• 68notout posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Go you Smartee Pants.

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Go you. 21 days is great. Just one day at a time was my theory & so far it has worked. I still take myself off to bed early to avoid staying up alone (which was often the time I would scull another couple (at least) of very strong vodkas). I love going to bed & the feeling that I have won another day (802 in fact). Tomorrow sure is another day.

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    How about volunteering. My husband & I volunteer for Hospice 2 days a week each. It is so satisfying when I get home each day & I am with like minded people.
    I also joined a gym where I am the ‘gym Nana’ . Love being around people younger than me & hearing all about their lives as they raise young families etc.
    I do think that we sometimes have to give a little bit to get a big bit in return

    I can however clearly remember the first time someone said hello to us in the main street. Was such a welcoming sound

    • Yes I threw myself into volunteering in my previous place and miss that. I’m looking at opportunities to get involved in something here (small town)

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Look after number 1. She is the mopst important person in your life

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Well done getting 2 days under your belt. Re direct those thoughts to day 3. Each minute, each hour is closer to getting day 3 done & dusted & moving on to day 4.
    You can do this, for you.
    Something that worked for me was getting through the day & focusing on going to bed. That then took 10+ hours out of the day. When I make the bed each morning I still think how good it is to get into at night. Has become my place of comfort after getting through another day.
    I am at 783 days, but each day I do still have to work on it. Keep up the good work & I look forward to following your journey as you tick off the days.
    Good luck, you can get through day 3 & then focus on day 4

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 4 months, 3 weeks ago

    Well done Chordaroy. When you wake up from that lovely AF sleep, concentrate on Day 2 & then celebrate the end of that day & sleep through till Day 3. The days will count up & before you know you will be feeling so great you will have all new thoughts for each day & wonder why you had not done this sooner. Good luck

    • The first part is hard but soon it will be over and you will feel lighter…there are so many on this site with you in this…give yourself a chance to live the way you want to. With you in this!

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    I love your comment ” nobody regrets being sober” thank you

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Hey no one is ‘useless’ in life. We all have a purpose & that includes you. You are obviously a skilled tradesman at what you do. Maybe set yourself the goal of one day at a time. The future is a very big space so just the next 24 hours is what is important right now. Good luck. you have come to the right place as no one is judgemental here. We all know the struggle

  • OMG, those of you in NZ. I have just finished watching the Dr Phil show about 2 alcoholic young parents. All I can say is thank the lord for being sober. I think that is worst alcoholics I have ever seen. My jaw is still dropped from watching
    I thought i was bad 731 days ago but my journey was nothing after watching that show. Dr Phil offered them help that was thankfully accepted.
    If I wasn’t sober, after watching that, I would hope I would begin with day 1 today to get sober.
    Alcohol is a killer. If it doesn’t medically kill you, it will emotionally kill you & steel away the good life we each are given & deserve.
    Thank you Living Sober friends for your help in my journey to sobriety. If you are struggling please reach out to us all out here in LS land & we are here whenever for what ever

  • I am so proud of my self today & as my husband doesn’t really do praise I thought I would boast here amongst my LS friends. 720 days since alcohol passed my lips. I cannot believe it. Never, never, never would I have thought this day possible 2 years ago.
    I was/am an alcoholic who drank for 36+ years. It was getting worse, I was drinking more & feeling worse every morning. Every day I swore I wouldn’t drink, but time rolled round & by lunch time the bottle would be out & I would be into it.
    Not any more. I know I am a better wife, mother, Nana, sister & friend & just a better person for me.
    I do still find every day a struggle & think about a wine or vodka constantly. I could not bear to see “1” on that daily calculator so that keeps me on track.
    Every day is a new day & every day is a good day.
    Thank you Living Sober world for your on going support to each & everyone of us

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Congratulations. Well done to you. I support your comments completely & agree 100%. I am just 14 days short of 2 years & yes it is so nice to wake up bright eyed & bushy tailed. I’m 71 & feel better than I ever have in the past 35 years. Keep up the great work on your self for yourself. We are important & we musn’t forget that

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    Mrs D I think you are amazing & you are the reason & motivation that I am now 693 days sober & at the very least, $11880 better off. That is only the $$ record of what I would drink at home. So I would reckon the savings could be be nearer $13/14,000.
    On reading your book I felt like you wrote my life story & life style. Hence here I am a much better, wiser, richer, sober wife, mother & Nana.
    Yes I agree. Why to places so often only have coke & orange juice as non alcohol. I don’t like either of them. My choice is ginger beer & very often that is not available.
    Sometimes us sober soles feel a bit left out. But my gosh it is worth it
    Thank you for a fantastic site & for every body out there helping each of us through sobriety & a healthier happier lifestyle

