understanding. Here are a few of the lyrics that particularly resonated with me…

    Drive – Incubus
    “Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
    And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear take the wheel and steer
    It’s driven me before and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
    But lately I am beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel

    Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes

    It’s driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
    But lately I am beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found

    Would you choose water over wine, hold the wheel and drive?”

    Have a peaceful night all.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    JSAC, congratulations on making that decision…on choosing to be sober. That’s the first hurdle! Good luck.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Remember in that book/movie “About a boy”…it’s not about an alcoholic but a guy who has to fill in his day so he plans to do things in 30 minute increments because 30 minutes is a short enough time frame to do most things and by doing things every half hour he easily finds enough to do to fill up his day eg” have a shower, go for a walk, cook a cake, read the paper….etc. If you think of small things to do then it won’t seem so insurmountable maybe. Good luck and bring on day 2!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 8 hours ago

    Hi callumbrown. Perhaps underlying anxiety was one of the reasons you drank…to numb those feelings and now they are coming up to the surface. Natural remedies, lots of sleep and mindfulness (meditation/yoga etc maybe…) may help. I’m reading a book about coping with anxiety (its funny too…not too deep and meaningful)…it’s called “Calm the F**k Down” by Sarah Knight. Give it a try…lots of practical, easy strategies. 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 2 days, 8 hours ago

    Hey peterbarlow. I hear you. I know what it’s like to have to force myself to do even little things like take a shower or get out of bed. I would set myself tiny goals like “get out of bed and go sit on the couch.” “get up off the couch and turn on the kettle” “make a cup of tea and go back to the couch”…baby steps like that helped me get through some hard times while still experiencing a small amount of success and as things got a little easier I added more goals or made them a little harder “have a shower” “wash the dishes” “make the bed”. I allowed myself lots of rest and sleep and watching crap, meaningless shows on Youtube (marathons of old XFactor episodes got me though because I didn’t have to think LOL) Be kind to yourself and listen to your body. If you don’t feel like being around people then don’t. I take prescription anti-anxiety meds (I was using alcohol to self-medicate…well that was one of the reasons) Citalapram. I’m in NZ so I don’t know if you have that where you are (if you’re not a kiwi) but I find them helpful and they’re not addictive like diazapan. My thoughts are with you. Kia kaha-stay strong. 🙂

    • Grind through the rough parts, it will all become smoother @peterbarlow. No need to pressure yourself into doing unneccessary things right now. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. I just had to remind my self to do the same.

    • Thanks mate.Im on Mirtazapine anti d.Tried every other,and I mean every other AD and this is the only one I feel actually does something.But I’ve suffered depression all my life.Self medicated like yourself.Im 64,and have survived so far.I will not let this booze defeat me.Thanks again for your support mate.Even me replying reinforces my resolve.And yep,I’m a Kiwi bro.😊

  • AndieT posted an update 2 days, 12 hours ago

    Hi to all you lovely LS people. I had to pop to the shop today for milk and coffee and on the way there I had a bit of a flashback to all the times I have gone to that shop to buy copious amounts of alcohol and the vision really threw me. There were no cravings and I knew I wasn’t going to buy, let alone drink, any alcohol but the thought that if I wanted to I actually could was a little frightening. My husband is away at a conference so if I bought wine and drank it no one would know but me and this unsettled me. Then I thought about it some more and realised it was actually something powerful. The choice about whether or not to drink was mine and mine alone…and I choose not to. I have given myself the power and control back over alcohol and I felt a weight lift. And because I will be sober I can surprise my children by picking them up from school, instead of taking the bus, and taking them out with me for ice chocolate and a trip to the library. Small, but seriously important, pleasures. Arohanui all. (Much love) 🙂

    • @AndieT so good to know you have that power! And your children will remember times like this 🌞

    • Good for you @andiet! I had a few of those experiences this past month. my husband was away for days and I could have gotten away with drinking…had I wanted to, long stretches of alone time are still very triggering for me. One night I needed something and it was late, the nearest place with what I wanted was a liquor store I used to frequent. I had to steel myself a bit but I went in and made the choice not to buy anything other than what I needed. It was empowering in a way.

