• Agirl posted a new activity comment 3 days, 5 hours ago

    Cancer sux. Sorry for you loss Ro.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 3 days, 5 hours ago

    Yay Wahoo fantastic!!!! Who knew eh? It’s the best kept secret. Good for you!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 3 days, 15 hours ago

    Oh wow. Thanks for noticing this. That’s exactly IT.

  • Agirl posted an update 3 days, 15 hours ago

    Jeepers it feels good to be sober!!!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 6 days, 15 hours ago

    Good advice thank you!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 6 days, 15 hours ago

    You are so right- my needs HAVE changed. I’m much happier in my own company for start. But may have taken that a bit far…

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 6 days, 15 hours ago

    It’s such a push- pull thing isn’t it!!! I wonder why? Natural craving for other people vs bad experience? I don’t know. Interesting to observe!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 6 days, 15 hours ago

    Just life as you say. That’s not so bad really. It’s mostly mundane stuff with occasional highs and lows. And that’s ok. Hats off to you for all your work. You be achieved so much by plugging away. Impossible to do that well while under the influence. You sound beautifully free to me 😊

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    A lot of similar things to a Psychiatrist. They are both very familiar with that medication and it’s effects. Either one would refer to the other if needed. ( in an ideal world!). Either would be a good place to start.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Wow you sound in such a good place. I’m really happy for you. Your language and vocab has changed so much over the past months. It’s beautiful to watch.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Hi and welcome @shell43.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Sounds like Neurologist or Psychiatrist territory to me. Could you get to see one?

    • yes im sure i can set something like that up. i wonder what a neurologist would do?

      • Agirl replied 1 week ago

        A lot of similar things to a Psychiatrist. They are both very familiar with that medication and it’s effects. Either one would refer to the other if needed. ( in an ideal world!). Either would be a good place to start.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Sounds like you are at a crossroads? The way ahead isn’t easy, but is more worth it than you can imagine.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Welcome @truemanbeing! Great name.

  • Agirl posted an update 1 week ago

    326 days and I am soooooo bored. Previously I could just dial up some fun in a bottle (temporary solution and usually followed by pain and self- loathing). A strategy of sorts. Now I have lots of hobbies but must admit I’ve cut myself off from most people except family. I actually don’t enjoy socialising as much as more. Or can’t be bothered, or something. I see lots of people at work, that’s fun and I really enjoy my team. But the thought of a social gathering just for the sake of it- ugh. The funny thing is I think I need it. I don’t even mind being around others while they drink. Not tempted, it’s not for me.
    I think it’s time to pull back on all the introspection. Enough. I can still enjoy my yoga, mediations etc. But also need to add in some friend fun. I really enjoy people normally, this is very weird for me. Ok then, that’s my mission. Get out more 🤣.
    Thanks for listening everyone. I haven’t been posting much but you lovely folk are always on my mind. We are stronger together. ❤❤❤

    • Understand – it’s finding a balance – I veer towards isolation naturally – I like it – but I know it’s not always good for me – then I make myself face to face people. Right now I would like not to see anyone for a month – fat chance of that 😀

      • It’s such a push- pull thing isn’t it!!! I wonder why? Natural craving for other people vs bad experience? I don’t know. Interesting to observe!

    • Hello, @Agirl. Your post got me thinking about my own situation. I never needed much social interaction, although I love being around family members. Every once in a while I realize I should get out with friends, and I always have a good time, but it’s very draining for me. Perhaps, at almost a year sober, your needs are changing?

      Best of luck with this new challenge. I’d love to hear how it goes.

      • You are so right- my needs HAVE changed. I’m much happier in my own company for start. But may have taken that a bit far…

    • good morning, @agirl. i try to say yes most of the time someone asks me out. not every time, but most of the time. i figure i don’t have to stay long and i can just do a drop in for a few hours or a few minutes. it helps me, but my family is not around much, close but not around a lot. glad to hear from you. congrats on 326, what a great accomplishment.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Oh well said. Those thoughts and feelings…they’re just thoughts and feelings. Well done!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Thanks for this timely reminder that the bad days don’t last @Lucy. Have a great day out there!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Number one: it’s not your fault. We do what we know, even when that’s bad. Which doesn’t mean you’re not responsible for how you act in the future, just that there’s no point blaming yourself for the past. It doesn’t help. Be kind and gentle on yourself and so proud that you can see the alcohol trap for what it is.
    Kia kaha!

