I don’t care what anyone else thinks…

Sometimes I have this fleeting thought that I’m actually kidding myself that I’m still fun now that I’m sober… and in actual fact most people are privately thinking to themselves ‘oh that boring sober Mrs D with her boring sober life, who’d want to know her?’.

Truth is I probably thought that about ‘straight’, ‘boring’ (non-party) people when I was a boozer. And there are probably party (boozy) people who do think this about me now. But I just can’t care about their opinions. I can’t care and I don’t care. I just have to know what my own truth is which is that I’m so much happier and more contented now that I’m not drinking. And if that makes me boring in some people’s eyes then so be it.

And yes, most of the time I do not very much other than potter around my house and neighborhood and ferry the kids to-and-from their activities. Does that make me boring or just an ordinary housewife and mother? I feel alive and interesting as I move about my days – especially now I’m not hungover and racked with guilt all the bloody time.

And sometimes I do go out – to restaurants with friends or parties or bbqs or weddings or whatever. And when I do any of that of course I have fun. Sometimes I even have a blinder! It depends what’s going on at the event, my mood & outfit & the crowd & atmosphere. You know, all the actual elements of the party.

Actually, you know what. It’s bullshit that I’m boring now that I’m sober. If I go to parties I’m chatty and fun.. hell I’ll even get my dance on if I’m in the mood.  Why does alcohol have all the power to make me fun? It doesn’t! And even if I’m in a low-key mood at a party and having quiet chats in the corner.. that’s not boring. That’s just quiet chats in the corner (one of the best revelations for me in sobriety has been discovering how lovely and memorable the quiet chats at parties can be. I never knew that).

It’s bullshit that boozy equals fun. Boozy just equals boozy. So I don’t care what people think. If they want to think I’m boring that’s their business. I don’t think I’m boring. I’m sober, that’s all. And sober does not equal boring. Anyone who thinks that is a dickhead. So there.

Love, Mrs D xxx

18 Comments
  1. Anonymous 1 year ago

    Very much agree with this post as I have been struggling with what other people think about my decision not to drink. I have been guilty of avoiding social outings because I know everyone will be drinking and I am scared of being tempted. This post resonates with how I have to change my approach and have the confidence in my decision not to drink.

  2. Jus072 1 year ago

    8 days down and I have TWO functions to attend over the next week. Kind of dreading it but then I’ll be SO proud of myself when all I’ve drunk is soda water and lime. Might even treat myself to a coke! Oooer! One day I will feel like I’m not missing out. One day this ‘alco-chatter’ will calm in my head. All I seem to do is think about grog… that bit hasn’t changed. Early days!

  3. Marsha 1 year ago

    Thanks so much. I took a lot out of that night, main one being, for once, I had no regrets but only pride at staying true to my new choices in life and yeah….the hope thst they all felt like assholes t hat morning. Oh the only other regret was not taking all the toilet rolls with me, when I made my early escape lol x

  4. Marsha 1 year ago

    Thanks, appreciate your reply.

  5. Frankie 1 year ago

    They sound like arseholes! I’m so sorry you had a shit time but they probably did you a favour. Well done for staying true to yourself x

  6. NoMore 1 year ago

    I first had a social occasion AF while doing FebFast one year. It was an eye-opener to enjoy an evening, dance, talk and remember it all the next day. Also to realise that not everyone is knocking it back. A lot of people only have a couple of drinks. So I know I can enjoy an evening without alcohol. The one thing I can’t do AF is stay interested into the wee hours. If those I’m with are all drinking and wanting to pub crawl, I’m done. That is boring to me. If they think I’m boring, who cares?