    • Love this! Well done!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 6 hours ago

    Well done on day6, DavidFS! Enjoy your drive home and pat yourself on the back. Safe journey.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 6 hours ago

    You need to keep yourself safe and that means avoiding situations like this. Even with all the resolve in the world this sounds like too much to try and cope with. Stay strong and stay safe!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 8 hours ago

    Yeah, you’re right Mrs D, all we’ve got is today. You might write 100 words tomorrow or 1000 but put your positive focus and energy into what you can today and smash that elephant. We’ve all got your back 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 9 hours ago

    I found this on Google…hope it’s useful 🙂

    Rescue Remedy, manufactured by Nelsons, contains five flower essences: Rock Rose to alleviate terror and panic, Impatiens to mollify irritation and impatience, Clematisto combat inattentiveness, Star of Bethlehem to ease shock, and Cherry Plum to calm irrational thoughts.

    We can also get rescue remedy pastilles which are also0 fantastic. Good luck

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 19 hours ago

    Hi claloula. I don’t know where you are in the world but here in NZ we have something called ‘rescue remedy’ (from the chemist/pharmacy- over the counter) I use it all the time when feeling stressed or panicky. Maybe you have something similar where ever you are. Good luck!

    • @andieT do you know what is in it? Super curious!

      • I found this on Google…hope it’s useful 🙂

        Rescue Remedy, manufactured by Nelsons, contains five flower essences: Rock Rose to alleviate terror and panic, Impatiens to mollify irritation and impatience, Clematisto combat inattentiveness, Star of Bethlehem to ease shock, and Cherry Plum to calm irrational thoughts.

        We can also get rescue remedy pastilles which are also0 fantastic. Good luck

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 3 days, 19 hours ago

    Morning sobermommy1013 from NZ. I too love waking up naturally and being able to get up and out of bed feeling rested, relaxed and calm. It’s a lovely way to start the day. Have a good one.

  • AndieT posted an update 4 days, 5 hours ago

    I don’t know why but for the last two days I have been feeling quite irritable and it’s really bugging me. I have been so calm and relaxed and mindful for 2 weeks I can’t understand where this irritability (mainly towards my hubby poor guy) is coming from. Is this normal? I hope it doesn’t mean the end of my lovely, luscious pink cloud. Help!

    • Hang in there. Use your toolbox, distract yourself and do something that makes you happy. It will pass.

    • Hang on in there @AndieT ! Not sure how far along you are but around week 3 I was exactly the same, a bloody nightmare. Insanely happy oneinute the next throwing stuff around like a toddler and so angry!! I could of just cleared off and never come back again. Then crying like a nut job. I just kept explaining and apologising that this was part of the process. Luckily they worked with me but it was bloody horrible. Quite scary to look back on now. I’m in day 53 now and still having moments of madness, but then again such is life. I think a large portion of it is just actually learning to live again and experience lifes events in a sober state without us being numbed in a bubble of booze. Hang on in there and focus on the fact this is part of getting better, xxx

      • Yep me too I felt like a complete bitch at times but it does pass honest. I’ve been left with a funny sort of not putting up with shit stance. People who mess me about get short shrift I can be kind and understanding but I’m too busy to be messed with. I think this is me being honest with myself. A lot changes in our personalities and our lives when we stop drinking stay with it its an amazing journey you will never regret.😺

    • It’s a pendulum. And, it provides contrast. How do we know what a good day is, unless we experience a not-so-good? The pink cloud will return. And don’t worry about your hubby, it’s something we signed up for.

    • My poor husband gets an ear bashing to @AndieT.. my pink cloud blew away to, but still focusing on staying sober. It will come back soon I’m sure. Yesterday I was irritable but just plain moody today.. early night I think for me.. does the trick tomorrow will look better. xx

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Good one, SandyB. I am about to re-read Mrs D’s 2nd book for the 2nd time, this time a little more slowly so I can take notes and soak it all in. U have a good night too. 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Go, suzkep. Will be keeping you in my thoughts x

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 4 days, 9 hours ago

    Hi DavidFS. I got it from the library last week and read it from cover to cover then ordered my own copy which arrived yesterday so I am going to read it again…this time with a highlighter LOL! Enjoy!

