• 1 week complete. 🙂 So ready to keep going. I realized that after I stopped drinking I gained more focus, even on simple things, like painting my nails and focusing on my feminine side more. I gave myself a present of high heels that I’ve been saying I’ll get but kept forgetting to really try. I even see my room becoming more organized and spent time cleaning it today. That’s huge for me because I’m usually a big mess with zero motivation. Yay I feel my confidence really blooming.

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Hey truthangel, I also have ptsd and can relate to the feeling of anxiety. Your boss sounds like an uptight dick and you should be proud of yourself for accomplishing so much. I love fashion too but couldn’t create it, that takes talent. ;p Focus on that and your strengths, I know it’s hard but you sound like a hardworking person and if you can deal with all of that, then I know you can make it through. 🙂 I’m only on day 6 so you’re wayy ahead of me and that’s great.

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    You got this Suze. You’ll start feeling so much better soon and proud. It’s the best feeling ever. You’re doing good. 🙂

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    Thank you all. I made it to day 6. 🙂

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    @sober4real Thank you 🙂

  • Amorerose changed their profile picture 3 weeks, 5 days ago

  • Day 5 complete, almost a week. Yay :] So excited to see my boyfriend tomorrow and to be sober together.

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    @gage I know, today I almost caved but I got through it. I’m glad I found this place and therapy would be good for me. I’m just glad I finally realized how bad it was getting and it’s time to start a new life. :]

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Thanks for the support everyone. xx

  • Amorerose posted a new activity comment 4 weeks ago

    Thank you. No I am not seeing anyone but I am looking into finding a therapist. Any support would be great for me and it is nice to see other people going through the same process of becoming sober. I think after this week I’ll start to feel better and to no longer have any contact with that bar would be good for me. I just need some new hobbies. :]

  • Amorerose posted an update 4 weeks ago

    Hello everyone, I am on day 3 of recovering. I realized that I am a binge drinker and after blacking out last Sunday, a lot of trauma came back for me and again I put myself in danger… (I don’t want to remember everything). I have blacked out repeatedly over the years and it has put me in a lot of danger. I know now that I cannot moderate my alcohol intake and that bad things happen when I drink. I need to stop and I’m scared that if I keep going I’ll end up assaulted again. I am seeing someone and I don’t want to ruin it by losing control during my blackouts. My mom is an alcoholic and I don’t want to go down this road.

    The past week has been very hard for me and I legit feel mental. I don’t know if this is withdrawal or also a combination of all the trauma memories. I know at the bar I saw my past rapist and I confronted him when I was really drunk… it just felt like a bad dream. I am never going there again. I am so done and ready to heal and not numb myself out with booze.

    Thank you all.

    • What a traumatic, terrifying memory/person to confront. I’d be feeling really churned up too and my brain would be firing off in all directions. Do you see any one who can help you process all that?
      It’s usual in the first wee while after stopping drinking for our thoughts and feelings to feel really difficult to handle. Firstly we’ve taken away an anaesthetic so feeling can pour up that we aren’t necessarily used to handling in the raw, and secondly, booze affects every system including our brain chemistry. It all takes a while to settle down and requires some very tender self-care especially in the early days.
      So it could be that, and on top of that you’ve had this difficult traumatic experience brought to the surface again. Please be extra-kind to yourself right now if you can. Early nights, good food, lots of water, rest, rest, rest.
      And if you’re willing, some support to process that experience…? Take care. 3 days is epic. It will get easier with time.

      • Thank you. No I am not seeing anyone but I am looking into finding a therapist. Any support would be great for me and it is nice to see other people going through the same process of becoming sober. I think after this week I’ll start to feel better and to no longer have any contact with that bar would be good for me. I just need some new hobbies. :]

    • You are doing a great thing for yourself by choosing to ditch the alcohol. Definitely think it is great that you are looking for someone to talk to, it can only help. The first few days are tough and the brain can send your thoughts a bit haywire but for me after a week I started to feel heaps better. Hang in there and be kind to yourself😀

    • Lucy replied 4 weeks ago

      Lots of self care for you my love, lots of rest and loads if water.. have plenty of sweet things to eat and I would get to a doctor as soon as you can.. they can help find you help for that awful experience you had.. try and keep strong as I can imagine your poor head is every where at the moment.. and please keep sharing on here xx sending you so many hugs right now. xxxxx

    • gage replied 4 weeks ago

      Dear @amorerose Lucy is definitely on the right track. You need lots of self care and to be gentle with yourself. It would also be good for you to consider getting some medical help to help you with possible withdrawal and what you have experienced. It might be hard for you to do but there’s no shame in needing help. Meantime keep here with us. This is one of the most wonderfully supportive, non judgemental places you will find

      • @gage I know, today I almost caved but I got through it. I’m glad I found this place and therapy would be good for me. I’m just glad I finally realized how bad it was getting and it’s time to start a new life. :]

  • Amorerose became a registered member 4 weeks ago