• Agirl posted an update 3 months ago

    I haven’t ever felt more pressure to drink than in the last few days. Ugh. My soak sister in law (high performing, snobby…) is visiting with kids and keeps on saying I am silly for not drinking. Over it. Our values clash terribly already, highlighted by the fact that that even when I was drinking I would NEVER have pressured anyone else into drinking. At least I feel absolutely nil desire to follow her icky lead.

    • Ro replied 3 months ago

      Tell her to fuck off with her pressure and leave you alone

      • Soooo tempting @ro. So tempting. Might end up with a manicured nail in my eye 😉

    • Good on you for staying strong and sticking to your values .. for someone to try and change your values in such a way makes me wonder if she has her own crafty wine witch internally controlling her and seeking to influence and control you too ….. well done you on blocking that attack 😊

    • Seems that she is a very insecure person. Otherwise she would be able to accept your decision and to be glad for you. But if she tries to influence you in a bad way, she perhaps needs to cover her own problems? Well, they are not your problems, so stay calm, with a superior smile and give her a friendly NO!

      • She is incredibly secure on a very superficial and worldly way @seni. Not ready to confront anything.

    • The ignorance and naievty of some people @agirl! Your SILaw is so one of these–i know everything kind of dumb person!! Stick with you @agirl . You are much smarter than she will ever be. Im angry just reading about her!

    • What a Judgey McJudgeface @agirl.
      Bleugh. I hate being called silly, it feels dismissive. Don’t dismiss yourself.

    • From my armchair psychologist position, it sure looks like she just might be reflecting back on her own issues (with alcohol) @Agirl. Can you see that?

    • she sounds revolting.

    • Family dynamics can be such a trigger……my brother does the same. He has narcissistic tendencies and the word “compassion” does not work for him. I remember him shoving hard liquor in my face, mocking me, pushing me, insulting me, making fun of me, etc. just so I would drink with him…..The irony….our biological father is a fully-blown textbook alcoholic and I was well on my way to follow that path.

      It took a LOT to stand up to my brother but after some practice and reading the book “Boundaries” R51 on here recommended…I now barely feel that stomach-pain when I stand my ground in confrontational situations with him. I do my own think and think: Fuck it.

      The question is:

      “Why would you want me to do something that would cause me harm?”


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