  • AndieT posted an update 4 days, 18 hours ago

    Morena all. Two weeks today, AF!
    My early morning mindfulness was thwarted again by Juju, my thigh kneading cat. But, I had planned ahead and put a thick blanket on my lap so I couldn’t feel her sharp claws as she happily drooled on me while she made bread LOL. So we peacefully did mindfulness together with her purring a lovely background to my breathing. Maybe I’ll have to list Juju as one of the tools in my toolbox! Ha
    Have a wonderful day everyone 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Keep looking forward, sobergirl2019. A journey of thousand miles starts with just one tiny step! You’ve taken that first step…keep putting one foot in front of the other 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Wow, suzkep, that sounds like it’s going to be very difficult for you. Is there anyone who is going to be there that will be a support for you? I think it would be a really good idea to go with some really secure plans in place so you don’t reach for the bottle if it gets hard. What safety measures can you put in your toolbox to keep yourself safe and sober. I really really wish you all the best. If you can post while you’re away know we are all here for you and have your back!! You can lean on us !

    • Thanks @Andiet – I have my dad and my son, I would be a fool to rely on my girl for this. I’m unlikely to drink there – I’m more likely to do so on the other side of the trip as a reward – that one is in the waiting 😀

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    I hear you, connilynn. I haven’t looked after myself since I had children…they always came first. Now I am starting to feel more comfortable about doing things for just me and not allowing any guilt to sneak in. You’re right too, even the smallest things can be self-care. One of my favourite times of the day is that first cup of coffee by myself while the house is quiet and everyone is still asleep. I sit and think and breathe and it’s a devine way to start the day. Thanks for your wonderful post!

    • Thank you @AndieT! One of the things I’ve really been enjoying is tea, and it occurs to me that I have a lot to learn from you kiwis on this sight. Anyone have any favorite teas or recipes they’d like to share? The iced tea I’m loving right now is a combo of hyacinth and black tea steeped together, with a touch of lemon and stevia. I pour it over ice and take a thermos to work with me. It makes me feel cared for!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Yep, Lee@, you’re right, everything will be ok. The fact that you are sober means that if there is a test for you, you are in the right place to face it. Kia kaha 🙂

    • Exactly @andieT. I dealt with some pretty annoying things today and got by pretty well, considering. Just tired now and glad it’s over.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Flowers? A weekend/night away? A show/theatre/musical etc? A cool piece of furniture? An experience (sky diving, bungy jumping, dolphin watching etc) I like the idea of the pekapeka. It’s something different. What about lessons for something she’s always wanted to do…learn piano, ballroom dancing, salsa, cooking italian, sewing…etc
    Good luck QueenMe. Have you said to her you’re having trouble and what would she really like/suggest??

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Hi kayla. Welcome 🙂

  • AndieT posted an update 5 days, 9 hours ago

    Day 14 and something I am really loving about being sober is…eating!! When I was drinking I wouldn’t allow myself to eat proper food because I knew I was getting thousands of calories from the alcohol so I was constantly hungry but without any appetite because of nausea. So I just didn’t eat…I have no idea how my body kept going on just empty calories. Now I am eating yummy, healthy (mostly LOL) food, even allowing myself chocolate or other yummy treats. It feels great to be nourishing my poor body…I’ve neglected it for so long. Hope you are well and staunch in your sobriety tonight. Wishing you peace 🙂

    • Go you. I used to limit my food intake too, so I could get the best hit from alcohol. When I felt hungry I’d drink.
      Crazy aye. Our poor bodies. Now you’re nourishing it. Well done

    • congrats on day 14, @andiet.

    • I am (was) the same way. Since I quit I can’t believe how hungry I am. I shudder to think how many calories from booze I was consuming.