  7. Marsha 1 year ago

    Just spent an awful weekend away, first time sober with a group who I always got hammerd with. Even though they knew I wasn’t drinking, they made me feel, as you say…boring. At 3.30 in the morning, having listened to them for over 3 hours being stupid, then, hysterical, then morose, I asked could they turn down the volume, allI got told, was to f…off to bed. I found a street cone, which they had bought back with them from the pub, placed outside my room, in the hope no doubt that, I would trip over in the dark, how funny was that…..not. I feel proud that I stayed true to myself, and was able to write this with no hangover, and my dignity in tact. More importantly, these “friends”, did me a huge favor, if that is what drunk looks like, can’t wait to be more boring than ever !

    • Sammy 1 year ago

      Man that sounds tough Marsha . If you can get through that you can handle any social function ! Plus I reckon it’s people who have the biggest issues with their own drinking that can’t handle you being sober. It was their own issues not you ! Also reckon they would have felt real bad the day after, even if they didn’t say anything. Remember the old hungover regrets!

    • aprilohlson 1 year ago

      love the way you say that “cant wait to be more boring…” for the first time that was brought to my attention too by someone who actually always complained about me for a not English as main language speaking person. I felt the same relief this morning when I see him not so chatty head down probably diarrhea. im relieved im looking like that or feeling bad, sick or where the hell did all my money go. good for you. I know what its like to have somewhat of the piss taken out of me for not drinking and going to AA but I always find what I could never get from drinkers, druggies, truth and honesty plus talk I can handle and relate too and I don’t get anxiety or upset hearing those in recovery. Good for you! proud of you.

  8. poohbear22 1 year ago

    I’ve been doing well these last few days and I plan to continue. Sometimes things come up which brings my mind back to the drinking days. Like today for example. I remember one reason why I drank because I was bored. Can you imagine being bored in Las Vegas ? I didn’t always live here until seven years ago. I moved here with my husband who is very much a home body. We hardly do anything together and never really go out. Me, I enjoy life and all that it has to offer. This is one of the reasons why I drank. To get over the boredom of being home all the time. Now this is something I need to get fixed. I don’t really have friends and the ones that I did have, partied all the time. I need to learn how to re-direct my mind so that I can stay busy. I am in college pursuing my bachelors degree in psychology. My study frame of mind is better. I can concentrate without having a drink in my hand. The weather is much cooler now, so I will be going out for more walks and maybe some hiking. I’m trying to get back into shape. I’m open to more ideas on how to cure this relative bouts of being bored.

  9. Ro 1 year ago

    Great attitude and one that I share. The only people we should worry about what they think about us are the people we love. They are the ones that care.

  10. Amy 1 year ago

    I love this! I had quite a few social engagements early in my sobriety and haven’t had any for a little while now – not for any particular reason, other than just timing of events. I have a few coming up in the next 4 – 6 weeks and reading this post was very timely for me. Thank you!

  11. Kirst 1 year ago

    Great post! When I drank, I hung out with the same people every weekend, usually drinking at the same house, telling the same old stories, laughing at the same old jokes…. When I look back, that was BORING! The funny thing is that since I have been sober my social life has never been busier and more varied . I guess in part because I am more motivated but also because I am interested and engaged and people respond positively and the invitations flow! Boring? Not anymore! Day 631 x

  12. Anonymous 1 year ago

    I genuinely do not give a flying FUCK what anybody else thinks about my choice to live booze free. I am a better person now. And THAT is all that matters.

  13. behind-the-sofa 1 year ago

    If you feel alive and interesting, then that’s all that matters…. you can’t control or even really know what other people are thinking…. I’ve been feeling quite flat and bored recently…. days and weeks all merging into one long cavalcade…. Sometimes I wish I could drink just to shake things up a bit but I know that isn’t an option for me anymore…. I will have to persist and try to find new activities to do……

    • aprilohlson 1 year ago

      love this too. I need to own this mentality. I don’t care what others think about my sober days. amazing how much shit they really thought when I stopped. im still living to admit to me the personality I should know I had.

  14. Eschia 1 year ago

    Nice post & thank you. One question: When you wrote ~ Sometimes I even have a blinder! What’s a blinder?

    • behind-the-sofa 1 year ago

      blinder = a really good time.

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