We’re hosting a big dinner party here on Saturday night. A 10th Anniversary Dinner Party Extravaganza! for our Antenatal Group who met through Parents Centre years ago. I wrote about these people in my book.. we’re a wonderful group of friends who all live in separate suburbs but come together regularly to share and support each other.. and have fun!
I don’t think any of these people ever realised what a problem my drinking was. They probably would have known I was an enthusiastic boozer.. but not the full extent of my drinking across the week (no-one knows unless they’re in your body & mind do they..?). And certainly the last 4 years of my drinking when I was really hitting it hard I was away from them all up in Auckland.
When I came back to Wellington I was sober and even though I don’t think they fully realised what a journey I’d been on they were lovely and supportive. It’s hard for outsiders to know what a massive thing getting sober is.. what immense hard work we have to do and how we feel almost like a completely new person after we beat booze to the curb.
I used to think some folks thought I’d just blown on a feather and got sober. Ha! How far from the truth that is. Lucky for me now I’ve written a book and raved on about it in the media and on-line so much there can be no illusions of the work I’ve been doing. But not everyone gets to do that. This is why we need each other. We know what hard work it is getting sober. We do the same bloody hard work ourselves! Aaarrgghh shitty hard work.
Just checked out the ‘Members Feed’ this morning and thanks everyone for making me cry again…! So much loveliness going on. So much kindness and support and nonjudgmental interactions. Just awesome.
So anyway, this dinner party tomorrow night. I’ve bought some fun Mexican plastic flags, sort of like multi-colored bunting which we’ll string up in the kitchen/dining room. And we’re going to set up a party room for the kids with a disco ball and mini ‘bar’ (my 10 year old is in charge of that and has plans for lolly money). It’s pot-luck so every family is bringing a plate of food or two (and we’ve had fun emails flying around organising that!) and of course it’s BYO drinks and most people will drink alcohol.
But not for me of course. I’m thinking tonic water with orange juice (thanks to a members suggestion).. or my usual favorite soda water with fresh lime juice squeezed in it & ice cubes, in a large green glass goblet. I don’t care that I won’t be drinking. Not one iota. This night is about friends and laughter and food and togetherness and love. It is not about what is in my glass.
Alcohol has no power to make this occasion special. It does, however, have the power to fuck me up so it can fuck off. Sorry about the swearing on a Friday morning but I’m feeling pissed off at how we are all so hard-wired to believe booze adds to our lives and it doesn’t.
It just doesn’t.
Love, Mrs D xxx