    • I was sooo hungry when I stopped drinking too. There were plenty of nights I would cut calories elsewhere to drink more booze and now I feel like that is just so sad. I feel so much better and healthier now and I sure don’t feel bad when I eat chocolate 😉

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Hey, Erica375…in my very early days I would decide on one thing to do during the day, even if it was just to have a shower. Then I could manage 2 things a day, then 1 thing every hour (with lots of rest in between), then 1/2 hourly…
    I would tell myself to move slowly and consciously, patting myself on the back if I managed to do something but being kind to myself if I couldn’t face it. Lots of sleeping, resting, binge watching DVDs, drinking heaps of water…things that brought me easy, simple comfort helped through those tough early times.
    Like Lucy said…don’t be hard on yourself…it’s time to focus on you! xx

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Believe in yourself, SandyB, you can do it. Don’t waste time and energy about what’s gone before, keep looking and moving forward! What else have you got in your toolbox. Make sure you are setting yourself up for success!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Nice one, Ro. Kia pai to ra!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Fantastic, Erica375. One day at a time…sometimes one hour at a time…but every minute you stay AF is a success 🙂 Much love to you

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 14 hours ago

    Thanks, DennyD. What a lovely comment. Good luck to your BIL…tell hiim Kia kaha (if you’re a kiwi) or he can say “Yeah. Nah!” If not a kiwi tell him to lurk on this site for a while and see how many wonderful, brave, super people out there are AF 🙂 Have a great day!!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Thanks, Scared. Hahaha, I love Abstinence August!! I am totally using that 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Hey, Ro. My fav’s so far are Tim and Dee. I quite like Mandy too, she seems pretty authentic. The food always makes me hungry I want to lick the screen! I can’t believe the standard of cooking this year, it just gets better and better every year! I really admire them all for shooting for the stars and trying to achieve their dream. It’s inspirational. Reminded me I should get my long lost draft of a novel out of the drawer, blow off the cobwebs and give it another go!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Yay for you, JCSober. Welcome. Much love and support for you here.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    I totally agree, DaisyM. (I’m assuming you’re a kiwi too) Our NZ drinking culture is beyond appalling and I feel so ashamed sometimes that I haven’t been a good role model for my teenagers. If I tell them now not to drink how can they respect what I say when I have spent their formative years drinking myself. Good luck to your husband! I don’t think it’s easy for a man with our terrible pub/rugby/macho drinking culture. But from the texts I got from hubby saying he’d been AF all weekend I could tell he was so proud of himself. Have an awesome day, DaisyM…your hubby too 🙂

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Thanks, Ro and Lee@. I love that idea of creating a new me. I get to choose who I want to be this time round. Love it. Thanks

    • Well maybe not so much a new you but the real you and to hell with the bystanders! lol

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 17 hours ago

    Kia ora Ro in Invercargill. I am right at the very other end of the country! Good on you for resisting the urge. I get what you are saying about not much to do where you are…we are in a tiny place too so not a lot going on. I too am a Masterchef fan. It’s so nice to wake in the morning and not have to go back and watch last night’s episode all over again because I can’t remember any of what happened! I’m going to a play today with my teenage daughter. It’s about a murder so right up her dark, twisted alley haha.
    Hope you find something fun to do. If only we weren’t two entire islands apart we could hang out 🙂 Ka kite

    • That sounds like a cool day! I haven’t been to the theatre for years. I could probably do more along those lines to be honest. So I missed the first episode, and watched the 2nd last night. Who do you like? The food looked good already and it’s only just started. It’s a cracker day here but a frost has made it freezing. Hope you have a great time with your girl 🙂

      • Hey, Ro. My fav’s so far are Tim and Dee. I quite like Mandy too, she seems pretty authentic. The food always makes me hungry I want to lick the screen! I can’t believe the standard of cooking this year, it just gets better and better every year! I really admire them all for shooting for the stars and trying to achieve their dream. It’s inspirational. Reminded me I should get my long lost draft of a novel out of the drawer, blow off the cobwebs and give it another go!