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    I think it is what works for each of us. Everyone is different, we just have the same end goal in sight

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Yes, stay strong coz you can do it. Just one day at a time. Get through today & then tomorrow is another new day

    Well done getting to day 17. Tomorrow is day 18

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 8 months ago

    Hi Tim, my experience of AA is also not good, hence it didn’t work for me. My reality was a hangover – something I had not had in years. I had been drinking too much for at least 35 years. Went to the doctor & she was very supportive & prescribed Antabuse & encouraged counselling. I did both & 651 days later I’m very proud to say I have not had a drink. Although I am a believer that you can never say never. Exercise also plays a big part in my life. I am 71 & never been so fit & lost 13kg in that time
    One day at a time is my motto & I go to bed each night thanking myself for getting through another day. Ginger beer is my drink of choice.
    You can do it. Day 6 tomorrow Then day 7 & that’s one week down. Good luck

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 8 months, 2 weeks ago

    I meant to say Juliette that I am now $11,000 better off. Dream of what you can do with the money you save as you tuck yourself up in bed for the night. Another new day tomorrow

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 8 months, 2 weeks ago

    Sweet dreams & look forward to day 3. You are allowed to be a bit grumpy, it’s a tough road

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 8 months, 2 weeks ago

    Don’t hate yourself Juliette. You are a good person who at least is acknowledging an event in their life they are not happy with. Put your slip up behind you & focus on a new day & at the end of that day focus on the next new day ahead. You deserve better so don’t beat yourself up. Beat yourself up if you make the same slip up again. One day at a time.
    I did seek medical help & was given pills from my very supportive doctor & as she drilled into me that I would be ill if I took alcohol, I was too scared to drink & 637 days later & $1100 better off I still have to focus each & every day to resist the temptation. Some days it is very hard but just look after yourself & promise yourself treats every few days. My big treat was that we had new carpet in the house with my savings.
    You have a huge LS community out here supporting you. Don’t know where home is for you. My home is Waikato NZ
    Big breath Juliette & love yourself

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 12 months ago

    One day at a time – that was what has got me through the past 531 days.
    After suffering a hangover (which I rarely did) I decided I had to do something for ‘me’
    I took a big breath & went to the doctor to make my confessions. She was wonderful & so supportive & understanding. I was prescribed Antabuse. I had heard the terrible outcomes if you drink whilst on the medication to I just concentrated on that & have done every day since then. The better I felt the prouder I became of what I was doing for “me”. My family had suffered over the 30+ years but I had been suffering more inside.
    Everyday I think about a drink but have focused on the positive outcomes & this seems to keep me going. Also as my friends realised I wasn’t drinking, the obvious question was – why. I was honest & admitted I was drinking too much & since then they have nothing but praise & respect . Good luck with your journey. You can do this. LS land is a great place to check in on as there is so much helpful hints & suggestions from persons who know & understand what we a re all going through
    YOU CAN DO IT – ONE DAY AT A TIME

    PS: I also found – & still do – going to bed early helped take the temptation away. I brush my teeth & hop into bed around 8.30 & enjoy my time reading or writing in my gratitude dairy

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Go you.
    Congratulations. I understand the wonderful feeling & that magic 365 just seems to feel so good. Keep up the great journey

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Hi Fluffyknickers (love the name). What try for just one day at a time. you know you can do it Monday/ Thursday so why not add Friday to that. Yeah Friday done, so I’ll give Saturday a whirl & slowly add a day & you will realise, I am sure, that you are feeling better more days out of 7 .
    I so believe that one day at a time is what does it

    Good on you for joining up here as this is step one on your new journey

    Good Luck

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Thank you all for your supportive comments. Yes Libertynow I hadn’t thought ahead as to how much clearer everything will be with a sober head. Also I will not be constantly thinking ahead about where we can go etc. so I can get a nother drink. Also the cost saving that I can now spend on something else. We are cycling in & around Venice for 7 days & then a river cruise from Praque to Budapest. Then on to my daughter (who gives me so much encouragement) in Dubai for 10 days.
    Oh boy this journey has been so worth it & this site is so great

  • 68notout posted an update 1 year ago

    Just have to share.

    500 days sober & $8571 plus better off.

    New carpet & a cool o/seas trip planned as a result

    • Wow! D500 is a fantastic achievement and all those $$$$ saved. Good for you!

