A Year of Self Care (by @suek)

Sue in her garden

By Sue Kerr (@suek).

Every December 31st for the past several years, I’ve given myself a mini-retreat, just an hour or two to check back on the year that’s ending: the highs and lows; what do I want more of and what could I do without; what made me proud of myself and where could I do better. Next day, January 1st, I do it again, but with a focus on the year ahead. These rituals have been publised regularly here so others could join in too.

I don’t make “resolutions”, mainly because they sound so formal and strict, and I know I’m not likely to stick with anything formal and strict. Intentions on the other hand, and a few carefully thought out goals, are more encouraging, and more likely to turn into good habits with long-lasting benefits.

This year, I got a head start on my intentions for 2023.

2022 was a tough year in lots of ways, or just the culmination of a few tough years, but amongst the angst, I had a big deal event occur: on October 28, I reached my 10 year soberversity.

I’m still shocked and stunned that I haven’t touched alcohol for 10 whole years.

How did that happen? What made it possible? How did I go from being a daily drinker dependent on alcohol, to being a very happy non-drinker, completely sober for 10 years?

For me it started with a very obvious injection of what I can only call GRACE. Something outside of my will and my ability shifted enough to make that change possible, to get the process started. But after that, staying sober became a matter of changing many unhealthy, careless habits that kept me drinking, into good habits with long-lasting benefits. In a nutshell, living sober has been all about learning to take really good care of myself.

When Mrs D asked me about updating my New Year retreat post, I had already been thinking about writing more about self care. So we decided to add a 'Sober Self Care' blog page to Living Sober, and I have resolved (haha) to write a monthly blog post for all of 2023. Each post will cover a different self care theme. They'll be published around the 1st of every new month, and in them I will share ideas for all the things, small and big, that helped me get and stay sober.

Things that might help you too.

So keep an eye out on the 'Sober Self Care' blog page, and on the home page where Mrs D will feature all the new posts as they go up. I really look forward to going on our Year of Self-Care journey together.


  1. Nina 1 year ago

    Thank you Sue. I will enjoy your writing, I know. At the beginning of this year, I wrote some intentions from these notes, and they are still valid, and don,t make me cringe, like some of my previous soul baring notes to self! Sometimes even the term self-care is hard to accept, yet we have more to give by seeing ourselves as worthy of it. It,s never too late. Warm greetings from Aotearoa.

    • SueK 1 year ago

      It really is amazing how a little bit of caring for ourselves can go such a long way. And also changing the ways we talk to ourselves, from being harsh to being kind and gentle. Itˋs all such a game changer!! I feel I can give much more when Iˋm looking after myself… without feeling like itˋs any more effort or energy. Amazing.

  2. Starlight 1 year ago

    Love it and am looking forward to it! Thank you Sue.

  3. reena 1 year ago

    Always love your posts and contributions @suek! Look forward to reading.

  4. Ginger1960 1 year ago

    I can’t wait to read these. We have to be reminded to take time out for ourselves and treat ourselves with more kindness.

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