      • Do it! I know who Dee is cos she got through in the Ep I watched last night, but I don’t know the other two yet. I know the standard is quite incredible. I laughed when one girl said her Mum thought her food is a bit wanky sometimes, cos I think some of it is too contrived, but the techniques and flavour profiles they create just look and sound spectacular. Will be my new thing to watch now MKR has finished

  • AndieT posted an update 6 days, 18 hours ago

    I work part-time and finish at 11am. On Friday when I said bye to my workmates and “Have a great weekend, it’s Friday!” one person laughed and said “Yeah, lucky you. You can go home and start your weekend now” wink wink (meaning start drinking) and…which to be honest, in the past I actually would have! But now, I was a little perturbed about what to say so I just laughed. But inside, my newly sober voice wanted to say “Oh, I don’t drink anymore” but it didn’t seem the right time or place. So I’ve been thinking about this conundrum…when you are sort of known as someone who likes a drink (or twenty) how do you go about changing that perception? We live in a community where the alcohol culture is prevalent. The people in my local shop look at me curiously now when I go in to buy things and don’t bring any wine to the counter. “Anything else?” they ask, their eyes flicking towards the wine shelves. I smile and breezily say “That’s all, thanks” but I can’t help but feel embarrassed.
    Oops, I think I’m rambling a bit…too much coffee…I guess my question is, how do you go about changing people’s perception of you…and in the end, do I really need to care what other people think? Ha!

    • yep hit the nail on the head with your last comment. What people perceive you to be – what does that really matter? Who gives a fuck? Only people that matter are the ones you love and what they think of you. And what people think and what is really happening are usually so far apart anyway. Create a new you and be proud of yourself-you are undertaking self improvement, and to hell with what people want to think, they’ll think it anyway regardless of whether it’s true or not 🙂

    • You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, lovely! If anyone asks, you could say easy breezy “I’m taking a break from the booze” or “it’s Abstinence August didn’t you know?!” (just made that up).
      You’re doing really well ❤️

    • Hi @AndieT What I discovered was that what other people thought was really of very little significance at all. It had only a very small impact on how I felt about myself. What really DOES matter is how I feel about my actions. What will really hurt me is when I do something that offends my conscience. But conversely what will make me feel good is when I do things my conscience applauds. Whether other people approve or not makes very little difference at all, it is how I see myself that counts.

    • I think at first it may feel uncomfortable but it’s more important to stay focused on what you need to, than to explain yourself to everyone else. Some people will make those cracks even if you have been sober for 10 years and they know it. They don’t really care what you’re actually doing; it’s just something social to say. If there are others who do actually care you can comment when you feel comfortable to. It’s not really anyone else’s business. If you’re outgrowing an old sense of yourself, focus on the growing.

    • Congrats @AndieT. At first I was eager to show people who were used to seeing me with a drink in hand that I could be the person without an alcoholic drink always. Then I used your approach and just breezed over drink suggestions. I like wise Liberty’s suggestion of focus on the growing. We don’t drink to make others comfortable.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 18 hours ago

    Isn’t it lovely to see how far you’ve come. Congratulations! It is great to hear you say you’re not ashamed of your secret. I think if more people opened up about their battles with alcohol society could start having some serious discussions about making changes to our shocking drinking culture. Have a lovely day, chasingthedandelion!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 18 hours ago

    Thanks for this post, JR. The more I read on this lovely safe place the more astounded I am at how many of other people’s experiences reflect my own…I thought I was the only one! It is such a relief to know I’m not alone!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    Welcome morotixe! Enjoy the love and support found here.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    Thinking of you and sending courage, love and strength…you can do it x

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 6 days, 19 hours ago

    Thank you for this post, Lucy. It could have been written about me…I totally get it, especially the watching a movie through one wobbly half-open eye. We watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy again recently (don’t know how many times I have watched it before) but this was the first time I understood what was happening and what it was all about! LOL…because I was sober this time round. It was a real Aha moment! Sounds like you are doing great!

  • AndieT posted an update 6 days, 19 hours ago

    Morning all. I woke up bright and early and feeling great at 5.30am (on a Sunday!!) so got up and sat in front of the fire with my lovely coffee for some mindfulness in the lovely quiet house. It’s actually very difficult to practise mindfulness with a drooling cat kneading your thighs with her sharp claws so I pretended I had to go to the toilet and now she’s sitting beside me purring…much more relaxing.
    So when I went AF 13 days ago my lovely hubby decided he would too to support me. He’s not a problem drinker, or even a big drinker. He can have one drink and stop but he decided to go AF too and cleared all the alcohol out of the house, even his extensive wine collection. I told him he didn’t have to…there’s alcohol everywhere in the world and I have to live with it, but he took it all into the garage and hid it. (I admit, in the early days I did go looking for it but dammit, he’s got a great hiding place somewhere in there!) He is in Auckland having a reunion with his mates from school and to watch the All Blacks play (rugby…and we won by the way!) and he texted me last night and said he’d been AF the whole weekend. I am very impressed. Being with a group of rugby mad men who are catching up after years of not seeing each other, it can’t have been easy to say “No beer for me, I’m having OJ” but he did it! What a man!!
    Have a wonderful day everyone, full of gratefulness and peace. 🙂