    • Thank you @Agirl for your very true post. Yes, responsibility makes THE big difference perhaps, my father never felt or acted responsible, I do and try a change, like we all inhere. Stay strong and have a nice week!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Hi @68notout! I hear ya- the aloneness of travelling this journey can be hard. There are a few of us from LS here in the Waikato- you are not alone!!! I’m happy to see if anyone else is keen to meet up as a group. I have been to one Auckland gathering and it was amazing to be with so many people w/o speak my language. I would also be really happy to meet you! I’m not quite at 1 year sober, now counting down the weeks to that happy anniversary. I too still have random hankering for wine.. “go on relax, you deserve it” but hell no 😡. Just say the word….

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    How lovely that you are spending the day with your 16 year old. What a treat for both of you!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Love the analogy of the going away party and cleaning up the mess! I so agree- the head stuff can be brutal. So so worth it though 👌

  • Agirl posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago

    Day 294. A quick check in to say- oh my god the sober life is amazing!!!! My body and brain are saying a massive thank you to me at the moment.
    I did have a rubbish month of winter blues but that seems to have passed, certainly not my usual winter-long low.
    I’ve just turned 50 and if I could bottle all of the surprised looks when people find out that I’m THAT OLD!!! 🤣🤣🤣
    Still doing lots of work on who I am ( now that I can think straight and grow up a bit), being kinder to myself ( another great side effect of no drunkenness or hangover).
    In the background I have to confess to being a bit pissed off at myself for repressing myself for so long. WTF. But that doesn’t help anything so I’m not spending any energy on that dead end thought. But aaargh. Really.
    Stay strong in your sobriety people!!! Do whatever it takes not to take the first sip. So many great tools and ideas here on this site. Kia haha!
    Take care out there all, and be very very kind to yourselves.

    • Oh hai agirl! Nice to hear you’re doing so well 😊

    • Well done you! So full of energy and enthusiasm….awesome

    • Beautifully said agirl. Just verging on 300 days, go you👍You are so right…. sober life is amazing. I’m sitting on 489 days and I still pinch myself, the enormity of being free of that stuff gets right in to the core of your soul. I love the bit about growing up….They say that when you drink the way we did, you get stuck in an age void. I reckon that’s so true. Congrats on your huge achievement💖

    • Happy Birthday @agirl. You sound like you’re in a very good place 🙂

    • Ohhh so much to love about your post…..oxoxox
      If I forgot a happy belated birthday wish you way you sweet sweet soul. It has been very healing and a privilege to connect with you here.
      You get it.
      All of it.

      oxoxox

      Day 294……
      We better start looking for a day 300 sober-treat!
      🙂

      Lots of love your way.

      oxoxox

    • Your enthusiasm is so inspiring to me to keep on keeping on! 🙂

    • Well done!!

    • great post, @agirl. glad to read you are doing well and continuing the journey.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Fantastic words! Thank you ♥️

  • Agirl posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    “Scottish psychiatrist RD Laing described drinking as ‘a way of coping that makes you less able to cope’. ” This is a quote from an iListener article on “wine mum’s (moms)” Just so true. Thanks for sharing Mrs D. As the prof goes on to say the things that really help you cope are good for your health, like exercise, etc.
    As an ex wine mum in my opinion the sooner we bust myths about drinking the better. I feel like it’s gaining momentum…😊
    Have a great day sober whanau!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Success- well done! You’ve handled a few triggers there nicely !

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh my goodness 2 years!!!! That’s just awesome, well done!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Well basically it’s really unpleasant watching people do that to themselves. Ugh. Especially when you have reached a point of actively choosing not to do that yourself. I’m still battling a bit with this myself. My husband and his friends can’t seem to even have morning tea and a scone without adding beer. For one thing it really strengthens my resolve not to go back there! At the moment I’m managing this by leaving early if necessary. But also choosing my social situations more carefully. It’s working for now anyway.
    Good luck!

    • In 20 years with my husband I’ve seen him drunk about 3 times – and that was only because I was pregnant. Every other time I’ve been about 4 x more drunk than him. Honestly, the scenes he has had to put up with (mostly without a whisper of complaint) is incredible. Either he’s a saint or he loves me a ridiculous amount or he likes me being a messy wasted vicious smelly mess. I’m going to hope its the middle option! In any case, for me if he does get drunk I think he gets a few free passes 🙂

    • thank you

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks so much @sober4real, @dennyd, @mari135, @morgan, @saorise, @narley! It was a really sweet and special day. I’m feeling cherished ☺️.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Ha! You do a great line in smartarse!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh pox that’s no good! May those drugs kick in asap. Yes am doing dry July 😉 Following dry June, dry May etc… Sobriety rocks!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    An early night sounds like the perfect strategy @mandles. Sleep well and wake sober!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    You sound so happy and calm! Congrats on 30 days, that’s just wonderful.

