Sometimes I have this fleeting thought that I’m actually kidding myself that I’m still fun now that I’m sober… and in actual fact most people are privately thinking to themselves ‘oh that boring sober Mrs D with her boring sober life, who’d want to know her?’.
Truth is I probably thought that about ‘straight’, ‘boring’ (non-party) people when I was a boozer. And there are probably party (boozy) people who do think this about me now. But I just can’t care about their opinions. I can’t care and I don’t care. I just have to know what my own truth is which is that I’m so much happier and more contented now that I’m not drinking. And if that makes me boring in some people’s eyes then so be it.
And yes, most of the time I do not very much other than potter around my house and neighborhood and ferry the kids to-and-from their activities. Does that make me boring or just an ordinary housewife and mother? I feel alive and interesting as I move about my days – especially now I’m not hungover and racked with guilt all the bloody time.
And sometimes I do go out – to restaurants with friends or parties or bbqs or weddings or whatever. And when I do any of that of course I have fun. Sometimes I even have a blinder! It depends what’s going on at the event, my mood & outfit & the crowd & atmosphere. You know, all the actual elements of the party.
Actually, you know what. It’s bullshit that I’m boring now that I’m sober. If I go to parties I’m chatty and fun.. hell I’ll even get my dance on if I’m in the mood. Why does alcohol have all the power to make me fun? It doesn’t! And even if I’m in a low-key mood at a party and having quiet chats in the corner.. that’s not boring. That’s just quiet chats in the corner (one of the best revelations for me in sobriety has been discovering how lovely and memorable the quiet chats at parties can be. I never knew that).
It’s bullshit that boozy equals fun. Boozy just equals boozy. So I don’t care what people think. If they want to think I’m boring that’s their business. I don’t think I’m boring. I’m sober, that’s all. And sober does not equal boring. Anyone who thinks that is a dickhead. So there.
Love, Mrs D xxx