I have battled heavy alcohol abuse for most of my life. I have had good long periods of abstinence but the risk and failure is ever present. My wife is long suffering. I have tried to be a good role model to my kids, but they have seen the best and worst of me. Very angry about the alcohol rich environment I was bought up in, and have been very conscious of that with my own. Cautiously optimistic as I move into Day 35. Life is pretty fantastic now. Clarity is my drive and nirvana.
Nestled in the mountains of NZ, the stars are simply stunning, it’s going to be a beautiful day. A period of rest and recuperation and some soul searching. I start day 35 in a contemplative and solid space. I am quietly confident yet still spend parts of each day reflecting on wasted time, regrets, and frustration. Anger because alcohol has a hold on me like no other. Enough of dwelling on the past. The future is bright. Sober and clear, rapidly losing weight, bright, fit and healthy. Optimistic about my new life. Not quite sure why I wrote this but needed to say something. Thank you. I suppose admitting to being an alcoholic is key.
Day 35 is fantastic. And you’re right to be optimistic. Yes the hard stuff in life still comes our way but to deal with it with a fully sober brain and body is hugely rewarding and certainly doesn’t carry an ounce of regret with it. Onwards and upwards xo
For me I will always regret the past. Some people say “no regrets” but I disagree. I will forever regret the dum things I said and did. It still makes me cry to this day. But it’s a healthy fear of not ever wanting to be that person again. I was imperfect and I made mistakes. Now all I can do is say sorry and show by my life that I truly am sorry for what alcohol made me become. Regret can be ok. It can help you move forward. Xo
Thank you, you have just hit the nail on the head, make peace with the past….that is something I have never ever come to terms with. There’s my project. Anyone out there with ideas on how to make peace with the past?