    • Love those sober mornings where you can take time to sit before the world wakes up! Rugby weekend and no drinking… that is an accomplishment! Great to have that support.

    • Wow what a man alright. My husband also decided to go dry last month when I started…then he went away with his mates to watch the all blacks play. Many beers later, he ended up in a strip club with his other middle aged married mates at 2 in the morning. He is very ashamed and hasn’t drunk since then and realises now that he has alot of work to do on his “social” drinking. It is so embedded in our culture, I am sick of it.

      • I totally agree, DaisyM. (I’m assuming you’re a kiwi too) Our NZ drinking culture is beyond appalling and I feel so ashamed sometimes that I haven’t been a good role model for my teenagers. If I tell them now not to drink how can they respect what I say when I have spent their formative years drinking myself. Good luck to your husband! I don’t think it’s easy for a man with our terrible pub/rugby/macho drinking culture. But from the texts I got from hubby saying he’d been AF all weekend I could tell he was so proud of himself. Have an awesome day, DaisyM…your hubby too 🙂

    • Wow that’s awesome! What a great hubby you have x

    • @andiet as tough as it is for women in this kiwi booze culture it is becoming far more acceptable to be AF thanks to the people like our beloved @mrsd . But it is not quite so acceptable for kiwi men as yet and we still have such a long way to go. I watch my brother-in-law (a big drinker) watch me being AF. He is starting to ask questions about being AF in a good way. But it is tough as all their friends and family are big drinkers and it would be a mammoth task for him.
      Kudos to you both, your morning sounds lovely by the fire with the cat, i’m envious as I just cannot drag myself out of bed at that time. Well done on your day 13!

      • Thanks, DennyD. What a lovely comment. Good luck to your BIL…tell hiim Kia kaha (if you’re a kiwi) or he can say “Yeah. Nah!” If not a kiwi tell him to lurk on this site for a while and see how many wonderful, brave, super people out there are AF 🙂 Have a great day!!

      • It’s tough for both sexes in NZ. I listened to a very annoying discussion on national radio’s The Panel on Wed in which the head of the Spirits and Liquor Council spoke a load of bullsh##t claiming a price rise in alcohol wouldn’t help curb the “heavy drinkers” in NZ, it would only punish the “vast majority” of “moderate” drinkers in NZ. Wallace Chapman challenged him but generally everyone skirted around it and everyone agreed that they like a drink. Then the next day , The Panel actually ran a wee survey and asked listeners to text in their “favourite pub”. I mean, seriously, WTF???? Alcohol causes so much harm in our society and I think it is absolute rubbish to claim that most people are “moderate drinkers”. I mean, seriously? As in 2 units maximum for women? One decent wine pour at a bar is 2 units and at home, well it can be 2.5 units for a large glass of chardy or high alcohol red.

    • If I abandon my always attention needy cat and go into the bathroom she follows me and sits on her haunches in front of the toilet looking at me mournfully. So glad to hear your husband is being that supportive, a good support system is essential.

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Yay for you SoberDaisy. Another win on your sober journey!

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Welcome tiredmumhamilton. You have come to an amazing place of support and non-judgement. I am a kiwi too, so I’m sending extra aroha to you x

  • AndieT posted an update 1 week ago

    Thought for the day…
    Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect, you just have to decide to look past the imperfections.
    (Source- random kitchen plaque given to me from my mother ages ago…rather an ironic gift to give someone with OCD I thought…LOL but you gotta love a trier!)

  • AndieT posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Arohamai, Sober4real, and to your son and his friend’s family. Much love to all. My heart goes out to you all.

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