Around six years ago I went to a counsellor for stress/anxiety/depression. She quickly spotted the signs and referred me to ‘CADS’ (alcohol/drugs addiction support service) - I had in fact spent many years aware my drinking was spiralling. I was the typical ‘party girl’ turned ‘social mum drinker’ but for me I couldn’t control it.Two years of addiction counselling aimed at reducing my drinking failed to get me below a bottle of wine a day and I ended up going through a medical detox in March 2015 with an initial goal of three months dry. A year later, another detox March 2016.Reflecting on three years later, in some ways I feel I’ve failed - I haven’t stayed ‘clean’ all that time though I’ve had periods (up to 400 days) of being so. In other ways I congratulate myself that I’ve drunk probably less than 5% of what I did in the preceding 3 years.However my goal remaings ‘living sober’ and I continue to re-commit to that. This community really helped me stay sober for the first 400 days, and since then the friendships I’ve formed here have helped me not fully relapse to the bad old days. March 31 2019 and I am looking forward positively and hope.
Well here I am in the States, enjoying a fantastic AF holiday. Started in San Fran for a few nights being very touristy – Alcatraz, Golden Gate bridge, Cable Cars, etc. drove down the Pacific Coast Highway (beautiful!) and we are in Vegas for a 3 nights. next few nights driving a big loop round the Grand Canyon – Zion National Park, Page, Sedona – and then flying down to Austin.
I won’t lie – plenty of triggering moments – we’re eating out a lot and that drinks menu is getting handed to me a lot – and particularly on The Strip where everyone’s got a drink in hand, often a mini yardglass!. just trying to be very present when I have that ‘missing out’ feeling and be grateful that I’m not missing out on any of this experience in a haze or hungover.
How cool! Don’t forget you’re not missing out on anything, it’s all a trick in your mind. Hope you can share some more of your trip if you get the chance-love to hear what it’s like in Austin. Have fun 🙂 Safe travels
I dined with 11 others every night in Italy on the Intrepid tour and they were all drinking and talking about the wine in depth. I felt proud, not left out. I honestly felt like the smartest one in the bunch, whatever they might have thought of me! I felt I was the only one who’d woken up. Enjoy your cool holiday. Clarity is the new black! Xx
After you posted this I asked the very next restaurant (only a chain restaurant, but still) if they had any mocktails and they told me their list of sodas. at least I get ‘bottomless’ diet cokes as most of these place!