    • Kirst replied 1 year ago

      500days is fantastic! Awesome effort! Hope you have a lovely treat planned for yourself x

    • Wow! 500 days is a massive achievement. Congratulations to you and you so deserve those amazing treats from all those $$$ saved. Sober holidays are the best….really living it instead of through the fuzzy hungover perspective of those drinking days. Enjoy and savour every minute xxx

    • Wow what a fantastic milestone @68notout !!!!!

    • Awesome! Huge congrats on your milestone!

    • Absolutely Brilliant 68notout! Well Done!

    • Woohoo! That’s amazeballs.

    • Holy Nora that is so cool! I’m going to get there!

    • Woo hoo!! You are awesome!

    • Thank you all for your supportive comments. Yes Libertynow I hadn’t thought ahead as to how much clearer everything will be with a sober head. Also I will not be constantly thinking ahead about where we can go etc. so I can get a nother drink. Also the cost saving that I can now spend on something else. We are cycling in & around Venice for 7 days & then a river cruise from Praque to Budapest. Then on to my daughter (who gives me so much encouragement) in Dubai for 10 days.
      Oh boy this journey has been so worth it & this site is so great

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Well done ralph3479. One week down & more to come. Luckily I did not really suffer any health issues when my journey started. It was just my mental state to keep going. One of the best tools I have found is to log on to this site each day & pat myself on the back as I saw the number of days sober ticking up. And the biggest incentive is the $$$$ I could not believe how much I had been spending
    489 days later, I had new carpet laid throughout the house with the money I had saved. Every day now when I walk around the home I feel the carpet on my feet & think how far I have come
    Your health will improve daily & thinking clearer is a great feeling.
    Be proud of yourself & check in with us each day

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Don’t hate yourself. Love yourself for choosing a new path in life. Day 1, becomes day, etc. Just get through each day.
    I would get through the day then go to bed early to keep me away from the drink. 487 days later I still love going to bed. It is ‘my time’. I write in a gratitude diary (given by a daughter) & it gives me time to think about me & how proud I am of myself.
    Good luck. You have so much support out here in AF land

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Well done to you. Day by day. Don’t think past today as tomorrow will arrive & you can work on it then

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Well done redwinegoestomyhead. No need to feel fragile & upset as you are the strong one, not them. Be proud of yourself for the journey you have chosen to be on. They are the ones that ‘ won’t be much fun’ as they fall down drunk, don’t remember the next day etc., etc., etc. Hold your head up high & continue to count the AF days & tick every one of them off as a milestone. Proud of you for hanging in there & not drinking. You will remember the wedding so much clearer

  • 68notout‘s profile was updated 1 year, 1 month ago

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Yeah for you. Big milestone in 2 days Keep up the great life. I didn’t know how good it could be

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I was once told. Fix what you can – forget what you can’t

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Well done Brummiebird. What an achievement. Think of how much $$ you have saved. I also like the idea of finding something positive in each day. My daughter gave me a gratitude diary & most nights at bedtime I think of something good that has happened in the day & I also have to write down something positive about myself, Great therapy.

    Keep up your great work. Think how crap it would have been in the wine witch days if your little one woke you at 4.45am

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Just one day at a time. Focus on today & worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. You can do it

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Go SteveF . Well done you. Wise choice

  • Hi to all out there in LS land. Saturday evening & wanted to share something I have just been thinking about.

    When you drink alcohol with friends, collegues, at home, at the pub or out dining someone is always saying – can I get you another drink, can I top your glass up

    In sober land I have just realised that no one offers you a drink .No really even offers to top up your glass. I do always take my own ginger beer, but even then no one offers to get me ‘one out the fridge’ & I have yet to come across someone who has specifically catered for me with no alcohol drinks on hand.

    It is just one of those quirks I guess, but funny how once you don’t drink you are the odd one out. It came to my attention this afo when hubby sat down with his beer & I said – where’s my drink

    Has anyone else noticed this when they socialise.

    While I’m here I will put my bragging hat on
    428 days sober & better off by $7337.00+++. I don’t have anything in particular to show for the $$ but at least it is still in the bank.
    We are thinking of getting new carpet this year so I can say I have saved towards it for the past 428 days

    Well done to everyone out there be it day one or day 1000 & one. I do have to make a conscious effort everyday to NOT DRINK ALCOHOL

    • Well done on 428 days, that is freaking awesome! I recently got new carpet in my house and I totally love it. Went for a thicker weight than the standard (cheapest) and I don’t regret that at all xx

    • MtEdenMister has realised this is important…yay! It only serves to make us feel excluded and abnormal.

      Isn’t it amazing how much money we poured into poisoning ourselves!!?

