Getting sober is hard work – it is! Anyone who says otherwise is either lucky or lying.
Of course everyone’s story is different but it is probably fair to say that there is a big amount of work that everyone needs to do in the early stages of recovery to re-frame their identity.
During the early days without booze most of us think loads of thoughts that intensify the whole process making it seem scary as all hell…
* Am I still that fun/funny/entertaining/relaxed version of myself now that I no longer drink alcohol?
*Does everyone think I’m boring/straight/geeky/uptight now that I don’t drink alcohol?
*Will I be able to sleep/dance/open up/relax/have fun now that I don’t drink alcohol?
*How am I going to cope with Christmas/Mothers Day/that party/wedding/BBQ now that I don’t drink alcohol?
*How am I going to deal with my depression/anxiety/insomnia/diet/difficult relationships now that I don’t drink alcohol?
WHO AM I? WHAT AM I? WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK OF ME? WHAT DO I THINK OF ME? HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO LIVE WITHOUT BOOZE???????!!!!!!!!!!!
To all of you newly sober people feeling this fear, our beloved community member @prudence has a message for you. She wrote it in the Members Feed some weeks ago and I’ve been saving it to share more widely here in a blog post (with her permission). Enjoy.
For all of you struggling through your first week, or weeks … hold on.
Just hold on.
Tough it out, dig deep to find that powerful inner strength within you when the going gets tough.
Remember why you are doing this, and if you cave in you are only going to get real pissed off at yourselves afterwards, and have to start again with possibly less faith in yourselves than you have right in your struggling moment.
The struggle is worth it. Forget everyone else. It’s about YOU and it is also very much about how you are starting to feel about this new strong amazing you.
Self respect is such a brilliant feeling and the possibilites that open up once you’ve done the first hard yards are just endless.
That first real happy genuine grin at yourself in the mirror is priceless. You become your own best friend.
I WANT these feelings for all of you. Keep up the good fight.
You are all hero’s just for being here. Winners. That’s what you are!!
Just hold on.