We talk often here at Living Sober about how the early days of sobriety are so damn hard. How they’re full of cravings, tears, grief, disrupted sleep, grumpiness and generally just freaking the hell out.
But there are often little glimmers in the early days of joy, of hope and happiness. Little whiffs of excitement that signify change is coming and, maybe just maybe it’s going to be a good thing.
Member @lillyz is in the very early stages of getting sober herself and wrote this update in the Members Feed the other day. She brilliantly articulates the addictive voice at work (the one trying to convince her to pick up again), it’s inspiring how strong and clear she is in her resolution not to listen to that voice, and she is so great at focussing on all the positives that are already becoming apparent about being sober.
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@lillyz: I am sitting here eating toast and having a nice strong cup of tea. I had a reasonable nights sleep. I haven’t been feeling so great health-wise. I may of caught a bit of a bug. But it’s Day 7 today and I am feeling good.
In fact I am feeling great – sober wise. I am taking each day as it comes, but doing all I can to not drink.
First and foremost I am starting with my mind. Previously when I have drunk again I have let that little voice through the door saying; “You have done so well not drinking so you are allowed to have a few wines now.” “You don’t have a problem, see? You can go without it.” “All you need to do is drink socially or only have one or two drinks. You can do it”
Well, it is that little paragraph of voice I intend to NOT let through the door. I am visualising my foot at the ready to stop the door from opening any more!!
What I am loving about not drinking is the fact that I TOTALLY feel I have permission to be KIND to myself.
* I am loving spending a little longer in bed.
* I am loving massaging my head and it not hurt.
* I am loving not having a sore throat.
* I am loving drinking nice flavours of tea.
* I am loving drinking coffee milk.
* I am loving waking up in the night and feeling so proud of myself – YAY – I did not drink!
* I am loving not having to worry about having enough alcohol in the house or running off to get some.
* I am loving having more money in my grocery account.
* I am loving feeling guilt free.
* I am loving not going to the recycle bin with empty bottles of wine and hiding them under other things so hubby doesn’t see how much I drink.
* I am loving friends and family contacting me in the evening and not feeling like I have to ‘show’ I am not drunk.
* I am loving getting up in the morning and not having a hangover.
* I am loving the new thoughts and ideas that are coming into my mind because its not taken up with guilt and self pity.
* I am loving how my face looks rested and not tired – nor blotchy and red.
Gosh………. there are so many things to be thankful for. I am happy happy happy. 🙂
@lillyz
“First and foremost I am starting with my mind. Previously when I have drunk again I have let that little voice through the door saying; “You have done so well not drinking so you are allowed to have a few wines now.” “You don’t have a problem, see? You can go without it.” “All you need to do is drink socially or only have one or two drinks. You can do it”
Thank you so much for this paragraph. It is exactly what happens to me and I have listened to it and gone back to my old habits. I am now at Day 4 and I am determined this time to become AF. Reading all the posts is so helpful and quite humbling as well. Very good luck to all of us in our efforts.
So glad for this post, regardless of it’s age. Day Seven for me! Keeping the voice at bay. Not so easy, but I was actually prepared for hell withdrawal wise. Sleeping better now, thinking clearer and enjoying having so much more time on my hands to organise my life. Face less bloated and blotchy. I did this with Allan Carr’s Easy Way to Control Alcohol. Any one else use this book?
I am on day 7, too. And, while things are hard at home, staying sober feels really good. No headaches, guilt, hangovers, and hiding from people. Thanks for the beautiful post.
Today is Day 7 for Me also. I can’t think too much there is too much pain and guilt so I chose to Enjoy the Moments and the Beauty around Me. Looking forward to the Snow Today.
yesterday i was almost tempted to have few shots. as the craving went higher, i grabbed a heavy meal.. and it subsided down. Day 7 today.. cheers
This is perfect.
I love speaking to someone and not worrying if they can smell the booze on my breath.
Thank you. I’m going to read this every day!!!!
My day 7 today yay..the last 2 nights I have slept though the night .I woke confused when the alarm woke me.
then it hit me. no waking to go loo. no heart pounding guilt, sickness or thirst. I’m doing it.
Absolutely spot on. Thanks for the message just what I needed to hear. Congrats xx
This was great!!! SO many wonderful “I’m loving” moments. Way to go, and thanks for the inspiration this morning. 🙂
That’s an awesome post,so honest,I love all of those things about not drinking too.
Keep going Lily,and treat yourself in little ways ,things that work for you,I found bubble baths wonderful,buying myself fresh roses weekly,buying good thriller books,and keeping the home tidy,clean and organised works for me, I’m at 5 months alcohol free.
That is awesome Clare 😉 Fresh roses sound wonderful. Congrats on 5 months.. that is fabulous 🙂
What a fab post @lillyz, You sound awesomely determined. Go Girl : ) Thanks for featuring it Mrs D. I would have missed it otherwise!!
I am loving your guest post! Keep going, you’re doing great!
Lovely post lillyz. So happy for you to be feeling and seeing the benefits of your hard work and dedication. xx
Amen! 🙂
This is great and I’m sure we can all relate to many points here. Not listening to that voice that thinks we can moderate and reward ourselves with just the one is the hardest thing to do.