    • @68notout I never thought about that! Maybe it is a way that drinkers have of covering their own need for another round. Hmm

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    Light Ginger Beer for me. Brown bottle, just like a beer bottle. Does the job

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    I reckon he’s jealous of you for not drinking & he is. Since I have stopped drinking (408 days) I notice people seem to immediately ‘excuse themselves’ with – yes I should do that – yes I don’t drink one day a week – yes sometimes I should say no etc. etc. etc. Really if only they knew I don’t care about anybody else’s drinking habits. I think it makes people feel better to say such things
    Keep up the great journey. Ginger beer is my drink of choice now

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Welcome to our world @MissBridget , you sure are in the right place. This is the place where we care about each other, we support each other & good ideas given out freely. Start your journey with us.

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Hi Lizzy, you will have the strength because your head is nice & clear & ready to handle the toughest road.
    One of things I have felt so good about on my AF journey – is being at the ready for my grandchildren. I can drive them anywhere, anytime. So you are ready anytime to be at the beside of your father in law, or at the ready for the family. God Bless

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Great story & oh so true. We do have to fix ourselves, but, sometimes need a little help & encouragement along the way. Well done you on your sober journey.
    45+ days is great & just keeping ticking those days off.
    One of my goals is to never go back to a ‘1’ on the top right hand corner of the site. It currently sits at 399
    Keep up your great journey

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 4 months ago

    Well done @lawgirl on day 3. After that lovely sleep you will be into day 4….

    One of the best things I have enjoyed since being AF is going to bed & drifting off to sleep after reading or watching tv. Before AF I went to bed & passed out, woke up after about 2 hours & thought it was time to get up. My radio was my friend overnight. Now I sleep better than the past 30+ years.
    Keep up the good work & enjoy that lovely feeling of going to sleep naturally

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    You can do it LuluD.

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Keep up the good work Kit. That is one thing I rally appreciate & enjoy since not drinking – a good nights sleep. I love it every morning when I wake that I feel good, refreshed & ready for the day

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Love it. How true

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Thank you everyone for your encouraging supportive comments. Bring on the next 364 days

  • OMG. Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh. Oh my god. Oh my golly gosh. Oh my I can’t believe I have made 365 days.
    Wow Wow Wow I am so proud of me.
    When I began this journey I decided it would be one day at a time & I suggested to my hubby that I try & go to my 70th birthday. My 70th birthday came 9 months later & I had thought – bugger that I don’t need a drink, so I celebrated with my ginger beer.
    I do think about drinking every day & I am jealous of friends who can control their intake of alcohol & enjoy a drink or two. I can’t, it is all or nothing.
    On the journey I have saved at least $6200. That is scary, because it doesn’t even include what I would drink if we went out. That would be 3 drinks at least @ $9 each. I shudder to think of the total $$ saved.
    I don’t have anything to show for my savings, except obviously more money in the bank. which is a nice feeling when you are retired
    I have a daughter overseas who, along with her hubby, has been totally supportive of me & re enforces how proud she is of me each time I talk with her. Yesterday I opened my front door & there was a beautiful bunch of flower,s along with a lovely bag of russian fudge, from them both to acknowledge my journey. I was so ‘chuffed’ I shed a tear or two.
    Thank you LS land for your encouragement a couple of times when the going got tough. Your support, suggestions etc have helped me immensely. 30+ years of drinking & was getting worse.
    My encouragement in return is that it doesn’t matter what day your are on, each day is a new day & sent to us to enjoy & I can tell you enjoying it living sober is such a lovely healthy way.
    My daughter also said – thank you for showing me that change can be made at any age.
    Bring on day 366

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Who am I to judge you?? I think you are amazing for fronting up & admitting that things haven’t been going to to well in the booze department. I think we all know that feeling. I hope your ‘different way round’ works & you can tick one day off at a time.
    This site is here to support not judge

    Bring on day 3

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Very good reading article. Going to make myself one of the cards. I like the 4D’s

    Thanks for sharing

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    Thank you so much for your advice freedeom1025 . I have looked up the website & shall be going back there for sure to read through what she has to say. Thank you also for advising there is such a thing & yes I am sure he is suffering from lack of emotion/love etc from his childhood. We come from different backgrounds & I was very fortunate to have been raised in a loving home, whilst he had nothing. Also his father ‘hung himself’ in the garden shed & I am sure that is a very bad childhood memory.
    we have sat down & had a conversation this afternoon & I dropped in about his background & the ir is quite a bit clearer now

    Thank you so much for your response. I shall update once I had had time to take in her website etc.

