Choose Your Battles (Guest Post)

wooden carving of maori female face

This piece was first written as an update in the Members Feed by @māorigirlsober on her 80th sober day. I thought it so powerful it was worth sharing here. She begins with a well-known quote about choice...



"Choice is the most powerful tool we have. Everything boils down to choice. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities. Every choice we make shuts an infinite amount of doors and opens an infinite amount of doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives. It is all in our hands, our hearts and our minds.”

This morning I hear the birds singing through the breaks of torrential rain. I am grateful to be here and grateful for all that I have.

Through my time of sobriety, I have noticed that I am choosing which battles I need to fight and which ones don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Because of these choices, I have far less anxiety and my happiness is far more sustainable.

Today, I am better at creating boundaries and saying "No" is easier as I grow stronger. I no longer have the disease to 'people please'.

I have nothing to prove.

The issues in my life that used to upset me, no longer do. I’ve let many of them go to live in the past where they belong.

My choices to rise early and eat well and stay fit serve my mental strength better than any other habits I’ve ever had.

When I look in the mirror, it’s hard to recognise the newer me, the one who is well and carefree. The sparkle has returned to my eyes and there are no longer black circles beneath them.

I no longer suffer from paranoia or think about how to solve all of the worlds problems. I only take on what has my name on it. Nothing more and nothing less.

Drama doesn’t live in my house any more and I’m noticing the change in my friendship circles. The ones who’ve remained and the ones who no longer invite me out because perhaps I’m not that fun girl anymore?

I don’t mind. My choice is to protect my inner peace. The one thing I’ve been swimming towards for what has felt like fucking forever somedays!

My island. My peace. My choices that have led me here.

As I take a breath to finish this entry, I think about how I would lock myself in my own prison and think I could never step out. Once I felt that moment of bravery to step forward, each day puts me further away from the person that I used to know.

My choice is sobriety. Until my last breath.


  1. kazstar 2 years ago

    Ataahua. Thanks for sharing x

  2. SueK 4 years ago

    What a powerful post. Brought tears to my eye — every word rings true.

  3. delgirl68 4 years ago

    Thank you @maorigirlsober, I love this post xx

  4. allyoop 4 years ago

    yes what a mess.i am in the mire but with straight wisdom like that.i remember how himan i am.many thanks .

  5. pulling 4 years ago

    Beautifully written and a piece I will reread many times. There is an old Zen story about a young monk and his teacher: the young monk asks, How can I be free? The teacher responds, Who has imprisoned you? Alcohol had been a prison for me as have ruminating thoughts, and believing I have no choice. Thank you for this.

  6. Shirleyjo 4 years ago

    Thank you. People pleasing & anxiety steals our peace ! Your words spoke truth

  7. joaninha 4 years ago

    So much to relate to! Thanks ! 🙂

  8. joaninha 4 years ago

    So much to relate to! Realising a lot of the stresses we had before, things that worried us and “solving the worlds problems” was related to alcohol is a huge step forward. Thanks for the inspiring words

  9. AprilsFool 4 years ago

    Powerful. Peaceful. Authentic. Thank you for that.

  10. Noodle71 4 years ago

    Awesome, we can all relate to this for sure ?

  11. Elsa1202 4 years ago

    Love it! Beautiful. Thank you

  12. Mari135 4 years ago

    So beautiful….I second what the others wrote. oxoxox Thank you for sharing this!

  13. mungomaryandmidge 4 years ago

    Thanks so much ?

  14. Adamodea 4 years ago

    thankyou for that

  15. Adamodea 4 years ago

    thanyou for that

  16. getbusyliving11 4 years ago

    Just stripping away all the unnecessary stuff/junk/clutter in our lives and minds to reveal the real ‘you’ and what a powerful and amazing person you are. It is great to realise the choices we have rather then worry about what we can not control – I am a ‘work in progress’ with this but much happier to wake up to a new day. Beautifully written with powerful imagery – keep writing!

  17. 68notout 4 years ago

    Very pwoerful words. Thanks for sharing

    • whichisnice 4 years ago

      Thank you very much. This has legs. This will echo. This. This is beautiful and well fit for all of us. Me. Thank you very much.

  18. Lizk 4 years ago

    Wow. That is epic! ??

  19. Lucky44 4 years ago

    That was fantastic and thanks for sharing!!

  20. JM 4 years ago

    There’s so much here I can relate to, beautiful + so true + empowering!! Thanks @maorigirlsober + @Mrs-D! xo

  21. DennyD 4 years ago

    Wow that is such a powerful and beautiful post xx

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