  • Agirl posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Happy birthday to me! My first sober birthday since I was last pregnant (about 20 years ago!!!) While I would not have been rolling drink on most of them I would have considered chugging back a bit of prison to be a treat. And on a few of them I would have got blind. Soooooo great to be free of that, such a release and relief.
    I need to change my profile- I’m not a nearly 50 year old, scrub the nearly. Half a century feels good! Sobriety feels excellent. Don’t get me wrong- I do not miraculously have the perfect life now that I’m not drinking. I’ve had awful winter blues this year along with all the fun that entails. But for the most part my sober life is much much better. No hangovers- yes! No headaches- yes! No nausea- yes! Instead I have the challenge of growing up in a few areas of life that I have been avoiding for the last 20 years. Which is a good thing, just takes work.
    It’s also nearly day 300, haven’t looked for awhile. Pretty pleased with myself at this point in time 😄. So people in early days of sobriety- keep going!!! So so worth it, please hang in there. Keep posting, it really helps.
    Have a great day sober whanau! Oh and did you know- 2 July is THE middle day of the year?! (In a non leap year).

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Wahoo that just brilliant!!!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Oh @missfreedom. Beautiful. Strength and love to you.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hmmmm. It sounds to me ( and please correct me if I’m wrong!!!) that your husband supports your decision entirely, but doesn’t understand HOW to support you. Sort of like a “language of love” thing where someone loves you but their method of showing you isn’t one you understand, so you don’t feel the love.
    It really is like he’s thinking- thank god that’s over, now we can get on with living. Not realising the work, emotional energy and basically various levels of internal torture that it takes you (us) to achieve that!!!!
    As @cascadeclimber said, it might help both of you to have a discussion about activities and places that you need to limit just now. It’s not nice that you had to sit in a cottage listening to leery comments about your drinking this early in your sobriety. You certainly don’t have to put up with that.
    He sounds wonderful, I have to say. My husband still drinks, which is the pits. And he won’t cycle- although he might do if there was a pub at the end of it 😝.
    Congrats on day 3 you- I think you’re amazing 💐💐💐💐.

    • Agirl….wow that second paragraph is so true! I’m thankful for your insight.I really feel that everyone on this sight truly understands what I’m going through.Thank you

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome here @dreamunoz75.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hi and welcome!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    It’s a wonderful thing we have here @hammer123. Very very precious to me. Thank you for your support too. 🌹🌹🌹

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    Hiya ther e are a few of us in the Waikato, and I also visit Tauranga quite frequently. We could catch up!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Ha great strategy- love it!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    You’re a trooper @janus2.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Lucy that’s so great. You are doing so well! How wonderful that your employer is so supportive. Keep going!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Nice to hear from you Buckeye! You have a great sober day too.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    But you have so much to offer! I hear ya with not needing the bs though. Sounds like a great idea to sleep on it.

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Welcome @mopar!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Oh wow Shez well done that’s fantastic!!!

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks @mari135! Seem a this anti low mood thing is a constant active process. Onward!

  • Agirl posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Morena all. Im determined that winter is not going to sit on me anymore. Low thoughts are not allowed in my brain, not even one. I can nip them in the bud, I just have to actually do it. On that note, my focus for this week is loving kindness. One of the things that happens when my mood gets low is that I’m quick to anger and don’t like humanity very much. Actually I despise it, which makes me spiral down down down. So I’m flipping it- causing myself to feel love and warmth for everyone around me. It works – bizarre!!!
    I do feel like I’m growing up very very late. This is the kind of stuff I could have worked out years ago if I hadn’t been in a convenient avoidant drunken/ hungover fog.
    So my lovely sober whanau- I hope you have a good day/ evening. You are one group I always feel warmth for – we’re in this together and we are going to be ok. Loving kindness!
    Arohanui all xxxxxxx

    • Oh goodness, how I needed to hear that today as I just got done doing a DailyMail junk news round and….I am yet again reminded to be less online and more in the real world…because people are mostly good. It’s just when the worst of the worst is shoved into your face every day (like when I consume news) that I get low.
      You have my compassion for those winter blues waves. I dread them every year and get into a lower point when I first adjust to winter.
      It’s June here so it can only go uphill for you guys down there now!!!! Longer days every day after June 26, I believe, or even sooner.

      You got this.

      oxoxoxoxox
      We will walk through that wee second half of winter alongside each other, anytime you need a place to share.

    • Love your post and “flipping your thinking.”

  • Agirl posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Funny how the world seems to send us these lessons every now and then isn’t it. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

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