    A beautiful day here in NZ. I have been to my volunteer job for Hospice NZ & I now think I shall indulge in a bottle of Lindeaur bubbly GRAPE juice

  • 68notout posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    thank you Prudence. I have just had a sit down with him & I ‘think’ he heard most of what I was saying. He has said I have made him aware of a few things, so here goes.

    Thank you for your support

  • Dear LS, well I almost made the fatal mistake last night. After 326 days I so badly wanted to purchase a bottle of vodka I would have sculled straight from the bottle.
    I had got myself into such a state I was shaking.
    Problem- I have a very uncomunicative husband. I seem to do all the talking in the house & all the worries & issues & bills & money & family & & & etc., etc., etc., are in my lap. There are times when this gets to much for me & I beg for his emotional support but he just doesn’t hear me. I am so very tired from keeping the home running. Over the past 326 days I have changed but I most certainly believe it is for the better. If nothing else it is $5588 better.
    When I am struggling & just want some mental support he always says – well go back to the counsellor, or go back to the doctor. No, I want you to help me…………Deaf ears
    I packed myself off to be because I knew it was the safest place to be & am very proud of myself for not having buckled & given in.
    I suggested he went to counselling, but that bought a tear to his eye & I retracted.
    Thank you dear LS land for listening to me this morning. I do feel better
    I’m now off to my volunteer job for the day & the folks there will cheer me up for sure

    • @66notout. I feel for you! It is so hard. I say to myself that I’m doing sober for myself and for nobody else. It helps a bit. A warm hug will help, I know. So proud you did not turn back to the addictive drug that destroys our clear mind. That tear in his eye means he knows. Keep looking to tomorrow xxx

    • I know what you mean. In our marriage, l do all the hard stuff-deal with schools, sports, sickness etc. I fight hard to not feel resentful about this when l don’t get the validation or support l want. At the end of the day, l am just better at it. It is so important to not ‘escalate’ when we feel any emotion strongly. Good job on not doing that. Xx

    • It’s hard not to be resentful when you are not supported. Maybe couples counselling would be a good idea. Don’t let the booze beast tempt you back now at nearly a year AF. It’s the answer to nothing. Everything is better without alcohol.

    • I wonder what the heck it is with all these unenlightened men around these days. The women are leaving them in the dust as far as growth and communication are concerned. I agree with @bettermylife that the tear is because he knows. Maybe it is best to be gentle with him. Not at all angry or don’t show it, or resentment. Just sit him down calmly one day and tell him how it is. Tell him as a woman, as a wife, this is not enough for you without him being fully on board as your partner. It’s not what you signed up for. His complacency is wearing you out emotionally. Shape up or ship the fuck out!! hehehe sorry @68notout I get a bit carried away. But honestly, some men need it all spelt out for them. Just do it in a different manner than you have before, so it sinks in. Tell him you do not expect miracles over night, but you do expect change. Leave the “or else” hanging, unsaid. He will know you are serious. He might be depressed. Whatever it is, it needs dealing with, so it will be hard for him to get out of his comfort zone, and only a firm push will do it. Excuse me please if I’ve gone on a bit much. I’ll go to my desk now and do some work xoxo

      • thank you Prudence. I have just had a sit down with him & I ‘think’ he heard most of what I was saying. He has said I have made him aware of a few things, so here goes.

        Thank you for your support

    • @68notout I completely get it. My husband is a wonderful kind man but is lousy at connecting emotionally. After several rounds of counseling we have the problem pegged that he suffers from Childhood Emotional Neglect. Dr Jonice Webb has a couple of books on it and even has a website. But even knowing the cause hasn’t helped much in his ability to connect. It’s a work in progress. Interestingly enough, me quitting the booze has brought the issue to a head. I used to drink to numb the fact I wasn’t getting any emotional support from him. Now that I don’t numb out, I need that connection or we’ll need to go our separate ways which would be so sad after 24 years of marriage and 3 wonderful kids. Stay close and let me know how you’re doing.

      • Thank you so much for your advice freedeom1025 . I have looked up the website & shall be going back there for sure to read through what she has to say. Thank you also for advising there is such a thing & yes I am sure he is suffering from lack of emotion/love etc from his childhood. We come from different backgrounds & I was very fortunate to have been raised in a loving home, whilst he had nothing. Also his father ‘hung himself’ in the garden shed & I am sure that is a very bad childhood memory.
        we have sat down & had a conversation this afternoon & I dropped in about his background & the ir is quite a bit clearer now

        Thank you so much for your response. I shall update once I had had time to take in her website etc.

        A beautiful day here in NZ. I have been to my volunteer job for Hospice NZ & I now think I shall indulge in a bottle of Lindeaur bubbly GRAPE juice

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